"You know how sometimes you come home after a few drinks and have a strange, overwhelming urge to clean everything?"

Part of a series: Two choices—which do you choose?

Ice cream is way more fun to eat in the summer, especially if you like to go to places where they serve it to you in a cup or cone, because it’s like, a very American Summer kinda activity, hitting the ice cream place for something cold and sweet and bad for you, and in the summer, more than the other seasonals, the mere act of Hey I’m Going To Get Some Ice Cream, or Hey Let’s Go Get Some Ice Cream becomes a Social and Cultural Event, because you are gonna go to a place where lotsa other Peoples [...]

Help me out here: What exactly is so cute about this baby panda? It looks like a freakish screaming rodent to me. Am I just being a dick? I don't get all the "awww."

Will the release of Halo 4 "keep dedicated players from voting"? Um, I hope so?

I know how cool we all like to play it because we’re so young and so beautiful and nothing bad will ever happen to us in our lives! Our youth and our beauty will protect us. But our grandparents were once young if maybe not quite as beautiful. Everything ends eventually, and at some point you may want to start hedging your bets and believing in a higher power, if only to get the goodies that comes along with the benefits of membership. I’d much rather spend the afterlife playing golf with President Coolidge and Charlotte Bronte than not-existing. Or burning in Hell with all the popes ever, for that [...]

There are all sorts of questions still surrounding the storm and its aftermath, and this is certainly not the most important query, but I still can't help wondering: How are people without power masturbating now?

Yes, this actually happened.