Tom Junod, noted potential fucker of hot forty-two-year-old women, on the American pit bull crisis: Every year, American shelters have to kill about 1.2 million dogs. But both pro- and anti-pit-bull organizations estimate that of these, anywhere from 800,000 to nearly 1 million are pit bulls. We kill anywhere from 2,000 to 3,000 pit bulls a day. They are rising simultaneously in popularity and disposability, becoming something truly American, a popular dog forever poised on the brink of extermination.
"Vets in Australia saved a dog from certain death — by getting him drunk in a 48 hour vodka binge."
Enough about how technology is changing us, for now. It’s the end of the calendar year, and we’re consumed with the attendant complicated feelings of the holiday season, as well as settling accounts before the 13 changes to 14. And in that tally of the year soon to lapse, we look back. We remember. We write year-end reviews.
One opportunity that talked-to-death technology has afforded us, in ways that our parents never experienced, is the peculiar phenomenon of surreptitiously consuming Internet content while at one’s place of employment, and then being emotionally moved to the point of perhaps betraying the fact that one is not reviewing a spreadsheet [...]
"Feces in the sandbox, barking all night, the fear of being bitten: There are many reasons not to like dogs. Now one journalist from Hamburg is trying to raise money to launch a magazine to finally give dog haters a voice."
"A Montana man who pieced together the remnants of five $100 bills eaten by his one-eyed dog last year is sporting a $500 check he says he received this week from the U.S. Department of the Treasury to replace the digested funds."
Dogs are eating as well, if not better, than many humans are, observes a woman who takes inspiration from one of the world's finest websites.
Dogs have been nothing but kind to man. In return, man has bred dogs in such thoroughly impractical ways that they cannot easily survive without us. We have left our pets in a terrible post-cataclysm position! Cats that don't go outside, dogs that must be "walked." Horrible. Here is a short film imagining how, in death, we might earn our dogs' forgiveness.
While Kentucky's courts (maybe) legalize same-sex marriage, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has vetoed Senate Bill 1062. That bill would have amended Arizona's 1993 Religious Freedom Restoration Act to give anyone an exemption from any state law that interferes with their free exercise of religion. Like Arizona, Kansas recently killed a similar bill. Georgia, Tennessee and South Dakota (especially South Dakota!) have dosey-doed with the similar laws. (Meanwhile, the media has been calling these "Gay Jim Crow," laws which has to make the already terrible daily existence of anyone named James Crow even more unbearable.)
But has anyone in these states thought about how they're going to get a [...]
In the flatlands between Mill Basin and Marine Park, just before the avenue arrives at the golf course and Jamaica Bay, you’ll find VERG South, an emergency hospital for pets. Inside is a dog, which isn’t very surprising, this being a place for treating dogs and cats. Only this dog is famous.
The dog came to VERG—that's Veterinary Emergency and Referral Group—in a roundabout way. First the dog arrived at a vaccine clinic, probably hosted at a PetCo; the story is fuzzy at the beginning. One thing is certain, and terrible: the dog had owners. They brought him to get shots, which they thought might cure him. He was [...]
The Paratrooper Was A Dog. A Dog Paratrooper. And You'll Never Believe What He Did. (He Paratrooped.)
"Brian was a tough paratrooper. He trained hard for his deployment with the British Army during . During his training, he learned how to identify minefields. Then, on the battlefield, he protected his comrades-in-arms — though not all of them made it back. On D-Day, he parachuted under heavy anti-aircraft fire onto the Continent. He was there when the Allies liberated Normandy. A few months before the war's end, he parachuted into western Germany, from where he marched to the Baltic Sea. Less than two years after the war, Brian was given an award to recognize his 'conspicuous gallantry.' But the bronze medal was not the only thing that distinguished [...]
"Canines with a love for the ocean and their human companions were treated to a day of doggy surfing fun with the fifth annual Surf City Surf Dog competition in Huntington Beach on Sunday. Pooches were able to 'hang paws' over surfboards while cheered on by crowds of animal lovers, and were also given the chance to strut their stuff in a variety of other doggone fun activities and contests throughout the weekend event." —Hey, I don't write it. Although it seems like it would be a much more pleasant thing to focus on writing given rather than all the other options these days.
"A couple of years ago, Anna Jane Grossman read a spoof article on the website The Awl about a teenage girl who was building up her resume for college applications and was struck by one detail; among the descriptions of organic ibex farming and studying Chinese, the high school student was teaching her dog how to use an iPad. 'It was not real. But I was like, "Oh, I can teach my dog how to use the iPad!"' Grossman, who had recently left journalism to pursue dog [...]
“Dogs are better! Look at Toliver! He’s great, except he snores a lot. He even has his own Instagram. A dog is easier to transport than a child. It’s less final than having a child.” —"More young women choosing dogs over motherhood"
"The next time you start shaking your finger and shouting 'Shame on you!' because your dog chewed up your favorite fuzzy slippers, just remember that no matter how guilty your dog looks, it doesn't know what your rant is about. Behaviorists insist dogs lack shame. The guilty look — head cowered, ears back, eyes droopy — is a reaction to the tantrum you are throwing now over the damage they did hours earlier."
"Rangel called Sky 'the little perfect dog' who always seems to know what to do in a show ring. 'You put the lead on her, she puts the tail up.' With a laugh, he added, 'You put food in your pocket, and she’s like, "What do you want me to do?"’ He was as effusive in praising Sky as he was four years ago for Sadie. 'We love her,' he said. 'She knows she did something good. She’s a princess dog.'" —Westminster is, generally speaking, bad for dogs, as it encourages inbreeding, the dominance of "purebred" dogs, and impractical or downright dangerous physical traits, like brachycephalism (a flat face, [...]
"An earlier version of this post contained a quotation attributed to Lenin ('Socialized medicine is the keystone to the arch of the socialist state') that has been widely disputed. And it included a quotation attributed to Churchill ('Control your citizens’ health care and you control your citizens') that the Journal has been unable to confirm. Also, the cover of a Maclean’s magazine issue in 2008 showed a picture of a dog on an examining table with the headline 'Your Dog Can Get Better Health Care Than You.' An earlier version of this post incorrectly said the photo showed and [...]
"Story of brave dog that extinguished Nazi incendiary bomb during Blitz by urinating on it is uncovered after bravery medal awarded to the animal is discovered," is a sentence that appeared in a newspaper today.