This is not the governor of New Jersey, who is apparently planning to talk all the way through 2016, but it is for sure more adorable so let's watch it instead.
"The trap with the yearling in it is being watched to see if other bears come looking for it. We have not been told what the plan is if that happens."
Hahahah, this bear walks through the gate LIKE HE WAS PEOPLE! PEOPLE! Below, bonus bear video for your midday Monday enjoyment.
Don't get me wrong, the bear does not give a good account of himself here, but the fact that we now measure the majesty of nature by the possibility that it might be "classic on YouTube" somehow speaks to what we've lost of wonder in this new age of technology. But yes, bad show, bear.
I know I say this to all the bears, but you, Florida bear who perched outside the chamber of horrors that is the dentist's office before deciding to disappear into the day, are my spirit animal. Go with God. [Via]
"Experts say bears know how to open unlocked car doors, so it’s best to lock your car and not leave anything 'smelly' inside." —This is probably good advice even if you live in a less bear-intensive area than Truckee, CA.
Terrible puns await all those who click on this story. Consider yourselves warned.
"Workers in a zoo in Wakamaya, Japan, nurture a tiny five-day-old polar bear cub after his mother stops caring for him" is the description, but "holy mother of fuck has there ever been anything more goddamn adorable if I could shit out my feelings they would be a diarrhea cascade of 'awwww' running down the inside of my leg right now seeing this amazing little polar bear baby video good lord HOW FUCKING CUTE IS THIS THING etc." is the only natural reaction. At least if you have a heart.
"Normally cubs purr when suckling which some think is to remind a hibernating mother bear that her cubs are 'content'. Some previously captive bears continue to do this throughout adulthood, like this one. Can be result of removal from mother at too young an age through hunting or a bear that has been confined to a small enclosure. This rescued bear only knows himself; why he does it."
"An elderly shepherd in Russia’s North Caucasus survived a bear attack by fighting off the animal with kicks and headbutts, local television reported. Yusuf Alchagirov, 80, also tried to stab the bear when the beast approached him in a raspberry field in Kabardino-Balkaria, but said the animal knocked his knife away. The ensuing tussle culminated in the bear, enraged by the headbutt, throwing Alchagirov off a cliff and walking away, the man said on the regional affiliate of VGTRK television."
Oh, man, these bears are tearing shit up, and I could not be feeling it more. DO YOUR THING, BEARS!
If you are anything like me you will find this video of polar bears practicing fight techniques to be completely transfixing for the ten minutes of its run time. If you are nothing like me your life is probably filled with a fairly regular routine of joy, satisfaction, peace and the highly-underrated ability to appreciate the moments of everyday happiness that occur spontaneously without ruining things by looking for their inevitable downside. And you'll probably still enjoy this video. How could you not, it's amazing.
How about we all make our escape now? Don't let them trick you with the peanut butter and fruit scam, they just want to throw you back in your cage. Roam free, you baby bears. And to all a good night.
Your Ovaries And Whatever It Is Men Have That Are The Equivalent Of Ovaries Will Explode When You See The Adorable Thing That These Bear Cubs Are Doing, Oh My God It's So Cute I Cannot Even Believe It
OMG these bear cubs are dancing. DANCING!