Posts Tagged: Chris Brown
4

Los Angeles Police Insatiable For Evidence Regarding The Chris Brown-Frank Ocean Fight

"R&B singer Frank Ocean intends to press charges against bully boy Chris Brown for punching him and starting an all-out brawl outside Westlake Studios in West Hollywood on Sunday night. Police want to talk to Brown, who is still on probation for beating up Rihanna on the eve of the 2009 Grammy Awards. Ocean, who publically came out in July as a bisexual, is 'desirous of prosecution,' L.A. Sheriff’s Office spokesman Steve Whitmore told The Post. 'We’ll find out what happened.'" —Two new trends: 1) R&B singers using their fists like street thugs. 2) Police officers using their words like R&B singers.

2

Nicki Minaj Featuring Chris Brown, "Right By My Side"

In the new Nicki Minaj video, Nicki is apparently involved in a love triangle with Nas, who buys her a car, and Chris Brown, who wears a jacket that looks like it's made out of boxer shorts. She's kissing Nas at the end, and it's like, "Phew, good choice!" But then there's a full moon and Nicki looks over Nas's shoulder and makes a crazy face into the camera like she's going to turn into a werewolf or a vampire or something like Michael Jackson in "Thriller" and then you wish she had chosen Chris Brown.

23

You Say Hipster R&B, I Say Nappy-Headed Pop. Either Way, It's Offensive.

Two new projects are sparking a lot of discussion right now about the current state of R&B. The first is by The Weeknd, a mysterious singer (or group?) who has enjoyed a quick rise to critical-darling status since releasing the free debut album House of Balloons last week. The second is by Frank Ocean, the lone singer in Rap Group of the Moment, Odd Future. Ocean's album, nostalgia,Ultra, also excellent, also free, came out mere weeks before The Weeknd's project, so the two acts are getting joined together as poster children for what's being called a new wave of R&B. The terms being thrown around to describe this new [...]

10

Horrible 2009 Was the Year of Chris Brown

I've been thinking a bunch about what we'll remember 2009 for, besides rampant unemployment and two great flu panics. Mostly that is what I'll remember, but I'll also think of it as the year that the nation became obsessed with jerks and woman-beaters. That Levi Johnston, Jon Gosselin and Chris Brown were pretty much the three most popular "stories" of 2009 is amazing, particularly since those first two haven't ever done or said anything. That all have spent the year pushing new products in the midst of their tabloid scandals is pretty telling. I don't even know what Gosselin or Johnston are selling, besides their brand-but Chris Brown's new album [...]

27

Random Chris Brown Wedding Video Makes Him The Luckiest Person Alive

It was disgusting when a car commercial sold two million albums for Sting. It was really very cool when a different car commercial introduced the music of the late Nick Drake to way more people than had ever heard of him when he was alive. But the Chris Brown wedding video tearing up the Internet looks to be the most surreal route to a career comeback since… umm, Flavor of Love.

6

Rihanna Just Like Helen Of Troy, Says Lawyer

“She’s been known, like Helen of Troy, to cause trouble." —That's NBA star Tony Parker's lawyer, David Jaroslawicz, saying that ridiculous thing about Rihanna as he filed a $20 million lawsuit against Manhattan Club W.I.P. for letting Drake and Chris Brown inside at the same time, when, Jaroslawicz says, had the owners been reading Bossip like they should have been, they would have known that Drake and Brown are rivals for the affection of Rihanna, so that there was a strong chance that a brawl would erupt when Chris Brown sent Drake's table a bottle of champagne that was actually filled with Greek soldiers. Parker got a piece [...]

5

No One Seems To Be In A Very Forgiving Mood This Ash Wednesday

Well, thanks to a heads-up from CNN food writer Kat Kinsman, I was spared the annual confusion that lasts for a couple of city blocks as you walk past person after person who has apparently been very sloppy with their application of mascara, or has been hit in the forehead by a thrown lump of coal. Today is Ash Wednesday, when Catholics wear ash on their foreheads in commemoration of the forty days of fasting that preceded his crucification. It's an act of repentance.

But, man, reading through today's news, or looking elsewhere on the streets, people may be repenting, but they don't seem to be in [...]

2

"Look At Me Now" And Five Other Good Rap Songs From This Week

The venerable Busta Rhymes shows us what people mean when they talk about an MC "blacking out" on a track. He rhymes so fast, enunciates so clearly, without pausing to take a breath, you'd think he'd lose consciousness. In so doing, he steals this song—with it's huge and spacious beat, which was produced by club music maestro Diplo and sounds like it will explode dance floors like the Yin Tang Twins "Wait (The Whisper Song)" did six years ago—from proprietor Chris Brown and fellow guest star Lil Wayne both.

Here are a bunch of other good rap songs that came out this week.

28

Chris Brown Defends His Pants

Here is the cover for Chris Brown's new album, Graffiti. Needless to say, it has been subject to much ridicule. Here is what Chris Brown himself says on the Twitter. (My favorite part is the lower-case second sentence.)

9

Penisless Spiders, Hip-hop Artists Fight Over Women

"The eunuch males are better fighters because they are lighter and they have an increased endurance. They try to prevent the other males from mating with the female." —National University of Singapore arachnologist Daiqin Li discusses his findings that male spiders castrate themselves after sex with females in order to better fight off rival suiters. This contradicts the recent findings of Matjaz Kuntner of the Slovenian Academy of Sciences. (And makes me a little worried about the lengths the two competing professors might go to in defense of their theories.) Also, last night at the Manhattan Club The Greenhouse, Chris Brown sent a bottle of champagne to [...]

6

Don't Talk Smack About Jennifer Hudson

"Woman-beating rage-broccoli Chris Brown lip-synced his single 'Turn Up The Music' (without being threatened by Sir Elton John) and danced roughly as well as a third-rate Chicago footwork dancer. He ended his performance by back-flipping off the stage, though sadly not off the earth." —Good riddance to bad garbage. We will largely sign on to this take on last night's Grammys, although casting Jennifer Hudson's rendition of "I Will Always Love You" as "technically adequate," Sasha Frere-Jones, is a full-on LIE and not at all okay. Also congratulations go to Grammy winner Betty White—beating out Tina Fey… and Val Kilmer. Who knew.

5

Robots Taking Over Sooner Than Expected–They Got Janet, Too!

I'm starting to think that the singularity has already occurred and I just didn't notice it up to this point. Apparently, computer intelligence has already gotten more advanced that the human brain and figured out how to fuse itself with human cell tissue and that the robots are already reprogramming themselves and re-enhancing themselves and regenerating themselves-into today's leading hip-hop and R&B stars.

10

Chris Brown On Larry King: What You May Have Missed

Last night singer Chris Brown-who recently received five years of probation after entering a guilty plea for assaulting his girlfriend Rihanna-appeared on "Larry King Live" in an attempt to rehabilitate his image and perhaps explain what caused such reprehensible acts. As someone who does not believe that domestic violence is any more glamorous or noteworthy when it is perpetrated by or on celebrities, I have only a cursory awareness of the story, and did not tune in. But Awl Director of Business Development/SEO Coordinator David Cho has been following the case since it began, and was eager to explain it to me. If you're also curious as to what [...]