Hahaha, it looks like he's wearing a tuxedo!

Is this the world's oldest Christmas pudding? Sure, why the hell not.

The dining demographics at the Charlie Mom Chinese restaurant in the Village: "Who comes here?, I asked my waiter. 'Old man. Old woman,' he said with halting English and stunning frankness."

"Because of an editing error, an article on Oct. 19 about people who have reached or are nearing their 100th birthday misstated the number of presidencies they have lived through. It is 18 (Taft through Obama), not 19." But if they can just hold out for another two years…

What's that, Science? You want to tell us something about old people? Well, go right ahead! "Older people like reading negative news stories about their younger counterparts because it boosts their own self-esteem, according to a new study. German researchers said older people tend to be portrayed negatively in society. Although they are often described as wise, they are also be shown as being slow and forgetful. 'Living in a youth centered culture, they may appreciate a boost in self-esteem. That's why they prefer the negative stories about younger people, who are seen as having a higher status in our society,' said Dr. Silvia Knobloch-Westerwick, of Ohio State University." [...]

Science, talk to me about old people. Specifically, why are they always telling you the same story over and over? Well, for one thing, they have lousy memories. Also: "'Older adults are additionally highly confident, compared to younger adults, that they have never told people particular things when they actually had,' study co-author Nigel Gopie, a cognitive scientist at the Rotman Research Institute in Toronto, said in a statement. 'This over-confidence presumably causes older adults to repeat information to people.'" Makes sense!

It turns out that even old people can get AIDS.

"A study has revealed that the older people get, the more positive they become," presumably because they realize it's all going to be over soon enough.

Ladies, hurry up and freeze those eggs before it is too late or you will never have that baby that you want so badly but are too busy with your "career" to have right now. What's your deadline? Well, if you're under 30, GO GET THOSE THINGS FROZEN NOW. Otherwise, you may have missed the boat.

Is this the world's oldest cat? Uh, sure, why the hell not?

Finally, a solution for our old people problem! Inventors are creating new and exciting robots that we can use to keep our elderly occupied during their slow limp towards death. No longer will we be forced to bear the financial burdens of in-home nurses or, God forbid, actually have to spend time with them ourselves. Now we can give them a tic-tac-toe-playing machine and go live our young, exciting lives! This truly is a blessing of technology. (This is mostly unrelated, but while I have you: You ever notice how when you're forced to talk to an old person they always try to touch your hand and shit? How [...]

There's a good reason for why your grandma keeps telling you about the terrible experience she had with the checkout lady at the grocery store who wouldn't take her coupon and so she had to call the manager, etc. Your grandma doesn't remember that she told you already. In fact, no old people do! But there's more! Take it away, Science! "'Older adults are additionally highly confident, compared to younger adults, that they have never told people particular things when they actually had,' study co-author Nigel Gopie, a cognitive scientist at the Rotman Research Institute in Toronto, said in a statement. 'This over-confidence presumably causes older adults to repeat [...]

As a mostly disinterested observer I've found the overwhelming backlash against the new Sex and the City movie to be somewhat surprising. After all, it's not as if there's any radical departure from the series' formula that fans might find upsetting: The show always trafficked in the most grotesque stereotypes of shallow femininity; what made it so culturally noteworthy was the willingness of women to not only buy into its overt misogyny but embrace it. Even the show's greatest detractors would grudgingly admit an odd fascination with it. And yet we seem to have reached a moment where a growing number of former fans find themselves disgusted [...]

The folks at Old Jews Telling Jokes-find our favorite joke told by and old Jew here-have netted a print deal: "The book will feature hilarious, irreverent, and sometimes bawdy jokes told by 'old Jews' (both men and women, all over 60, including Ed Koch, Daniel Okrent, and Harry Macklowe), and the fascinating stories behind both the jokes and the tellers." There is also a DVD. I would say something using the Jew phrase for "congratulations," but I am too lazy to Google it right now.

Would more people cut Rick Perry some slack if they realized that the dude is kind of old? Sure, why the hell not.

1876, huh? That is one antiquated gherkin!

Until now I have been consoling myself with the idea that if I am somehow unsuccessful in my efforts to drink and smoke myself into an early grave, I will at least live out my dotage free from the burdens of desire. But Science just told me to go get fucked.

Let's hear it for a real hero and inspiration: "A CHAIN smoking pensioner has celebrated his 100th birthday despite puffing on nearly 300,000 cigarettes – and glugging a glass of whisky a day. Old soldier Arthur – who survived being blown up by a grenade in the Second World War – claims the key to his longevity is doing what everyone tells him not to." Many happy returns, you magnificent bastard!

You know how old people are always repeating stories that they've told you a hundred times already? Science has figured out why: they're both stubborn and forgetful. "'Older adults are additionally highly confident, compared to younger adults, that they have never told people particular things when they actually had,' study co-author Nigel Gopie, a cognitive scientist at the Rotman Research Institute in Toronto, said in a statement. 'This over-confidence presumably causes older adults to repeat information to people.'" Now you know!

"The kids are grown, they're out of school, you've got time on your hands and frankly it's a time when you can really enjoy marijuana. Food tastes better, music sounds better, sex is more enjoyable." -Marijuana advocate Keith Stroup on the growing number of those aged 50 or older who admit to using the drug. However, Dr. William Dale, chief of geriatrics and palliative medicine at the University of Chicago Medical Center, cautions that the elderly need to be careful that they don't get dizzy and take a fall, because once you break a hip at that age it's a pretty swift procession to the boneyard. [Via]