Here you will find a slideshow of monkeys with funny faces.

Here is a pretty epic and accurate description of the hubris of the new Internet-rich. Now that a small group of people has accumulated vast amounts of money, employing desperately few Americans, paying very little in taxes, isolating itself in wealthy bubbles while the rest of America slowly smolders, what will we do when they try to take over the government? Nope, not in some hypothetical far future; pretty much it all starts right now. First one off the Internet wins.

“It would be a shame if this report convinced people that salt doesn’t matter.”
 — Bonnie Liebman, director of nutrition at the Center for Science in the Public Interest, discusses the finding by “a prestigious group convened by the government” that you can actually have as much salt as you want, totally go crazy, you will probably live forever.

Happy 70th to John Symon Asher Bruce, bassist and songwriter extraordinaire. Cream was pretty inescapable when I was growing up, but I’ve always enjoyed this one.

Finally, our president has taken the battle home in our long war against birds. So long, eagles and hawks! Get stuffed! (If they can still stuff the twisted half-carcasses — more than half a million a year! — that remain after our wind turbines do their work.) MAKE LIKE THE BEES AND DROP DEAD.

Oh man, this total environmental collapse is going to be awesome!

Bret Easton Ellis’ quite excellent essay on gay uptightness puts him pretty firmly back in my good graces forever.

nytimes.com/2013/04/28/mag… #subtweetingangelina

— Matthew Zeitlin (@MattZeitlin) May 14, 2013

love to Angelina, but if the cure to breast cancer is that woman have to get their breasts removed before they get cancer, we are in trouble

— Michael Skolnik (@MichaelSkolnik) May 14, 2013

“Raising awareness” about a test that is too expensive to be affordable for most people is kind of problematic.

— Aaron Bady (@zunguzungu) May 14, 2013

Meanwhile, #CNN ‘s premier story on their web page is Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy. #journalism

— Justin Evans (@Justinevans0502) May 14, 2013

“You know what would be news? Angelina…actually highlighting how disgraceful the US healthcare system is” theworldbreakseveryone.com/angelina-jolie…

— Anthony De Rosa (@AntDeRosa) May 14, 2013

“A picture caption on Monday with an article about a push for innovation in Taiwan described incorrectly the sitting position of Jonney Shih, chairman of Asustek Computer. While Mr. Shih did assume the yoga lotus pose during an interview, he was shown seated in a cross-legged position in the picture, not in the lotus pose.”

“The psychological definition of loneliness hasn’t changed much since Fromm-Reichmann laid it out. ‘Real loneliness,’ as she called it, is not what the philosopher Søren Kierkegaard characterized as the ‘shut-upness’ and solitariness of the civilized. Nor is ‘real loneliness’ the happy solitude of the productive artist or the passing irritation of being cooped up with the flu while all your friends go off on some adventure. It’s not being dissatisfied with your companion of the moment — your friend or lover or even spouse — unless you chronically find yourself in that situation, in which case you may in fact be a lonely person. Fromm-Reichmann even distinguished ‘real loneliness’ from mourning, since the well-adjusted eventually get over that, and from depression, which may be a symptom of loneliness but is rarely the cause. Loneliness, she said — and this will surprise no one — is the want of intimacy.”
 — The New Republic’s Judith Shulevitz

writes about lots of recent scientific studies that show that loneliness doesn’t just make us feel rotten when we’re alive, but physically sickens us, so that lonelier people will die sooner than less lonely people. But, y’know, there’s a glass-half-full way of looking at this. Here are some songs to listen to if this article gets you feeling down.

“Some wealthy Manhattan moms have figured out a way to cut the long lines at Disney World — by hiring disabled people to pose as family members so they and their kids can jump to the front…”