"The family’s patriarch and matriarch keep a low profile, splitting their time between a large, lavishly furnished apartment on Paris' famous Left Bank and a 6,000 acre estate in the sought-after Loire Valley." —Don't you think there's something going wrong over at Forbes when they decide they have to apply descriptors to "Left Bank" and "Loire Valley"?
Forbes magazine is a rich trove of unintended satire, with its brand scion, Steve Forbes, AKA the Fauntleroy who dreamed of being president, conveniently furnishing the bulk of the entertainment. So it's hard to know how, exactly, one should greet the Forbes brand's dalliance with the idea of deliberate mirth-making, via its annual roster of make-believe plutocrats, packaged as "The Forbes Fictional 15." At the least, the exercise feels redundant-after all, if one hies over to the adulatory lists that furnish the template for the package thrown together by editors Michael Noer and David M. Ewalt, there's plenty of fiction already there to be descried between the [...]
Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Forbes magazine, which makes a point of being far too genteel for morale-boosting, is now dispensing Oprah-style advice to its plutocratic readership. Last week, a cover package was assembled: a "Survivor's Guide for the Affluent," and the introductory text wastes little time making with the tough love. There's the chilling report from New York society photographer Patrick McMullan that his subjects are stinting on party comestibles: "There used to be caviar; now we are seeing a lot more carrots." There's Annelise Peterson, "a socialite and fashion consultant" (read: publicist) who testifies that "disguised shopping"-scoring the odd fur at a charity event or [...]
You might not know it from the way that they dress or the kinds of cars they drive, but some rap music artists make a very respectable living. Forbes magazine, in fact, has made an annual tradition out of their listing the biggest earners in the field. This year's edition came out this week. But it's important to remember that these artists also make music. So here's Forbes' list, augmented by each of these very wealthy individual's best recorded musical performance.
Forbes takes its traffic-whoring creation of galleries based on arbitrary and manipulable metrics to new heights today, with the 2009 list of Hollywood's top-earning actresses. Shockingly, it's a battle between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston! Just like in the tabloids! Nice work, fellas!
Global markets are rapidly recovering from the 2008 financial crisis, and so are the circulations of the fictitious. There are 15 new publications on the 2010 edition of Fabricated 15, our (could be!) annual ranking of fictional print publications with circulations greater than their real-world counterparts.
Forbes' Elisabeth Eaves looks at the bright side of These Troubled Times: "OMG you guys how good is this recession? I mean, it sucks if you don't have, like, money or a job or anything, but I totally just refi'd the mortgage on my place and it's like banks are trying to GIVE me money. Plus, it is totally time to shop. Not just on apartments either! Those bitches behind the counters at fancy clothes stores and those preening 'mos in restaurants could not pretend to be more thrilled to see you! And, like, even if you do lose your job, did you really want to to be doing [...]