I feel bad about my Kanye. (Or, as George Bush calls him, at first, "Kanway.") Oh buddy, why'd you have to apologize for something awesome? Anyway, Kanye seems to be suggesting... something about his Bush-apologetic interview with Matt Lauer? His Twitter stream of consciousness doesn't however indicate anything other than he doesn't know so much about giving an interview.

Like, if Matt Lauer is hassling you? Stop the interview. Come on, YOU HAVE HANDLERS.

Plus, you know, it's video: they can't put words in your mouth. (Unless it's CGI.) Kanye's rambling included unclear meandering bits like this.

Ah well. Let's relive 2005's most magical moment.

(via)

Y2K was the thing that was going to Destroy Earth when this dumb, nameless decade began. It's hard to remember the pre-Muslim threats, but this was a big one: All the planes were going to fall out of the sky, at midnight on January 1, 2000... based on the time zone they were flying over, I guess? It was never very clear, which is why it was such an effective End of the World scenario. Also, your teevees and ATMs would stop working. Because of those rotten computer programmers! Me? I was drunk in Madrid, which had not yet been blown up by Muslims, and also airfare was incredibly cheap because nobody wanted to fly around New Year's (because of Y2K), and flying was still "fun," as in, you just showed up at the airport maybe 20 minutes before your flight, drink in hand, shoes on your feet, laptop closed and actually left at home because what was WiFi, anyway? READ MORE

Tom Ford, whose movie A Single Man made $216,328 this weekend in its very limited release, makes, as we have noted, excruciatingly expensive and gorgeous clothes for men. (Women's clothes coming soon-as soon as he raises $50 million to do the line, which, oh my God, it's going to be all made out of ostrich saliva and platinum leaf, I guess?) In particular, in his recent seasons of ties, not a single one of them was bad. But, while my back was turned, apparently Tom Ford just dumped a bunch of men's stuff for next season on the market? And it is REVOLTING. READ MORE

Here is the world's worst holiday gift guide, from the Washington Post. Bubble bath! Mediocre wingtips! (Here's a hint: if you're going to spend more $550 on wingtips for men, then you can afford to go to John Lobb and get proper ones.) And? Says one gift-giver: "My female friends are getting amazingly colorful one-size-fits-all muumuus I found in Bali." That is from boutique-owner Christopher Reiter, who is going to have zero female friends as of December 26th.

The most hilarious of the RECESSION OVER stories this morning-on the news that the GDP increased by 3.5% over a year ago-comes from the Washington Post. How are consumers doing? "Armed with cash from government support programs, consumers led the rebound in the third quarter, snapping up cars and homes." Really! Snapping up, you say, with their... cash for clunkers money? The other tier of our fine country's growth: "The cheaper dollar is aiding U.S. exporters, making their goods less expensive to foreign buyers. Exports of U.S. goods soared at an annualized rate of 21.4 percent in the third quarter, the most since the final quarter of 1996." (Oh hey, maybe this means the national debt is now less than 70-something percent of the GDP? No?) So what does this mean? It actually seems to mean: If the government spends a big bunch of money, and if the dollar is also depressed enough to make international export attractive, then we basically don't need 20% of the active workforce to have the jobs they don't have! This bodes really well for the future. (And for us having death panels, and stadiums full of live human cage matches.)

Here's a fine how-do-you-do: "My mom received an $800 bill for one session of chemo the other day in the mail that said her insurance wasn't going to cover the treatment due to 'a lack of information.'"