Posts Tagged: Cancer
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Why Do Our Elected Officials Love Cancer?

Do you want to care about something boring and dull but important? Sure you do! While the budget is being hammered out for our fine country's 2011 fiscal year, so far the House has suggested they'd be happy cutting $1.6 billion from the National Institutes of Health. What's that you say? We pay money from our taxes to go to health research? How disgusting! But it turns out that when legislators actually know what the NIH does, they want to give it more money, not less. Also? Unlike much of the government, the NIH makes money [PDF] for America. Through science! While they are, you know, curing [...]

7

Britons Need To Worry More About Knives

The charity Cancer Research UK surveyed 2000 Britons about their fears, and found some surprising results.

When asked to choose what they feared most from a list including developing Alzheimer’s, being in debt, old age, being the victim of knife crime, cancer, being in a plane crash, motor neurone disease, being in a car accident, having a heart attack, losing your job and losing your home – more people (20 per cent) overall chose cancer than anything else.

3

A Model In How To Apologize

My first reaction upon seeing this Gizmodo post that a computer-nerd friend sent me was: that other computer nerd at Gizmodo is totally biting my style! Apologizing to people is my schtick! But it's very touching and has nothing to do with me (as shocking as that may that seem) and is exactly the right thing to do when you discover that you've made a terrible mistake. Seriously. It's great. Everyone else should read it, too. "I Am Very Sorry, Segway Stroller Lady," it's called. It begins, "You might remember this post three years ago in which I laughed at a woman on a Segway pushing [...]

9

Cancer Hates Lonely People

A study published by the Indiana University School of Medicine found that people separated from their spouses have the lowest life expectancy of all cancer patients. "Sixty-five percent of married patients survived at least five years after a cancer diagnosis, compared with 57 percent of those who had never been married, 52 percent of the divorced patients and 47 percent of widowed patients. But only 45 percent of patients who were separated at the time of diagnosis survived five years." Thus, it can be concluded that cancer hates people in an order: separated, singles, the divorced, and then the widowed. Which makes sense, because this is the order in [...]

13

Bad News For Mouth Action Fans

I really don't want to share this with you, but I guess I probably have to: "There's a worrisome uptick in the incidence of certain head and neck cancers among middle-aged and even younger Americans, and some experts link the trend to a rise in the popularity of oral sex over the past few decades." Please don't let this news affect your positive feelings about blowjobs. I'm sure they're working on a cure right now.

5

New Medical Use For Jellyfish May Yield Awesome Sci-Fi Movie

"Cancers deep within the body are difficult to spot at an early stage, and early diagnosis is critical for the successful treatment of any form of cancer. What we have developed is a process which involves inserting proteins derived from luminous jellyfish cells into human cancer cells. Then, when we illuminate the tissue, a special camera detects these proteins as they light up, indicating where the tumours are." —Professor Norman Maitland and his team at Yorkshire Cancer Research Laboratory at York University have made what seems to be an amazing and important breakthrough in the fight against cancer. Hopefully, inserting jellyfish cells into human beings will not cause human [...]

8

Today In "Heartbreaking And Inspirational"

Via Fark, there's this: No one has ever told 7-year-old Dominic Osorio that he has brain cancer. Instead, his mother devised a story and made him the lead character. When Dominic undergoes surgery, chemotherapy or radiation, he is not a patient; he is the Dominator, waging war with an evil enemy that he calls a megazoid.

His grandmother, Monique Spagna, recalled the day Dominic finished weeks of daily radiation treatments at Johns Hopkins Children's Center that required the Bel Air boy to wear a mask and remain motionless for what seemed an eternity to a child.

"He could not move, so he would change identities and be the Dominator [...]

1

Cardinal Egan To Heft Serious Wood This Weekend

"To miss Holy Thursday and Good Friday would be a heavy cross to bear," said still-undead Cardinal Egan, who will preach this weekend in New York City and who also apparently doesn't mind an outrageous pun.

5

Taj the Elephant Painted a Picture for a Woman Dying of Cancer

Remember, Taj, the oldest elephant in America, who died this week? (I hope you do, it was like 48 hours ago.) Remember that she liked to paint? Well, five-and-a-half years ago, her caretakers at Six Flags Marine World had her paint a picture for a woman named Lindsey who had pancreatic cancer. A month later, Lindsey died. She was 26.

20

Your Muffin Top Will Give You Butt Cancer

That gut you've got may be adorable and fun to grab hold of, but it's going to kill you, says Science.

Every extra inch on your waistline raises the odds of bowel cancer even if the rest of your body is trim, doctors have warned. The dangers of a pot belly or 'muffin top' were highlighted by a large-scale review of studies into Britain's second biggest cancer killer. Crucially for the millions battling to contain middle-age spread, it found that you don't need to be overweight for a generous waistline to cause problems.

Even worse, almost everything that's fun to eat, "including bacon, ham, pastrami, salami and [...]

15

Samsung Cell Phones Will Kill You Least Fast

The Environmental Working Group, which is totally a real place and not like when you tell people you're an "architect," checked out the radiation levels of over a 1,000 cell phone models and confirmed what I've always suspected-Koreans are awesome and everyone should be grateful. SoKo company Samsung captured 1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th with LG nabbing 8th place for lowest radiation emission levels but I'm loathe to report the Motorola RAZR (hisssssss Japaneeeeese), that paragon of canny design that ensures thick layers of face sebum be all up on as much surface area as possible at all times while possessing the acoustics of two Siggi yogurt [...]

0

Three Rules

"There are three things I've learned in the past two weeks since my mother's CT scan came back with what we swore had to be a sneeze on the film." Three guidelines from Ainslee Drew regarding stressful times.