Posts Tagged: Marketing

Market Assessed Honestly

"The channel's new name is intended to suggest something that pops, or stands out from the rest. 'It’s something that rises above the noise … a one-of-a-kind maverick,' Schwartz told The Times. 'We’re going for a new audience that we are calling ‘the modern grown-up’ … people in their mid-to-late 30s that have pushed off emotional maturity.'" TV Guide, the channel that was always there, will become Pop, a channel that is still there.


The End of Slogans

Burger King has a new slogan, and it sounds like nonsense: "Be your way." Be your way. Be… your way. What does this mean? It is not clear.

The last one was less confusing. Have it your way: "It" refers to "Burger King food." To "have it" a certain "way" suggests that it can be altered to align with special preferences. These preferences are yours. Have it your way. Burger King will change its food for you, a little.

Now, Be your way: Hmm. "Be your way" suggests that a person can "be a way." But this, like Burger King's last slogan, sounds peeved: "Have it your [...]


The Taco Bell Breakfast Is American Freedom And Pride In Its Best And Most Primal Expression

Were we once a nation of tinkerers that split the atom, created the phonograph, and gave Kevin Costner’s career three distinctly different eras? We were.

And yet, despite all the transistors, pneumatic tires, Roombas, and swivel chairs, the elites apparently have no room in their heart for the Waffle Taco, the most obvious object of derision in Taco Bell’s newly announced breakfast line-up.

“Gross,” they cried, in their truncated communiques. Breakfast, they libeled, would now be served by “a fast food chain heretofore known primarily for serving shredded cheese, refried beans, wilted lettuce, and horse meat in various combinations of tortilla containers.” Taco Bell breakfast “could conceivably [...]


You Won't Believe This Vicious Satire Of Marketing Evil From Adweek

"Marketers Should Take Note of When Women Feel Least Attractive"


Did You Eat The Bones?

Food marketing is psychotic. It creeps. Smithsonian magazine ran a cover story with the headline How the Chicken Conquered the World. "Let us now praise chicken in all its extra-crispy glory! Chicken, the mascot of globalization, the universal symbol of middlebrow culinary aspiration!" That was last year. "Nothing is more worthless than an individual chicken," Joy Williams once observed. Not for Smithsonian. Obviously there was some war going on and the chickens kicked our ass.

It’s not just the birds. For a character in Francesco Pacifico’s novel The Story of my Purity, the place of psychosis is apricot pastries: "Industrial apricots had become humanity’s enemy number one, [...]


What Is The Real-Real Thing?

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."—Oscar Wilde, "The Critic as Artist"

An old friend once told me a story about her son Edison and this other kid he grew up with, Brendan. It seems that when they were really little, like six or so, the boys were on a soccer team, they were playing soccer and Edison fell and was hurt. And everybody clustered round and was all ooh, ahh, to make sure he was okay. Straightaway, Brendan totally faked an injury of his own, thumped to earth and started wailing, so that [...]


Popular Aspects of Celebrities And/Or Gadgets, in Ascending Order

• authentic

• virus-free

• attainable

• exclusive

• compatible

• popular

• English-speaking


Nation Loses Game By Default

Game on! #BELvsUSA

— Cinnabon (@Cinnabon) July 1, 2014

Let’s win this one @USsoccer – and then celebrate with a snack. #tothevictorgotheOreos #USAvsBEL

— Oreo Cookie (@Oreo) July 1, 2014

We believe in Better pizza, and #USA! Do you? #BetterIngredients #BetterFutbol

— Papa John's Pizza (@PapaJohns) July 1, 2014

Want a #soccer player on the Wheaties box? You can make it happen!

— General Mills (@GeneralMills) July 1, 2014

When we stand together as a nation, it's easier to find the strength to #powerthrough. #USA [...]


The Glorious End Of Cereal

Did you have any idea that cereal is considered threatened? That analysts and consultants wake up every morning, put on their suits, and dream up ways to reverse this new business narrative?

Cereal makers have been losing the battle for the breakfast table to other offerings, notably yogurt. So Kellogg Co. has struck a deal with Dannon Co. to bring its cereal across enemy lines–to the yogurt aisle.

Dannon’s YoCrunch brand is known for mix-ins on top of its yogurt cups, which include granola, Oreos and M&M’s. The deal with Kellogg to do the same with Frosted Flakes and Froot Loops in YoCrunch Cereal Bowls that are hitting [...]


How Far Beretta Will Go To Make You Love Guns

"We checked all the Hollywood crap at the door." —Mark Wahlberg, speaking about the making of Lone Survivor, in USA Today, December 22, 2013.

Even though it just opened on Christmas, Lone Survivor has made more money in the U.S. than Oscar-nominated thriller Captain Phillips, which opened back in October—and also stars Navy SEALs. Lone Survivor also beat big 2013 movies like The Hangover 3, Pacific Rim, Oblivion, and Elysium.

Lone Survivor has already made half as much in the U.S. as 1998's Saving Private Ryan, the epic war film to which critics—and its marketing material—favorably compare it. It's already beaten the war film it [...]


The Stupid Online Marketing of Stupid Books

Kathy Andersen, author, Change Your Shoes, Live Your Greatest Life.

