Posts Tagged: Magic
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A Brief History of Manhattanhenge

Late this evening—be ready by 8—the sun will fall into alignment with the Manhattan grid, illuminating the borough's cross streets with a full, golden glow. In return, the city's buildings will frame the sun perfectly: Photographers, charge your batteries!

You never know what else will happen during Manhattanhenge. In 1991, a dozen children rose from their strollers in the Upper West Side and walked into the park; they were found an hour later, pinned gently against the inside of the bandshell dome, laughing. During 1995's second Manhattanhenge, a cub reporter at the Post, acting on an anonymous phone tip, stared directly into the sun and repeated an unfamiliar name [...]

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Fruit Bowl Makes Sure You Exceed Recommended Daily Allowance Of Pressure And Aggravation

You know, I already have enough people in my life hassling me to get my shit together, I don't need a fruit bowl on my ass to boot.

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Magic Shape-Shifting Jesus Supposedly Arrested On Wrong Night

"Written in the Coptic language, the ancient text tells of Pontius Pilate, the judge who authorized Jesus' crucifixion, having dinner with Jesus before his crucifixion and offering to sacrifice his own son in the place of Jesus. It also explains why Judas used a kiss, specifically, to betray Jesus—because Jesus had the ability to change shape, according to the text—and it puts the day of the arrest of Jesus on Tuesday evening rather than Thursday evening, something that contravenes the Easter timeline." —The shape-shifting Jesus and Pilate offering up his son for substitute crucifixion, that we can handle. But Jesus arrested on Tuesday evening instead of Thursday evening?

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Did Army Use Special Mind Voodoo To Trick Hippie Senators Into Funding War?

I do not even know where to start with this one: "The U.S. Army illegally ordered a team of soldiers specializing in 'psychological operations' to manipulate visiting American senators into providing more troops and funding for the war, Rolling Stone has learned – and when an officer tried to stop the operation, he was railroaded by military investigators."

Photo by Fiseha Hailemichael.

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It's A Good Time To Be In The Wizarding Business

While we're all waiting for those green shoots to fully bloom, there are certain industries in which it is still possible to make a decent living. In Saudi Arabia, for example, there's big bucks in spells:: "Hardly a day passes without a local newspaper reporting the arrest of a sorcerer in the Kingdom, something that is indicative of the widespread meddling in sorcery. It is, however, not just sorcerers who make money – those who treat (or claim to treat) magic and the evil eye are also rolling in dollars."

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Pill Scammy

This has gotta be some kind of Handmaid's Tale-type trap, right?

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Next Election To Be Decided By Wizards

Nearly half of all voters are so dumb they'll completely change their strongly held political beliefs if you give them a piece of paper with opposite beliefs, researchers have discovered. Even the youngest wizards and witches can perform such simple magic, meaning that all future elections will be decided by our oldest and still most believable religious system: magic.

To get people to reverse their opinions, crafty researchers had the test subjects fill out a survey about an upcoming election. After the dummies finished their forms, the researchers used "sleight of hand" to return a form with the opposite answers selected. "92% of the study participants accepted the manipulated summary [...]

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"Daily Show" Writer Jason Ross On Writing For Free and Breaking Into Comedy

Since 2002, Jason Ross (@jasonjross on Twitter) has been a writer for "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart," where his team has won a half-dozen Emmy Awards for outstanding writing and produced the best-selling America: The Book and Earth: The Book.

Jason Ross: Here I am.

Ken Layne: Hello, sir! I'm in the middle of the greatest consumer survey in human history.

Jason: That is a fairly low bar to clear.

Ken: Disneyland is building Star Wars Land. This will make Disneyland much more tolerable for me:

Which of the following Star Wars locations would you be especially interested in visiting at the Disneyland Resort? [...]

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Woman Claims Healing Energy Bracelets Are Ineffective!

According to this truly sketchy website, "if you feel unbalanced and generally worn down lately, it is probably because your biofield has fallen victim to the electromagnetic radiation around you." The answer is the iRenew bracelet, obviously. But one woman did not find that her electromagnetic radiation was dealt with properly by this bracelet! So she is suing the company: "Her attorney is asking that he be allowed to sue on behalf of the hundreds of people who bought the bracelets. He estimated damages at $5 million." Oh no, but I have been wearing it in my underpants!

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Video: You're The Slave

Leaving you with this, a gift from the gays.

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Marian–LOL MARINA–Abramovic Just Wants $34,748 More From You

Oh my word, Marina Abramovic is totally gonna get her $600,000 on Kickstarter to like put a roof on the bare wrecked shell of a building that she bought in Hudson for almost a million dollars. That thing is a disaster! But soon it will be a beacon, a pillar, a dark crystal of longform time-based performance art. (That's like taking a train ride up the river, but with intentionality.) The performance artist who put the fun back in fundraising is up against a deadline of this weekend, but surely she'll get there. After all, this happened?

I would need a Kickstarter to raise money to pay someone [...]

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Keep Your Child Fashionably Thin By Putting Meals On Teeny Tiny Plates

Researchers have come up with a hilarious new way to keep Junior from getting larger: Just put your child's meals on very little plates, so the child cannot figure out she is getting a few spoonfuls of blanched kale for dinner, again.

The medical journal Pediatrics just released an exciting new study that proves kids can't tell the difference between plate sizes. Give them gigantic plates, like prop plates from movies about giants, and the youngster will eat enough for a week without noticing. Giving children small plates, like those used in popular Brooklyn restaurants, is an easy way to fake out the minds of our littlest ones.

"Researchers [...]

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Internet Writer Has Opinion On Value Of Internet Website

Before the entire economy of Earth collapsed, online reporters who covered the exciting world of "blogs with banner ads" enjoyed speculating on the value of various websites run by a couple of clever weirdos here and there. Was Gawker Media worth more than General Electric? Had PerezHilton.com eclipsed Disney in valuation? Etc. Well, the economy must finally be "great again," because there's a new Business Insider post claiming Matt Drudge's web page is worth "$150 million to $375 million."

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Oh God. It's the Rise of the Photoshop Machines!

Nerds everywhere are losing their minds over the sneak peek of the Photoshop "Content-Aware Fill" and SO AM I. Basically all the comments on the demo video are like "WHA?" and "OH NOW I'M OUT OF A JOB THANKS." Just think what this new technology will do to magazine cover models!