“Rather than acknowledging that he sometimes leaves town, the mayor insists that his private time is his private time and the public doesn’t have the right to know where he is when he’s off the clock. But the challenge of being mayor of New York City is that you’re never really off the clock; it’s the most public job north of the White House. And it’s simply jarring and a little weird not to see the mayor on TV when disaster strikes and then there’s no explanation forthcoming about his absence. The mayor insists that he’s not a first responder, that his job isn’t to fix the railroad or put out a fire. And while that may be true, to be mayor of new York isn’t to just be a good city manager; it’s to lead. Although he’s been in office since 2002, Bloomberg has never really embraced the part of the job that had La Guardia reading the funny papers to kids on the radio during a newspaper strike or Ed Koch cheering commuters as they crossed the Brooklyn Bridge during a transit shutdown. Bloomberg’s efforts at fulfilling that role have been half-hearted and mostly fallen flat.”
 — Haven’t we all had enough of this? Maybe it’s time we get a new mayor.

Former New York Observer editor Peter Kaplan died on Friday. “The meat of his tenure occurred during the unfettered, exuberant, often crass nineties boom, and the Observer glorified the city’s inhabitants and their rituals even as it skewered them, turning them into Drew Friedman gargoyles, putting words in their mouths with his characteristic barking, yawping headlines that were more like sentences or whole paragraphs (‘headlines that talked!’ as he said), finishing the story before the prose had even begun,” observes John Homans. This piece from last year is also worth reading. Kaplan was 59.

“Over the last few years viral news has been co-opted by advertisers, pranksters, political operatives and others looking to sell something. When he can, Mr. Zimmerman tries to note when a story looks fishy and might harbor some ulterior motive. But telling the truth kills virality, reducing traffic. ‘Once Internet culture eats itself, will I be able to do my job?’ he wonders. ‘When speaking truth to Internet culture doesn’t result in traffic … when that happens, I may lose my edge and I’ll have to find something else to do.’”

If I worked at New York magazine, I’d spend the day cross-referencing people hair-rending on Twitter about the magazine going biweekly with the subscriber list. Just saying.

Looking at the MPA data for New York magazine gives one small side of the story. Sampling Q1 and Q3 data since 2006, actual reported print revenue doesn’t change that radically, at least since the Great Downturn or whatever we’re calling it.

But total ad pages per quarter does change.

What’s interesting is that the magazine, like, you know, lots of magazines, makes lots of money. According to the Times, going biweekly “will yield about $3.5 million in savings.” (Not clear over what period that is.) Well, New York made $81,220,636 in the first half of 2013 on print advertising alone. Averaged out, that’s revenue of around $3 million a week — and we’re not even counting online ad revenue. So it’s a hard game to trim your ability to actually deliver print advertising while still raking it in.

UPDATE: I didn’t include my usual disclaimer about these numbers! Please blame it on “Monday morning.” The Magazine Association numbers are like, basically, “rate card times number of ad pages.” So while the ad page number is accurate, the revenue number is pretty much like saying “oh x website had 10 million pageviews, and their CPM is $12, so they must have made $400 billion dollars.” We all know in the real world it doesn’t work like that. The trending is useful in its way, however — more like an expression of “maximum total possible income.”

What do you get the person that doesn’t need anything? Something they don’t need, of course! Here’s our annual holiday round-up of just terrific things for the rich person in your life. Where to even start!

Well what about… baby cashmere… for babies! It seems so obvious. There’s so many choices!

The best possible choice in kidwear is this “Porte Enfant Cuddly,” made from cashmere from the undercoat of baby goats and lined with rabbit fur. Just $5,125 at Loro Piana.

Or why not get these baby cashmere mittens for newborns? $275 at Loro Piana.

You and three friends could spend the day with Derek Jeter! It’s a benefit for his foundation. Yeah Jeets! Bidding starts at $90,000.

Or if you’d like to spend less but you like baseball a lot, here’s the Hermès hand-stitched “gold swift calfskin” baseball glove. $13,400.

For the man with sensitive hands, Hermès has these lovely gloves in lambskin velvet. A bargain at $350!

The Fendi “fur monster baguette” bag, in pink. $7200.

“THE GOSPEL OF MARK, IN GREEK, FRAGMENT OF A MANUSCRIPT ON VELLUM [EASTERN ROMAN EMPIRE, FIFTH CENTURY].” Estimate: $24,083 — $32,110, Sotheby’s.

One overnight stay in Philip Johnson’s Glass House in New Canaan. Includes dinner for 10. $30,000.

“THE FENDER STRATOCASTER GUITAR PLAYED BY BOB DYLAN AT THE 1965 NEWPORT FOLK FESTIVAL.” $300,000-$500,000.

You’ll want to bring a blanket! Yves Delorme “Losanges” duvet cover, from the fall/winter 2013 collection, $625.

These little flip-flops are nice. Calfskin and rubber! Hermès, $360.

Vanity Fair’s December holiday guide lists this delightful little item. Ha ha it’s for charging your tablet. For £150. They also have a Hercules version, for real, for £100.

Vanity Fair also recommends the Movado Cerena watch “for her.” Nordstrom has it for just $995.

Lanvin made this calf hair wallet! Only $410.

Who wants to hit the beach? Vilebrequin’s embroidered sea urchin swim shorts are just $650.

However will you get to the beach? This brand new 52′ Van der Heijden “Commuter” is $1,895,000.

Speaking of fishing! How about this delightful Prionailurus viverrinus? That’s “fishing cat” to you and me. Bottle-raised, just $5000. God, what can’t you buy. Happy holidays!

Hoo boy, this one hits a little too close to home. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, wait a few years, it’ll happen to you too. Sorry.

“If anything bolsters our instinctive revulsion to game-changing technology, it’s that so much of it makes us physically queasy.”

“This year Butterball decided it’s high time someone else answered the phone too… Yes, a man.”
 — Yes, a man.

“A new peer-reviewed study on sexual activity discovered a significant difference in opinion among men and women, especially in regard to remorse. Women’s top regret is having lost their virginity to the wrong partner; men’s is not pursuing a prospective sexual partner. Both genders also regretted having sex with someone who was not physically attractive.”

“Super Bowl suckers are shelling out thousands of dollars to stay in flea-bag New Jersey motels that are so horrifying hookers won’t sleep there.”