Next month Tracey Thorn, she of Everything But The Girl and the Marine Girls, will release her third solo album, Love And Its Opposite. It’s hands-down one of the best releases of 2010, a tightly wound series of meditations on love that’s embroidered with tiny, gut-punching details. “Why Does The Wind?” is a brooding, downtempo reflection on the conflicted feelings that crop up when a relationship might be at the beginning of its end, sweetened with just enough strings to make the sadness described by the lyrics hit even harder.

A warning to those of you pinching pennies: Sometimes, taking the “budget” option can be way more expensive in the long run! Here is Exhibit A, brought to you by that cloud of volcanic ash that did so much to block European air travel over the past week: “As Britain’s skies opened for business at last after a catastrophic six-day shutdown, the carrier’s chief executive, Michael O’Leary, told passengers his airline would not meet hotel and subsistence expenses incurred while they were stuck abroad. Ryanair would reimburse travellers the original price of their air fare and no more, he said.”

In honor of Earth Day 2010, The Awl has decided to help the environment by going completely paperless today. So don’t print anything out that you see here until tomorrow, okay? I also personally pledge not to piss on any trees this evening, no matter how drunk I am or how full my bladder. Plus, we’re going to make all our slugs (“This Just In,” What A World,” etc.) green, to symbolize our commitment to nature. I think if we all pull together we can really make some positive changes that will help save the planet. Please share your earth-friendly solutions below! Do remember that using the caps lock key adds ten kilowatt hours to every letter typed, so if you need to be emphatic stick with italics, thanks.

“We have renewed our faith in the written word by acquiring for more than a billion dollars in stock one of the country’s great newspapers-The Boston Globe.”
–Arthur Ochs Sulzberger, May 25, 1994. (via)

Last night’s South Park was the second part of its 200th-episode celebration that collected various celebrities and in-jokes from episodes past — including the prophet Muhammad, who was involved in a Family Guy-baiting episode and brought back this time for complicated reasons involving Tom Cruise and other delicately constituted famous people who had previously been skewered by the show. Well, and perhaps for a bit of point-making publicity as well; the last time Muhammad was brought into the mix, Comedy Central censored all visual depictions of him, much to the ire of series creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

“201” was the conclusion of last week’s “200,” and during the week between the episodes’ airings a Muslim group posted a photo of Theo Van Gogh as a way of showing what could happen to Parker and Stone. “We have to warn Matt and Trey that what they are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show,” read the photo’s caption. “This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them.” (That’s a nice bit of etymology there, especially considering that a link to a piece on a Stone and Parker-owned home in Colorado Springs was apparently also linked from the missive; in another sign of the power of aggregators, the authors allegedly linked to HuffPo.)

Lest the more cynical among you think that this whole thing was planned and carried out so as to maximize the episode’s dissemination, know that the episode has so far as I can tell aired only once, which is a rarity in these rerun-saturated times; Comedy Central showed “201” at its normal first-run broadcast time of 10 p.m. ET but did not reair it during its normal midnight South Park rebroadcast, and the episode page on the South Park Studios site is videoless, with just a message that says: “After we delivered the show, and prior to broadcast, Comedy Central placed numerous additional bleeps throughout the episode. We do not have network approval to stream our original version of the show.”

Among the censored bits: Visual and spoken references to Muhammad, as well as most of the episode’s show-closing “I learned something today” monologue. Who censored which bits? Who knows! (Although I’d bet that the moralizing bit at the show’s close was bleeped out by Parker and Stone for the purposes of Making A Point, since some of the controversial statements were uttered by O.G. South Park guest stars Santa Claus and Jesus. Also, have you ever tried to lip-read a cartoon that’s supposed to mimic paper cutouts? It’s kind of challenging!) Illicit copies of the show are still floating around the Internet, which is probably as good as you’re going to get for now.

John Carney, writing today about the players in the Goldman SEC investigation, is not at all the first to reference The Big Short, Michael Lewis’ book about the financial “crisis” (AKA “series of scams”), in light of the Goldman Sachs case. You know, it has been suggested that it’s almost as if the SEC read The Big Short and then went out looking for more examples of the things in the book! In fact it’s almost exactly like that. Who says books aren’t useful?

As Abe Sauer noted amid yesterday’s unveiling of the new $100 bill, the crazier elements of the right were sure to complain about “how this demonstrates Obama is making good old US greenbacks all colored like that socialist euro money.” Vanity Fair’s Juli Weiner took things even further, suggesting the bill might as we be a Euro and appealing for the crackpot version of the Bat Signal: “Um, Drudge-siren! Is this bill a Communist-style invasion of our civil liberties?” Well, it’s not exactly a siren, but Matt did indeed take note. Whether this is an indication of self-awareness or the typical knee-jerk response to anything involving the administration-and it could easily be both-don’t let it be said that Mr. Drudge won’t play to type.

