"With spring just a few weeks away, Park Slope residents are wondering if discarded holiday trees littering their sidewalks will ever be picked up by city garbage collectors."
"Three large Boa constrictors were found trying to slither out of a duffle bag that mysteriously ended up in a garbage can near a Brooklyn auto-body shop Monday, authorities said."
Well, the TechCrunch "Disrupt" conference in San Francisco has ended. And no one is talking about the drama surrounding TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington's sort-of dismissal any more, because a legal agreement was clearly made with AOL, his former employer, and everyone's obeying the NDA. Plus the vaguely promised self-immolation of the staff of TechCrunch didn't materialize in the slightest. But wait, who won TechCrunch Disrupt???
Of 31 startups competing to be the "winner," they came up with… this thing. "Shaker is a mixture of Second Life, The Sims, and Turntable.fm all mixed together using your Facebook data and connections. Your Facebook profile becomes a walking avatar, your pictures [...]
"I myself am greatly looking forward to the movie. Because the whole point of it – superior people make superior products and earn superior money because they're superior! – is going to be really complemented by the spectacle of this broke-assed movie made with former WB stars for like five cents. I mean, this is an expensive movie, on the face of it. There are like gleaming teal sci-fi train tracks and uberbridges and megaweapons that can explode a goat and the whole thing ends in a postapocalyptic landscape with the death of civilization and everyone in it. (SPOILER.) How are they going to pull that off, Claymation? Or [...]
"Two years ago, officials battling litter and rats in New York City subway stations started a little experiment: Take away trash bins and see where the litter goes. Turns out that it goes away—at least in the 10 stations that were part of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority's pilot program. MTA officials plan to extend the program to 29 more subway stations along the J and M lines later this year."
"In fiscal year 2012, some 4,185 tickets were handed out to residents who used the city’s trash cans as their personal dumpsters, but in the just-ended fiscal 2013, only 922 were given out. The Sanitation Department says fewer monitors were patrolling for perpetrators, as enforcement officers were transferred to traffic duty for[...]
"None of us on that cruise had been to the patch, but we had all heard that it's twice the size of Texas. That's in a textbook. These statements are so frequent and in so many places that they are accepted as fact. But they undermine the credibility of those advocating for reduction of plastic pollution in the terrestrial and marine environments. Plastic is everywhere. But it's not a patch." —Oregon State University in Corvallis microbial oceanographer Angel White sets the record straight. Having once mentioned the alarming original claim myself, I feel an obligation to also further the debunking: There is not a patch of [...]
As if we needed one more reason to hate England and their current ruling monarch, the Empress of British Petroleum! They also inflicted 19-year-old Josh Dubovie on the Eurovision Song Contest, the most important global cultural event ever. He finished in… last place. Reasonably. Germany's unexpected first place though… Hmm. Lena Meyer-Landrut. Basically, Simon Cowell would stab her.
"[A]s temperatures jump into the 40s, and the mounds of snow begin melting away into nothing, artifacts of everyday city life have revealed themselves. Getty photographer Spencer Platt captured images of the mementos that had been frozen in time along city sidewalks: a cucumber on a cocktail pick, a half-eaten slice of pizza, a bottle of wine and a deflated balloon."
OH YES. "And women no longer need to be beautiful in order to express their talent. Lena Dunham and Adele and Lady Gaga and Amy Adams are all perfectly plain, and they are all at the top of their field."
Actual words, typed consecutively, and somehow published. Despite the obvious questions—how the hell did poor Amy Adams get wrapped up in that claim!? And also "how soon is Adele going to BEAT YOU TO DEATH?"—I also… I… I don't know where to start with Stephen Marche's half-profile of Megan Fox for Esquire. I thought the mens' mags had moved on from hiring ghouls—I mean, smart ones even!—to be ghoulish [...]
To Knifecrime Island, where the streets are paved with discarded polystyrene kebab trays. The folks behind the Keep Britain Tidy campaign have come up with this "saucy seaside postcard"-inspired advertisement suggesting residents of this seat of Mars bars wrappers might want to do a bit of tidying up, particularly now that there is a massive budget crisis and soon the space on the streets will be needed for corpses.
Times gossip blogger David Carr is laying out scenarios in which one might enjoy the iPad: "Your partner is watching 'The Amazing Race,' which you find less than amazing. Your day is done and you just want to lay next to him/her and bathe in a glow. You've already downloaded a rental of 'Sherlock Holmes,' which cost $4.99 and took 30 minutes. Put on headphones, hit play. You are alone, together, each of you in your own mediated universe. You hold hands anyway." You know what? I really have NO INTEREST in living like that. I'd rather just wheel my lardy bottom into the permanent virtual reality chamber and [...]