"We would like to clarify that the quote 'I have become increasingly convinced that we are heading for a disastrous confrontation and that the 21st century will be remembered for a terrible war between mankind and goats' was a reader question and not a response from Mr Robinson. The next paragraph, 'People often underestimate how dangerous a goat can be – I personally know six people who have become severely injured by goats, and the annual death toll racked up by goats is over 2,000,000', is also a reader question and not a response from Mr Robinson. The Argus is happy to correct [...]
"We had an old Soviet Union poster from the ’70s; the goats had pulled it down and eaten it. They ate my son’s Greek gods and goddesses poster; he was real upset about that. They knocked my wife’s hand-thrown coffee mug off the table. They smashed our jars of homemade pickles and hot sauce. They broke a bunch of light bulbs we use for our starter plants." —GOATS!
"Goats can develop their own unique accents accent from their surroundings, a British study has suggested. Researchers found the animals develop their own speaking voice when they move away from their siblings and mingle with others. They found that a goats' 'accent' changed as they grew older and moved in different groups, disproving claims that their voices were entirely genetic."
Following up on that very important story from earlier, the stolen goat discovered in California during a DUI bust is reportedly doing well. As for his abductors, "It just sounds like they were on a drunken joyride, and the goat became their new buddy along the way,” says a spokesman for the Riverside County Animal Services Department. Well, sure. We've all been there.
Yes, on a very basic level this is a local news story about some goats in Virginia who enjoy hanging out on an IHOP billboard. And even at that basic level there's something enjoyable about it. But the nearly raw nature of the report-neither of the speakers are identified, there is no voice-over annoyance to disrupt the flow of the footage (in fact, save for a short question at the end, the reporter is not heard from at all)-makes for a much more compelling narrative which, as it unspools, reveals the identities and relationships of the interviewees in a way that echoes the short fiction of Barry Hannah or [...]
"Goat No. 11765 spent the last few days of her life foraging on a hillside near Shandon, a pretty town on the central coast of California. On the morning of May 2, 2012, she was placed in a truck and moved to a pen for goats in poor health. A few hours later, a Department of Agriculture inspector watched her struggle in the afternoon heat and, before the accompanying veterinarian could put her down, the goat died." —I am not going to pretend that this in an upbeat piece that will make you feel better about life, but so few of them are anyway that you may as well go [...]
It is Goat Week at Modern Farmer, and they have a LIVE, STREAMING GOAT CAM. I don't want to be a downer, but the way this week is looking already—Early! On a Monday! Sweet Christ!—this may very well be the brightest part of it, so I guess keep a tab open and ready.
Perhaps you're partial to the classic "ibex-as-ninja" footage, or the guy who writes great songs but then sings them so gratingly as to make it difficult for anyone to listen to them. Or maybe you like the one with the death-dealing golden eagle or the leopard. They all have their merits. But for true goat-video lovers, I think this is likely the single greatest goat video of all-time.
This goat wasn't kidding around! Hahaha, get it? Sigh. He had a good run, at least.
To California: "Authorities stopping a suspected drunk driver near Hemet earlier this week found an unusual passenger riding shotgun: a goat." Also: "The driver remained in the vehicle, while another man inside bolted down the street but fell." Also: Actually, you know what? Just go read it yourself.
"Resilient goats delight onlookers after they survive being buried by an avalanche in the French Alps" is the description. You are wondering to yourself, is it possible that such a remarkable story might have been captured on video? I am here to tell you that not only is it possible, it did indeed occur.
Are you the goat or the mirror? Don't answer without thinking seriously about it, because whatever you choose you're stuck with from here on out. [Related]
"Espresso or double-shot, latte or macchiato, cappuccino or capriccino? When ordering a simple coffee in the country where they make it best, you already face a surprisingly vast array of choices. Now, there is another, unusual option: it's called a capriccino, a new warm coffee beverage made with steamed goat’s milk (“capra” is goat in Italian) aimed at the needs – and desires — of an increasing lactose-intolerant population."
"A goat which blows raspberries has become a hit with visitors at a farm in Nottingham…. Staff said that the other goats at the farm have started to develop the quirk too."