“I guess we made an error in judgment and we apologize for that. I voted for the man. It wasn’t meant to be him. If they took it that way, we apologize.”
-Goodtime Amusements president Irvin Good Jr. expresses his regrets over his company’s “Alien Attack” carnival game, in which players shot at a target that “depicted a black man dressed in a suit holding a rolled up piece of paper labeled, ‘Health Bill.’ The man also sported a belt buckle fashioned after the presidential seal.”

Cinematic Killer Robot Musical Intrigues

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYGCqTdPjrE

If you only watch one 49 second trailer for an Indian 3D robot musical today, please re-evaluate the choices you’ve made in your life that brought you to where you are right now. Also, make it this one. Endhiran is a big-budget Indian musical scored by A.R. Rahman, the soundtrack of which is already doing really well on iTunes. According to io9, the movie’s plot is fairly complicated but apparently follows a father who makes a robot friend for his son and then the robot may or may not go on a killing spree. Either way, I dare you to read this or anything else about this film and not want to watch it.

And now to the world of publishing: “It is the world’s most famous sex manual, but the Kama Sutra has always had a flaw: it is impossible to follow the instructions while keeping the book propped open. Now an enterprising British publisher has solved the problem by releasing a new version of the Indian guide as an audiobook.” Apparently this is the first time an audio version of the text has been recorded, which seems unlikely, but whatever: it’s read by actress Tanya Franks (boozy slag Karen in the phenomenal “Pulling”), so, you know, yes please.

It’s always fun learning about Times pundit Ross Douthat. I mean it sincerely that he’s alien and fascinating to me! He doesn’t like to speak about his rationale against gay marriage, except for the need he sees for “institutional support for reproduction” (which, it needs more?), and now: “My views on gambling are similar to my views on pornography. I wouldn’t want to live in a society that went to extraordinary lengths to get rid of either sort of vice, but I don’t care to live in a country where they’re completely normalized either.” So, gambling and porno: we can have it, but it can’t be acceptable. It’s an intriguing idea, to be in favor of setting up a society where things can be legal (or semi-legal) but not quite morally right.

Sometimes it’s the simple things. This actually does turn out to be transfixing, probably because of the lack of sound. Anyway, it’s a bear video. Good enough for me!

Germany knows how to treat its drunks: “It is partially out of such concerns that many municipalities have begun exploring other ways to get public drinking — in particular public drunkenness — under control. Many of those efforts have been modelled after a program in the northern German city of Kiel. In 2003, the city established a drinking room for alcoholics. Known as The Sofa, it is a place where drinkers can bring their own beer or wine — hard liquor is not allowed — instead of besieging public spaces as before.”

Science, today you have outdone yourself. Researchers from the University of West Florida have concluded that booty calls “are marked by less emotion than long-term partnerships but more sexual variety than one-night stands.” I KNOW, RIGHT? It gets better!

The team found that overall, emotional acts were less common in booty-call relationships compared with serious long-term relationships. On the other hand, sex acts were more common in booty-call relationships than in one-night stands, probably because the reoccurring nature of booty calls means more time for trying new things, the researchers suspect.

Also! “Some of [study leader Peter] Jonason’s other research suggests that booty-call relationships often end when one partner pushes the other for something more committed than casual sex. Avoiding conversation and leaving right after sex can prevent those emotional bonds from forming.” It is both important research and a handy how-to all in one! God, this totally made my day.

It’s the third installment of our weekly experiment, the Job Board! Do you have a job for offer? Do you require a job? Then post within. Most likely you should include an email address or contact info. And look! Here’s a job! Even if you think Meryl Streep is “kind of a hack,” there’s a job for you writing “original blog posts” about celebrities!

Hey, I keep forgetting to say nice things about Mike Bloomberg! So here: this week, Mike Bloomberg is an American hero. It’s handy, though, that his position on the 9/11 GROUND ZERO TERROR MOSQUE is actually a pro-business, pro-contract, pro-privacy position. (“The simple fact is, this building is private property,” is what Bloomberg said about the MUSLIM 9/11 MOSQUE.) It’s also an anti-landmarking position, which historically fits him well-and it dovetails perfectly with a pro-”tolerance,” pro-shut-the-hell-up-non-New-Yorkers position. It was an awfully good speech! Filled with the very recent history of religious intolerance! So, I’m a little psycho, what with the constant emotional yo-yoing about the mayor, but this all made me very fond of him. Two of the great things about Bloomberg are that, unlike the entire United States Senate, he’s not a liar, and also he’s very, let’s say, “in touch with his feelings”-so when he goes off on morons, not only do you know he truly believes it but also he really puts his back into it. Good stuff.

“An instrumental album is something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. I have the ideas for it. I want to call it The Planets. I don’t even know if I should be saying this, but fuck it. [Laughs.] It’s just my interpretation of what each planet sounds like. I’m gonna go off on that. Just all instrumental. I’ve been studying the planets and learning the personalities of each planet. I’ve been doing this for about two years now just in my spare time so to speak. I wanna do it in surround sound. It’ll have to be in surround sound for Saturn to work.”
–Dr. Dre was right. He shouldn’t have said anything about that. Because I am now going to steal his idea, and make my own album based on my interpretation of what each planet sounds like. Since I am not the greatest producer in the history of rap music, or even, any sort of musician at all, my version will have to be a mixtape made up of previously released material available on YouTube. But still, here it is.

Dre was born in 1965, so I know he still thinks there’s nine planets.