Everything Changes
1

Why John Waters Stopped Making Movies

"There is no such thing as a $5 million independent movie. They want me to go make it like I used to, but I have no desire to do that. I did that. I have 17 movies, they're all playing everywhere in the world, more than ever. I've spoken. I can't afford to make a movie the way they want me to do it. I make way more writing these books. The main thing is, when DVDs overnight died, that ended the safety net. That was profit. All foreign deals fell through. Nobody wants any movie that can't play in China. Nobody wants any movie that has to have any [...]

12

The Five Stages Of Grief Following The Publication Of One's First Book

1. DENIAL

• "Sorry, Mom, I can't talk long. Terry Gross is likely to call at any time and I imagine will want instructions on how to pronounce my name."

• "Everyone knows that Amazon rankings are a total joke. I mean, I could give a shit. But you and everyone else in our extended family did buy seven copies each at 5:22 a.m. EST just like I told you, right?"

• "And those Nielsen BookScan sales numbers are clearly off by one decimal place. Maybe two."

• "I need to be at Barnes and Noble right when it opens. What? No reason."

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