Posts Tagged: Elderly

Bar Low

"‘As long as people are doing reasonably sensible things, who are we to tell them what to do? If people are not ending up paralytic in hospital, it doesn’t seem to be doing any harm."


Once You Stop Worrying About Sex Your Brain Can Focus On Everything Else

"Older age may slow the body but the process of aging may sharpen the wit as a new study finds that older adults have superior decision-making skills."


Elderly Kiwis Suffer One Final Indignity On The Way To The Tomb

"The hardest to teach them was a move that involved grabbing on to their crotch—which they resisted doing for ages. But now they grab their crotches without a second thought." —"New Zealand's Hip Op-eration Crew Kicks It Really, Really Old Skool"


Channing Tatum Causes Reflection On The Rapid Approach Of Death

It really has been The Year of Channing Tatum, hasn't it? Remember when he did that interview with the hungover guy? Also, this is where I might as well confess that at least 50% of the time I refer to him as Tatum Channing—not that I refer to him a lot, but when I do I am likely to get his name reversed, mostly because I am finally, irrevocably old and I don't retain things anymore. Like, the guy who played Bane in the Batman movie? Couldn't tell you his name without looking him up, although I hear he is hot behind the mask and somehow everyone [...]


Happy Grandmas Use Facebook

The Internet will keep you from being depressed, but you have to be old.


Penguin Briefly Distracts Old People From The Ever-Present Awareness Of Impending Death

Hahaha, it looks like he's wearing a tuxedo!


Cake Old

Is this the world's oldest Christmas pudding? Sure, why the hell not.


Expect To Hear From Your Grandma About How They Messed Up Her Email Soon

"AOL’s email service has become associated with people somewhat out of touch with present-day tech companies. Why would someone have an account when we have GMail and iCloud? [AOL CEO Tim] Armstrong was also asked what he planned to do about that brand perception at the UBS conference yesterday. 'I would [pause] that issue is a brand issue and it is a product issue,' Armstrong responded. 'Rehabbing the AOL brand and the AOL products is a very, very important project at the company, and it has my full attention,' [...]


Ineffable Sadness Of American Existence Encapsulated In Fast Food Promotion

I was doing alright this morning and then whammo. (Here's how last year's celebration was explained.)


Knowing You Are Closer To Death Makes You Happy

"Happiness, Satisfaction with Life Generally Increase with Age"


Exercise Is For Old People

"Stepping up exercise levels in your 50s is likely to cut your chances of suffering a heart attack in later life. Only two-and-a-half hours of moderate activity a week appears to suppress inflammation in the body which is believed to contribute to heart disease, a long-term study has found. It means that, even for the middle aged who have been inspired by the exploits of athletes during the Olympics, it is never too late to exercise and change their future health for the better." —More importantly, it means you don't need to do any of that crap right now. Relax! Have a couple of drinks. Want a burger [...]


Old People Snatching Up The Few Things They Don't Already Have

"Baby Boomers are starting companies at a faster pace than ever before, according to a March report by the Kauffman Foundation and younger workers lack the disposable income and job prospects they once had. This means we may be witnessing a passing of the innovation baton to members of the older generation. As older Americans begin to define the debate around innovation, then the generation gap will soon make its presence felt in innovation hubs like Silicon Valley."


Why You're Happier When You're Older

"A study has revealed that the older people get, the more positive they become," presumably because they realize it's all going to be over soon enough.


You Are Not Getting Any Younger

Ladies, hurry up and freeze those eggs before it is too late or you will never have that baby that you want so badly but are too busy with your "career" to have right now. What's your deadline? Well, if you're under 30, GO GET THOSE THINGS FROZEN NOW. Otherwise, you may have missed the boat.


You Don't Stop Being British Just Because You're Old

"More than half a million people have been hospitalised in the past three years because of drink or drugs, with those in their 40s behind a surge in cases that is putting a strain on the NHS, official figures reveal. A total of 533,302 people in England have been admitted to hospital as an emergency since 2010 with serious health problems related to their consumption of alcohol or illicit substances. The vast majority were admissions for conditions specifically related to alcohol abuse, such as liver problems. Of those, 60,738 were aged 40 to 44 and another 60,083 were 45 to 49 – together, more than a fifth of the total. [...]


Baby Boomers Decide To Ruin One Last Thing Before They Die

"Greenwich Village in downtown Manhattan used to be the definition of young and hip. But the village, and much of New York City, is seeing a demographic shift: An influx of baby boomers, like 69-year-old Jacqueline Carhartt, are seeking the urban life."


The Only Way Left To Be Radical In America

I like to plan ahead, so by the time I turned 30 earlier this year, I was already preparing for old age. I have a problem with rounding up, is the thing. When I was 27, I’d read about a 39 year old who went bankrupt, or a 45 year old who had a hard time conceiving, and think, Well, I’m practically 45, so I should probably start inuring myself to the hard truths life has in store for me.

I understand that this is ridiculous. I’m not old; I’m older. And of course “old” doesn’t necessarily mean what it used to. My parents are getting oldish (sorry, Mom)—enough [...]


Old People Inscrutable, Wrinkly

"A new study suggests that younger people may make more mistakes when judging the emotions of older folks. To younger adults, age-related changes, such as wrinkles and folds, look like facial expressions, so they may interfere with the perception of emotion in an older face and perhaps convey the wrong message."


Old People Smell: The Scientific Truth

"When psychologist Johan Lundstrom decided to test whether there really was an 'old people smell' he got good news and bad news. Unfortunately, he found, people can tell the difference between young, middle-aged and old peoples’ body odors. The good news is people aren’t very good at telling which odors came from which age group – they could only tell they were different. Also in the bright side: women smell no worse as they age and men get nicer smelling after 75. "


Rick Perry Too Pretty To Be That Stupid

Would more people cut Rick Perry some slack if they realized that the dude is kind of old? Sure, why the hell not.