In this weekend's New York Times Magazine, Awl pal Jay Caspian Kang profiles a 21-year-old online poker millionaire. Also in this weekend's New York Time Magazine, Awl pal Heather Havrilesky reflects: "Conversations between middle-aged people and teenagers tend to be a little awkward, probably because we have so much in common." What we're saying is you should read this week's New York Times Magazine. They've got some good writers in there.

Are you allergic to Twitter? Do you befriend people outside your target demographic? Then you may be suffering from an undiagnosed personal branding disorder.

As our country continues its nosedive from prominence, we can all rest assured that, even as our tiny fortunes disappear and our little ships sink, our ability to create the illusion of inherent personal value will save us. Remember, in the golden age of social networking, our personalities are irrelevant; our personal brands are what really matter.

Accordingly, psychologists will soon shift gears from diagnosing personality disorders to diagnosing personal branding disorders. After all, you might be obsessive-compulsively checking Twitter all day for mentions of [...]

Reassuring news from Japan! Our panel of experts has assured us that the current levels of radiation are not a huge threat to those outside a 50k radius of the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station, at least not right at this moment based on the admittedly limited information we're being given, and based on the assumption that no further radioactive material will be released into the atmosphere—which is, in fact, happening at this very minute.

Fortunately, most of our experts agree that a full meltdown of the nuclear fuel at any of the reactors is "wildly unlikely"—although they're not sure what can be done, if anything, to prevent the [...]