Being naturally petty my initial reaction to news that "residents of a swanky downtown condo building have filed a lawsuit grand-slamming a plan to put a Denny’s restaurant in their building" was of the, "Suck it, rich people, we all have to live with the malling of Manhattan" variety, but on further reflection I decided that I don't want a Denny's in my city even if it does bring with it the benefit of upsetting a bunch of people who pay a million bucks for each bedroom. I suppose we'll never have the revolution if aesthetic considerations trump class antagonisms, but that's a concern I'm willing to put on [...]
“I wasn’t stunned when he got in trouble. I know him for years and always knew something was wrong with him.” —Former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani delivers his verdict on Anthony Weiner to Cindy Adams. Elsewhere in Cindy's column, Giuliani's former police commissioner Bernie Kerik discusses his release from prison.
"Residents of Manhattan will not just sweat harder from rising temperatures in the future, says a new study; many may die."
Now kids in town will be asking you to buy them cigarettes and beer.
In January 2009, when architecture writer Andrew Blum arranged to have his home internet service repaired, the technician who arrived at his Brooklyn apartment told him that the source of the problem was relatively low-tech: a squirrel had been chewing the rubber-coated wire that ran from Blum's building. Not much could be done, the technician said, other than wait for things to get better on their own, and they did. But Blum was shocked by his realization that the emails and websites he'd been reading on the computer had first passed through a wire in his back yard; his wonky home service was a physical problem, not a strictly technological [...]
"This is New York: We all like things our own way. We all think we’re the best. I love New York City — every inch of it, even Staten Island, but I prefer to live in Manhattan. So, what? My friends love Brooklyn. Great! I think it’s time we shelve this antiquated story line about which borough is better and leave it for the Knicks and the Nets to decide. Live where you want. Do what you want. Be nice to people." —What's more irritating about all your friends who have moved to Brooklyn, the way they expect you to give up an hour of your life to the F [...]
“For 1,000 square feet [of outdoor space], typically you need to be ready to spend $100,000, minimum." —Are YOU ready?
The stereotype about New Yorkers (or, you know, one of them) is that we love to complain, although as is the case with most things in life that is pretty much true of everyone everywhere—have you ever heard of a place whose tourism slogan is "The City Where No One Complains"?—New Yorkers just tend to do it more loudly and frequently plus it has a wider audience because the news and a bunch of the culture are made here. Anyway, there are a couple of days each year where the complaints—which are indeed annoying, stereotypes or not—are actually a kind of community conspiracy in which we are all ostensibly whining [...]
"Can obese cyclists sign up for the city’s new bike-share program? Fat chance! It is 'prohibited' for any rider who weighs more than 260 pounds to sign up for the soon-to-launch initiative — prompting backlash from riders who say the fat-shaming rule is enough to make them fly off the handle. Everyone who signs up for the program has to agree to a contract, which states users 'must not exceed maximum weight limit (260 pounds)' because the bikes can’t hold that much heft."
"As a side project, [anthropologist Andrew Irving] decided to record the inner dialogues of people walking in New York City—to map part of the city’s thoughtscape, layered beneath its audible soundscape. He approached strangers at different points in the city [and asked them] to wear a microphone headset attached to a digital recorder and speak aloud their thoughts as he followed closely behind with a camera. He would not be able to hear what they were saying, Irving explained, and they would be free to walk wherever they liked and continue their business as usual. 'I was surprised by how many said Yes,' Irving says—about 100 in all. By [...]
Nate Silver Says Anthony Weiner Has No Chance, So Let's Save Our Penis Jokes For Someone Who Deserves Them
"Of these four candidates, Mr. Weiner has the least room to grow, because nearly half of voters who recognize his name view him unfavorably." —Hahaha, nice one, Nate Silver!
"New Yorkers are just so busy. We’re embedding that seed of 'Hey, maybe I’ve never considered Scottsdale before.'"
New York's "what's that smell?" season has officially begun.
— Paul Werdel (@prwerdel) May 30, 2013
[Spoiler: It's piss.]
"When I become mayor, you know what I’m going to spend my first year doing? I’m going to have a bunch of ribbon-cuttings tearing out your [expletive] bike lanes." —Anthony Weiner to Mike Bloomberg, June 2, 2010
"Come January 1st, when I am out of office, I am going to destroy your f–king industry." —Mike Bloomberg to Taxi Club Management CEO Gene Freidman, May 16, 2013
"Go fuck yourself." —Christine Quinn, lots of times probably
"Republican mayoral candidate Joe Lhota apologized Wednesday for calling Port Authority police officers 'nothing more than mall cops' at a candidates forum Tuesday evening. The apology comes a few months after Mr. Lhota, then chairman of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, apologized to Mayor Michael Bloomberg for referring to him as an 'idiot.' And that came a few weeks after Mr. Lhota apologized for a heated exchange in which he urged an authority board member to 'be a man.' That apology came a few months after Mr. Lhota apologized to a state senator whom he had accused of talking a lot about fighting rats in the subway, but taking no [...]
G Train Possibly Not The Fetid, Inescapable Pit Of Despair We Had Previously Suggested Even Though All Who Ride It Still Lose The Desire To Live
"However trendy it may be to knock the G, a new report finds that the oft-ridiculed subway line continues to outperform its reputation, while delays along the neighboring L train have gotten dramatically worse." Um, so what? Either way it's still Brooklyn.
Look, I appreciate the effort. I applaud everyone who has done their part even though it has become more than apparent over the course of what is almost 70 years that, no matter the hopes and dreams and signs and style guides, it is just not happening. So can we stop referring to it as the "Avenue of the Americas" already? Let it die.