If you find yourself writing a book review and publishing it on the Internet, chances are that digital marketers will track down your e-mail address and mark you for public-relations campaigns. Being marketers, they’ll know to focus most of their e-mails on books you might want to review. Being digital, they’ll assume that their audience lacks all but the most basic forms of taste and intelligence and may "Care to speak with Sheila on feeling good in the bedroom (in more ways than one)" or want to follow "a wise and wild path for navigating the dating world [...]


Skydiving Stunt Worth Lots To Energy Drink Brand Because Man Didn't Die

"The sponsorship transcended sports and entertainment into Pop Culture, hitting new consumers that Red Bull does not usually capture, and on a global scale. The value for Red Bull is in the tens of millions of dollars of global exposure, and Red Bull Stratos will continue to be talked about and passed along socially for a very long time." A marketing executive is happy that skydiving daredevil Felix Baumgartner did not plummet to his death yesterday.


Some Revised Tourism Slogans

Acapulco: Not That Many Decapitations Per Capita

Touring The French Riviera? Well Heads Up Because For Some Reason The Casinos Make You Wear Shoes

Detroit — Don't Bother Locking Up When You’re Done

Berlin: Now With Flights To Barcelona!

Come To Sunny South Africa (Unless You Fear Black People, Of Course)

South Korea, Where That Quiet Weirdo From College Moved Shortly Before Never Being Heard From Again


Writers Have Always Been Hustlers

Are you a literary harlot? You are not alone. Even Vladimir Nabokov had an eye for self-marketing, subtly suggesting to photo editors that they feature him as a lepidopterist prancing about the forests in cap, shorts and long socks. (“Some fascinating photos might be also taken of me, a burly but agile man, stalking a rarity or sweeping it into my net from a flowerhead,” he enthused.) Across the pond, the Bloomsbury set regularly posed for fashion shoots in British Vogue in the 1920s. The frumpy Virginia Woolf even went on a “Pretty Woman”-style shopping expedition at French couture houses in London with the magazine’s fashion editor in [...]


The Looming Threat of "Generation Z"

"Here Comes Generation Z," cheers a headline on Bloomberg View. "If, like me, you've been looking for a primer to explain Generation Z, the one that follows the 'Y' millennials," the writer says, "take a look at this 56-slide presentation by Sparks & Honey, a hard-to-pin-down organization that's part marketing agency and part think tank."

This presentation is not a primer. Nor is it a marketing deck, though that is its form. It is a stunning work of speculative fiction about a future that must be avoided at all costs. It imagines a generation defined exclusively in opposition to the ill-defined one that came before. Its incoherence, like [...]


You Can Stop Your Second Screen Experience Now, Twitter

Would you believe it if I… theorized the web to understand that people tweeting about things on TV does not lead to more people watching those things on TV? How about this idea for cause and effect: What if "a show’s ratings are more likely to drive activity on social media rather than vice versa"? Well that's what NBC is deciding.

But but but! What about this amazing money quote from Twitter money-making honcho Adam Bain last year? “We often have thought about Twitter plus TV, but we are now thinking about Twitter times TV." Haha oops.

What if Twitter is the big beast that straight-up MySpaces in [...]


What Does Your Coffee Say About You? And… Is It Something Terrible?

A tall man with a boy’s face stood outside Philz, a $$-on-Yelp coffee shop with a branch in the Tenderloin. He approached the sleek pre-yuppies going in and out and said, “Excuse me?”

He was white and young and fairly clean—nothing like the bums they’d ignored all day—so many stopped. When he then asked for change, they would duck and weave into the AC’d haven of $4 coffee with fresh mint sprigs. (The nice ones stumbled over an apology.) He moved on.

This Philz (a Bay Area chain) is on Van Ness and Turk, a block from Polk Street and its famous gay and transgender prostitutes. It backs up to [...]


"Yeezus" vs. "Born Sinner": Can J. Cole Compete?

Kanye West and J. Cole have a new found similarity: June 18th. After confirming Mr. West will release his sixth studio album "Yeezus" on June 18th, Cole decided to push up the release of "Born Sinner," his sophomore album. And the young artist may be building a bit of competition for Mr. West. Yesterday Cole released the third single from his album, "N***az Know," and the lyrical demeanor of the single is flawless.

Cole is right. Mr. West is one of the greatest. The man cannot be ignored. He has 21 Grammys and five platinum albums and Cole is displaying immense confidence to even go up against that. [...]


Check Your Hot Dogs Carefully Tomorrow Before Taking Your First Bite, So As To Avoid Chipping A Tooth On A Vibrator

“What we’re doing is taking something like a hot dog cart that is so everyday and so mainstream, and we’re showing people that vibrators are mainstream.” —Bruce Weiss, vice president of marketing at Trojan Vibrations, discusses his company's potentially dangerous plan to distribute 10,000 free vibrators from two hot dog carts that will be wheeled around Manhattan.


The Lady Gaga-Farmville Synergy: Who Gets Paid?

What I don't understand about the future, AKA the present, is: well, who's zooming who? Take a "brand synergy moment" like Lady Gaga premiering her new album in Farmville, which, if you are new to the Internet, is some kind of "time management" game on Facebook where you grow crops. So who pays whom for the honor? Gaga gets an enormous, frightening, keyed-in audience; Farmville gets exclusive "added value." Maybe nobody pays anyone? Is this what Tina Brown wanted in the 90s? Also, between this, her abandoned Target promotion, the terrible new song and everything else, has anyone ridden the steep sine wave of exciting fame to slavish [...]