Posts Tagged: animal rights
8

Enemy Monkey Launched Into Space By Iran

Longtime American enemy Iran made another bold move in its passive-aggressive hostilities toward Washington by … let's see, by reportedly sending a monkey into space. Who would do such a thing, to a monkey?

Press TV, the state-run satellite broadcaster, said the animal was launched in a space capsule code named Pishgam, or Pioneer. The development coincided with continued stalemate in the unrelated Western effort to persuade Iran to abandon its nuclear enrichment program, which Western powers maintain is designed to create nuclear weapons technology—an assertion Iran denies.

So, sending this animal into orbit for a moment "coincided" with the "unrelated" 35-year problems Iran has with its [...]

3

Hide Your Fish, Faith No More Are Coming To Town

So the recently reunited proto-rap-rock outfit Faith No More are coming to America. (When, exactly, is less clear.) This is good news for fans of the funky metal grooves of hits like "We Care A Lot," "Falling to Pieces," their cover of the Nestles chocolate jingle, and, probably best known, "Epic." This is bad news for fish. These people are fish torturers.