How can you not drink in January when drinking is the only thing that makes January bearable?
John Ore: Oh, Jolie! I just had the strangest dream! And you were there and everyone here and…Kurt Loder?…And I remember that some of it wasn't very nice… but most of it was beautiful. But just the same, all I kept saying to everybody was, I want to go home. And they sent me home.
Jolie Kerr: Well you know what they say—there's no place like etc.! So hey, old friend, it feels like it's been years. Where ya been? How ya been? (Oh God, my head hurts so badly.)
John: Oh, you know, the usual: celebrating my wife's birthday with drinks at the Waldorf, celebrating [...]
John Ore: Hey Jolie, welcome to our second installment of Ask A Temporarily Sober Person! Wasn’t the moon beautiful this weekend?
Jolie Kerr: You know? Usually I don’t support the anti-moon agenda put forth by this’n here website, but I do think it was awfully cruel of the universe to deliver unto us a full moon in convergence with our first full weekend of Drynuary, so I’ll bellow a hearty I DESPISE YOU, MOON in solidarity with our Alcoholic Overlords.
Right then, with that out of the way, we’ve just made it through our first, and arguably most challenging, sober weekend. Last week you said something [...]
A series on actually good nonalcoholic drinks to serve abstaining friends or make for yourself.
I'm really boring in January. Oh, sure, in the Fall I can invent fun drinks, but come Drynuary, I hibernate with club soda and lime and my Bible. That all changed when I discovered sorrel. No, the other one. If you recall, last year, I discovered Sorel, a delicious hibiscus liqueur. Little did I know that there’s also a native Caribbean concoction known as sorrel drink, popular in places like Jamaica and Grenada.
John Ore: Hey, Jolie! We're in the home stretch now, only a couple of days to go and we can close the books on another successful January of not drinking. A little solidarity and we can get through this final weekend.
Jolie Kerr: HA HA, SUCKER YOU FORGOT: I GET TO DRINK TONIGHT. WOOO!
John: [long, unblinking stare] You know I'm happy for you. I really am. Like when Andy Dufresne busted out of Shawshank. You're happy for him, you miss him, and you hope to join him one day. But you're also a little scared for him out there, facing the world alone. You don't want him to end [...]
Jolie Kerr: Bon L’(h)iver, John! I’ve actually been looking forward to this Drynuary! I know, I’m as surprised as you are! But it’s because, unlike last year, I don’t see this month as a desperate attempt to dry out… despite the fact that December basically looked like the picture above, taken by you, at a certain holiday party.
This go-round, my attitude is that this is an opportunity and that feels pretty cool and exciting. When we last chatted, I mentioned that 2011 had started out as a teenaged butthole of a year, and it sort of ended that way too. But! There were some awesome [...]
"So what’s not to like about a dry January? Surely a lengthy period of abstinence after a few weeks of indulgence is good for your health? Well, I’m afraid it’s all poppycock. As a doctor, you might expect me to give the concept my total backing, but I’m afraid you’d be wrong." —This guy says taking a month off of drinking actually does more harm than good, which is advice I can get behind right up to the part where he counsels moderation instead.
Jolie Kerr: Merry Everythingisterriblenuary, John! Three weeks in. Are you as despondent as I am?
John Ore: It's the Doldrums of Drynuary. Adrift in the middle of the month, coping mechanisms running low, no land in sight, wind out of your sails. Brings up all sorts of existential questions. Also, I keep seeing an albatross for some reason.
Jolie: Week Three is basically the March of Drynuary. Oh but! Speaking of coping mechanisms, I have a question for you: why do I feel like bringing O'Doul's to a party is cheating? Rationally I know it's not, but I feel like it is? #feeeeelings
John: (My birthday is in March, so [...]
Each new year, many Americans decide to turn over a new leaf. Gym memberships explode; diets are undertaken. The Whole Foods lays out the maple syrup and cayenne pepper, so a "master cleanse" can be undertaken. (Ugh.) Twelve-step programs and yoga centers see a surge in new members. And others embrace Drynuary: a month without alcohol. Here, midway through the month, two people assess what 19 days without booze has meant to them—with 12 more to go.
John Ore: So, Jolie, how's your Drynuary going so far?
Jolie Kerr: Well! By which I mean NOT AT ALL WELL. Sobriety is excruciating. Why are we doing this?
John: THINK [...]