Wednesday - March 17, 2010

Public Apology: Dear Deb  @4:20 PM

Dear Deb,

Sorry for making you take all those water-logged maxi pads and tampons off my car. READ MORE 16

Wednesday - March 10, 2010

Public Apology: Dear Emily  @4:20 PM

Dear Emily,

I’m sorry for wearing sweat pants to our first dinner date and for getting stoned before meeting your parents for the first time. READ MORE 32

Tuesday - March 2, 2010

Public Apology: Dear Residents Of Hudson Street Between Morton and Barrow Streets  @4:30 PM

Dear residents of Hudson Street between Morton and Barrow Streets,

I’m sorry for shouting out my window at that old lady who used to tie her dog up outside Famiglia’s pizza shop. And for my lack of creativity. READ MORE 13

Monday - February 22, 2010

Dave Bry explains one more reason not to have children: childbirth is the number one indicator of an adult onset of fear of flying. @11:40 AM 13

Wednesday - February 17, 2010

Public Apology: Dear Owner of the White House At the Corner of Northvale and Southvale Avenues in Little Silver, New Jersey  @4:20 PM

Dear owner of the white house at the corner of Northvale and Southvale Avenues in Little Silver, New Jersey,

I’m sorry for throwing rocks at your house. READ MORE 14

Thursday - February 11, 2010

Public Apology: The Collected Short Films  @4:20 PM

Tim Sutton and Seth Bomse make films for a living and now they've made three short ones based on installments of the Public Apology column here at The Awl. Author Dave Bry feels awkward about them and won't watch—but the rest of us have, and we dig it. READ MORE 23

Tuesday - January 5, 2010

Public Apology: Dear Riders of The Powell-Mason Cable Car Line in San Francisco, Late Summer 1991  @4:30 PM

Dear riders of the Powell-Mason cable car line in San Francisco, late summer 1991,

Sorry for flashing you. READ MORE 27

Tuesday - December 15, 2009

On Waking Up As A Statistic  @10:00 AM

My kid, who just turned five, wakes up before me every morning and plays in his room. I hear him talking through my half-sleep, spooling out imaginary dialogue between his Ben 10 action figures, mostly about who will defeat who, who has stronger magical powers or superior fire power. This morning, though, amidst the usual, I heard something different.

"Oh, you lost your jobs?" he said, in a deep monster voice. "I'm sorry." READ MORE 25

Thursday - December 3, 2009
Thursday - November 19, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Everlast From House Of Pain  @4:20 PM

Dear Everlast from House of Pain,

I'm sorry for calling you a "Leprechaun of Rage." READ MORE 26

Wednesday - November 11, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Rory's Parents  @4:30 PM

Dear Rory's parents,

I'm sorry if I conjured up a very disturbing image for you at Jack's birthday party.

It was about this time last year, I think, that we found ourselves talking by the bowl of ranch-dressing dip. Jack was turning four. I was there because my kid was in Jack's preschool class. You're friends with Jack's parents, I believe. One of you works with one of them, maybe? Anyway, you have a son who was at the party, too. Rory. READ MORE 17

Thursday - September 10, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Peter Arbour  @3:32 PM

Dear Peter Arbour,

I'm sorry for trying to make you worship my Jim Morrison poster. READ MORE 12

Wednesday - August 26, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Visiting Music History Professor  @3:34 PM

Dear visiting music professor who taught History of Jazz at Connecticut College spring semester 1990:

I'm sorry for comparing Miles Davis' Kind of Blue to Bob Seger's "Turn the Page." READ MORE 7

Friday - August 14, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Guy In A Brown Corduroy Jacket  @3:00 PM

Dear guy in a brown corduroy jacket,

I'm sorry for stealing $40 from your checking account at the ATM in the HSBC Bank on Union Square East. READ MORE 8

Wednesday - August 5, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Nick  @4:50 PM

Dear Nick,

I'm sorry I ate your carrot cake.

We were at college, and living off campus in the house on Bragaw Street. You had bought the cake earlier that day, when we'd all gone to Super Stop n' Shop for groceries. You'd paid for it separately and left it in the fridge while you went to an afternoon class. But our roommate Scott and I didn't have afternoon classes that day. Or if we did, we decided to skip them and stay home and smoke pot instead. Whatever the case, we stayed home while you were out and smoked pot. I got hungry, on account of the pot smoking, and went to the fridge, where I found the piece of carrot cake wrapped in cellophane. I knew it was yours. I knew you were saving it to eat later. I don't even like carrot cake that much. Still, it looked good, with that thick layer of cream-cheese frosting on top, and self-discipline was not a strong suit of mine. I decided to have just one little piece. Then I ate the whole thing. It was delicious. READ MORE 26

Thursday - July 23, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Julia Neaman  @4:45 PM

Dear Julia Neaman,

I'm sorry for accusing you of conspiring against me when I was on hallucinogenic mushrooms. READ MORE 9

Friday - July 17, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Brown-Haired Woman  @2:30 PM

Dear brown-haired woman,

I'm sorry for bothering you while we were watching Stand By Me at the movie theater on White Street in Red Bank, New Jersey. READ MORE 18

Thursday - July 9, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Lexis/Nexis Onsite Training Executive  @12:00 PM

Dear Lexis/Nexis onsite training executive,

I'm sorry you had to learn my secret password. READ MORE 9

Tuesday - June 23, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Bob Mould  @2:40 PM

Dear Bob Mould,

I'm sorry for ruining your solo acoustic concert. READ MORE 9

Tuesday - June 9, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Black Sabbath  @2:30 PM


Dear Black Sabbath,

I'm sorry I didn't vote for you in the "favorite band" poll Betsy Schroeder conducted for a science project when we were in seventh grade. After the initial round of questionnaires were filled out and tallied, you guys were tied for the lead with Men at Work. Somehow, stupidly, in the run-off, I voted for Men at Work. In fact (and I cringe at the memory) I joined Nicole Seitz and actually campaigned for Men at Work. Against you. READ MORE 6

Friday - June 5, 2009

Public Apology: Dear 70-Year-Old Man In A Leg Brace  @10:48 AM

Dear 70-year-old man in a leg brace,

I'm sorry for not being able to change a tire on my own car. READ MORE 12

Wednesday - May 20, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Step-Nephew  @12:45 PM

Dear step-nephew,

I'm sorry for telling you to suck my dick at Thanksgiving three years ago. READ MORE 15

Tuesday - May 12, 2009

Public Apology: Dear President Clinton  @4:40 PM

Dear President Clinton,

I'm sorry I wrote that thing about you on the bulletin board at Bob Kerrey's campaign headquarters during the New Hampshire primary in 1992. READ MORE 10

Thursday - April 30, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Girl From California  @4:47 PM

Our friend Dave Bry has so very many regrets. Some of them are about girls, like this particular pang-worthy bit of remorse. READ MORE 19

Monday - April 27, 2009

Public Apology: Dear Robert Sean Leonard  @4:00 PM

Our friend Dave Bry has many regrets. This week, an easy mistake, carelessly made years ago, still brings that flushed-face feeling of shame—and demands an apology. READ MORE 4