Posts Tagged: Bears

Bear-Suited Suspect Remains At Large

Terrible puns await all those who click on this story. Consider yourselves warned.


Polar Bear Baby Cute

"Workers in a zoo in Wakamaya, Japan, nurture a tiny five-day-old polar bear cub after his mother stops caring for him" is the description, but "holy mother of fuck has there ever been anything more goddamn adorable if I could shit out my feelings they would be a diarrhea cascade of 'awwww' running down the inside of my leg right now seeing this amazing little polar bear baby video good lord HOW FUCKING CUTE IS THIS THING etc." is the only natural reaction. At least if you have a heart.


Crosseyed Bear Sucks Thumb

"Normally cubs purr when suckling which some think is to remind a hibernating mother bear that her cubs are 'content'. Some previously captive bears continue to do this throughout adulthood, like this one. Can be result of removal from mother at too young an age through hunting or a bear that has been confined to a small enclosure. This rescued bear only knows himself; why he does it."


What Happens When You Headbutt A Bear

"An elderly shepherd in Russia’s North Caucasus survived a bear attack by fighting off the animal with kicks and headbutts, local television reported. Yusuf Alchagirov, 80, also tried to stab the bear when the beast approached him in a raspberry field in Kabardino-Balkaria, but said the animal knocked his knife away. The ensuing tussle culminated in the bear, enraged by the headbutt, throwing Alchagirov off a cliff and walking away, the man said on the regional affiliate of VGTRK television."


Bears Prefer Privacy

Oh, man, these bears are tearing shit up, and I could not be feeling it more. DO YOUR THING, BEARS!


How Polar Bears Kill Time

If you are anything like me you will find this video of polar bears practicing fight techniques to be completely transfixing for the ten minutes of its run time. If you are nothing like me your life is probably filled with a fairly regular routine of joy, satisfaction, peace and the highly-underrated ability to appreciate the moments of everyday happiness that occur spontaneously without ruining things by looking for their inevitable downside. And you'll probably still enjoy this video. How could you not, it's amazing.


Denied Service, Bear Exits Bar

"A black bear walked into the bar at the Alaskan Hotel in downtown Juneau on Monday night. Bartender Ariel Svetlik-McCarthy says she freaked out and yelled, 'No bear! Get out! No! You can't be in here!' The bear complied, leaving the bar within seconds."


Baby Bears Want To Get The Hell Out Of Houston Just Like Everyone Else

How about we all make our escape now? Don't let them trick you with the peanut butter and fruit scam, they just want to throw you back in your cage. Roam free, you baby bears. And to all a good night.


Your Ovaries And Whatever It Is Men Have That Are The Equivalent Of Ovaries Will Explode When You See The Adorable Thing That These Bear Cubs Are Doing, Oh My God It's So Cute I Cannot Even Believe It

OMG these bear cubs are dancing. DANCING!


Bear Article Painful Even By Terribly Low Standards Of Tabloid Zoo Stories

"How do you say 'Voulez-vous couchez avec moi' in ursine?"


Los Angeles Briefly Interesting

This bear cub is sleeping like a baby. LIKE A BABY!


Could Bigfoot Be Frank Sinatra's Son?

"Bigfoot could be cross between ancient polar bear and brown bear"


How To Survive A Bear Attack

That's right. As this impressive piece of animation clearly shows, you just grab the bear's tongue.

Or, of course, you lead it onto a playground. Everyone knows what bears love more than anything.




Florida Bear In Florida Tree

One of the worst parts of adolescence is having to hang out at 7-Eleven, so I have nothing but sympathy for this bear.


Bear Used As Bear Bait

"The trap with the yearling in it is being watched to see if other bears come looking for it. We have not been told what the plan is if that happens."


Snacky Bear Takes His Sweet Bear-Snacking Time

Hahahah, this bear walks through the gate LIKE HE WAS PEOPLE! PEOPLE! Below, bonus bear video for your midday Monday enjoyment.


Horses Unfrightened

Don't get me wrong, the bear does not give a good account of himself here, but the fact that we now measure the majesty of nature by the possibility that it might be "classic on YouTube" somehow speaks to what we've lost of wonder in this new age of technology. But yes, bad show, bear.


Bear Lingers Outside Of Dentist's Office, Ultimately Decides Against Going In

I know I say this to all the bears, but you, Florida bear who perched outside the chamber of horrors that is the dentist's office before deciding to disappear into the day, are my spirit animal. Go with God. [Via]


Once Bears Learn To Drive All Bets Are Off

"Experts say bears know how to open unlocked car doors, so it’s best to lock your car and not leave anything 'smelly' inside." —This is probably good advice even if you live in a less bear-intensive area than Truckee, CA.


Bears, Ranked

In what feels suspiciously like a post engineered to elicit this very link, the folks at Flavorwire have put together a list of the 15 best fictional bears. Okay, fine, here's your link. HAPPY NOW?