The headline, once again, is going to be that the New York Times Company 1st quarter profit is up five times over a year ago! Wow, right? Yeah, that would be misleading. Here’s what’s actually up, if you read on past the first page of their report. “Total revenues decreased 3.2 percent to $587.9 million from $607.1 million. Advertising revenues declined 6.1 percent, circulation revenues rose 3.5 percent, and other revenues decreased 15.5 percent. The increase in digital advertising revenues, which rose 18.3 percent, was more than offset by a 12.3 percent decrease in print advertising revenues.” (Most of that digital ad money comes from the About.com Group.) Still, that’s good! Because 2009 Q2 had an online ad downturn

, which was a little scary. So: “Circulation revenues rose because of higher subscription and newsstand prices.” (This is what they call a “short term bump.”) Still, the good news is that expenses are down; they saved about $85 million. The bad news? “About half of the savings are from reductions in compensation.” And. “Print advertising revenues were weak across the News Media Group resulting in a 12.3 percent decline.” We won’t even bother to look at the debt that comes up in 2012 and 2015, because it’s quite a bit and also above our pay grade to judge. Still, their forecast for the rest of the year fails to be cheery.

by Abe Sauer

Global markets are rapidly recovering from the 2008 financial crisis, and so are the circulations of the fictitious. There are 15 new publications on the 2010 edition of Fabricated 15, our (could be!) annual ranking of fictional print publications with circulations greater than their real-world counterparts.

Topping the list this year is newcomer The New Frontiersman, news staple of the Watchmen Cold War world. The right-wing Frontiersman has accumulated a tremendous following in the last year on the strength of its endless braying about the nation’s turn toward socialism. The addition of guest columnist Erick Erickson drove the publication’s fourth quarter to record subscription numbers. Additionally, because its wing-nut readership cannot use the Internet with confidence, The Frontiersman’s print numbers remain above 2 million. (They have only 1530 Twitter followers.)

After a disastrous 2008, girlie mags surged back last year. Miranda Priestly’s Runway remained at top (1.2 million including newsstand) despite increased competition from Mode (900K), which, after Fey Sommers’ death, is exceeding expectations even while averting near-disaster high-jink after near-disaster high-jink under the helm of Daniel Bradford. Meanwhile, ageless Erica Kane’s Tempo Magazine (355K) continues its endless, nothing-new battle with Nicole “Nikki” Newman’s Restless Style (330K) with no end in sight. Making the list, but just barely, is Composure (400K), which saw a recent large surge despite negative publicity from Andie Anderson’s hit tell-all memoir, How to Lose a New York Magazine Job in Ten Days, exposing editor Lana Jong’s complete lack of journalistic ethics.

Other publications making the list include American Sports Magazine, which, thanks to the experience of Dan Foreman and the pluck of newcomer Carter Duryea, also saw a spike in its ad revenue. In sadder news, both Hush-Hush and the New York Inquirer saw their numbers drop following the deaths of their founders. (“Death” being assumed in the former’s case, as Sid Hudgens’ body has yet to be found.)

New to this year’s list: Rhode Island Slut (210K), the small smut-mag-that-could from the smallest state in the union. Despite wide availability of free porn, Rhode Island Slut has shown that a print publication that remains hyper-focused can achieve relative success. The success of two other highly targeted blue titles, Taint Magazine (182K) and Juggs and Ammo (275K), further evidences the importance of a tight focus. Also, Juggs and Ammo has seen especially strong gains thanks to an atmosphere or right-wing paranoia (see New Frontiersman above).

Comeback title of the year is Particle Magazine (400K). After a disastrous experience with Editor Stathis Borans that almost brought the magazine to bankruptcy, Particle surged back after receiving loads of positive publicity from one-time writer Veronica Quaife’s gripping, Oprah-selected memoir of her fantastic dealings with both Borans and Seth Brundle.

The Daily Prophet is the highest profile drop-off this year. The wizarding publication saw the largest readership swing in Fabricated 15 history, from an estimate circ. of “a muggle-ton” last year to less than 50,000 today. Yes, it has the ability to replicate itself without the need for a press — but how much exactly is that worth if everyone reads the Wizzeb on their iWand?

Surprisingly not making the list this year? Former newspaper heavyweights The Daily Planet and The Daily Bugle. Even in the fictional world, apparently, classic daily newspaper publishing is in the sewer. Also, may we suggest Lou Grant focus on growing the quality of his Los Angeles Tribune editorial content instead of leaving filthy messages on our voicemail. Also, Spy dropped off after star writer C.K. Dexter Haven put his column on hiatus to enter sex rehab.

Finally, Fabricated 15 perennial contender The Washington Post (673K) failed to make any gains in the last year despite only-in-fiction stunts like hiring porn-named writers like Woodward and funny characters like “Carl,” offering to sell access to corporate interests willing to pay thousands for private dinners with publishers and stocking its online site with plagiarized material. Only in the movies, people!

To qualify for the Fabricated 15, we require that candidates be a fictional print publication, a rule which excludes mythological and folkloric works. Titles must appear in a specific narrative work or series of works. And they must be known, both within their fictional universe and by their audience, for having better long-term prospects than their real-life counterparts.

Circulation estimates are based on an analysis of the fictional publication’s source material, though mostly they’re made up. In the case of privately held fictional concerns, we sought to totally make shit up. All numbers would be endorsed by the National Association of Magazine Editors were they relevant… the numbers of course.

We reserve the right to bend or break any of our own rules — because we’re online, baby. (With (a very few) Apologies to Forbes.)

Abe Sauer has his very own fictional magazine.

“’Sex and the City 2,’ due May 25, features Alicia Keys covering Blondie’s ‘Rapture’… as well as legendary entertainer Liza Minnelli covering Beyonce’s “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It).”