Crazy upper-downer beverage Four Loko was banned in New York City and elsewhere, so then its makers removed caffeine from their delicious secret recipe—and now, thanks to the controversy, it's become a very popular beverage! As proof, we offer this weekend's delivery receipt from a little Carroll Gardens deli. Congratulations, lawmakers and scandal sheets: you made a terrible, sugary, very large, alcohol-full malt beverage an extremely popular endrunkening beverage of choice.

Over the past month, college campuses have started to ban or otherwise reduce availability of the increasingly popular Four Loko. The combination stimulant and depressant has led to hospitalizations amongst college-aged binge drinkers. But for mature fun-seekers, the drink isn't just for rappers any more: it can be a cost-effective way to feel the euphoric effects of far more expensive drugs in the midst of this Great Recession.

Start your hoarding! Today is the last day that Four Loko may be brought into the gated City of New York. Aunty Entity has forbidden Four Loko in her Nanny State Thunderdome! Here's a preview of what this weekend will look like in the District of the Youngs.

Back in July, in assessing the sudden prominence of awful beverage Four Loko in rap, we decided that "rap songs about consumer goods will never be the same again." But there were bigger things on the horizon for Four Loko. In New York, the Latin Kings forced their rape victim to chug 10 cans of Four Loko before torturing him. Out west, a bunch of Central Washington University students "over-dosed" on the drink. New Jersey's Ramapo College has banned it from their campus. To put it mildly, and to stress the least important part of these stories, Four Loko has had a rough month for [...]

Here's state assemblyman Felix Ortiz chugging Four Loko, with a doctor on hand. (Wuss.) Sad to say, this riveting report ends too soon: "At this point we have to stop filming as Ortiz begins vomiting." In any event, the fun and games are over: Four Loko has removed caffeine from its magical recipe. Now we have to drink coffee between sips of our malt beverages. WHEN WILL THE LAMESTREAM MEDIA AND OBAMA'S OVERZEALOUS BIG GOVERNMENT REGULATION STOP?

There has been much commiseration lately over the perceived decline of hip-hop. It's bad because it's fully transitioned to pop, say some. It's bad because of The Internet, say others. To me, this seems to be a whole lot of misplaced nostalgia. Do these people really want to return to the early 90's-so they can hear Cypress Hill on the radio? Or maybe the late 90s, to catch a guest verse from Fiend or C-Murder on some No Limit clusterfuck of a record? The 90s were not some paradise for commercial rap where mainstream radio played UGK, Heltah Skeltah and Mac Dre all the time; most commercial rap sucked in [...]