Posts tagged as Jews
Uncle Hyram in Connecticut
This Nathan Englander story in the New Yorker is pretty great! And in my favorite genre of story, which is "people in a house talking."
Jews Now Able To Drink Heavily, Repress Emotions
Nearly fifteen years after it was declared that Asians are the new Jews, Elena Kagan's nomination to the Supreme Court apparently means that Jews are the new WASPS. I'm not sure what it all signifies, but clearly there is an opportunity somewhere for an ethnic group with moxie and hustle to snap up the vacancy these two promotions have created. I'd suggest Italians, but, you know.
Nasology: What Does It Say About You?
The Ragbag, which you should totally be following or RSSing or whatever, introduces us to the world of nasology, "a belief founded on long continued personal observation that there is more in a Nose than most owners of that appendage are generally aware." Here's a description of one particular type of proboscis that is near and dear to my face. READ MORE
Praying Jew Causes Emergency Landing
"Passengers disturbed by another passenger's actions led to a US Airways flight from La Guardia Airport to Louisville being diverted to Philadelphia this morning." TERROR IN THE SKIES! The 17-year-old passenger was, it turns out, praying. "An officer said the passenger was 'wearing a device on his head' that had straps hanging from it." So yeah: "disruptive passenger," praying teen, whatever.
Rudolph The Big-Nosed Reindeer
"About ten years ago, I was doing a weekend of Christmas concerts, accompanied by a fine regional symphony in California... Minutes before I walked onstage the second night, a nervous representative of the orchestra board appeared in my dressing room to tell me that my program was 'too Jewish.' Wow, I thought, who knew that orchestra management played practical jokes on artists moments before their shows? My laughter turned to disbelief when the stuttering gentleman said that there had, in fact, been complaints." READ MORE
Orrin Hatch Gives Jews The Gift Of Song
"I feel sorry I'm not Jewish sometimes."
-Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) discusses "Eight Days of Hanukkah," his first foray into Hebraic balladry. "Anything I can do for the Jewish people, I will do. Mormons believe the Jewish people are the chosen people, just like the Old Testament says." You'll want to stick around for the part where he seductively unbuttons his shirt and whips out his mezuzah. There's plenty more here.
From the Mailbox: "HERE IS ONE JEW THAT HAS NO PROBLEM WITH CHRISTMAS"
We get mail! In fact, we are on some crazy email lists, including one run by some guy named Tony Caputo. (He needs a Tumblr, bad!) Today he finds hope for the future in the writings of Ben Stein, who is the only Jew he likes. (Besides Jesus, I guess.) Good work, Ben Stein-your ramblings from 2005, about how Christmas bushes are fine with you, have put you in good company in the (mostly imaginary! Except to crazies!) culture wars.
Bad Jews
Is Israeli organized crime getting out of hand in Los Angeles? They are kneecapping rabbis.
A Reader Reports from the Kitchen: Steak and Mac and Cheese
What happens if you actually print out our recipes for steak and mac and cheese and take them to your kitchen? One Awl reader, a lass by the name of Amy, decided to find out while back on the homestead for Thanksgiving. READ MORE
Now-Jobless Brian Schroeder a Scandal for Gays, Latinos, Crimsons, Lawyers
Man, everyone is beating a hasty retreat from association with Brian Schroeder, who set fire to a chapel that contained the remains of 9/11 victims. The former editor of the Harvard Latino Law Review, also a former Duke theater major (wow), was on deferral package from the firm of Sidley Austin. (You remember those: getting well-paid to do pro bono work for a year?) Except now he is not, as his employment offer just evaporated. Anyway, at least the Jews are happy to sit this one out.
