This week, David Malki (who makes his living doing comics on the Internet) and friends self-published an anthology, called Machine of Death. It was self-published, in part, because traditional publishers didn’t like that it didn’t have any “names” in it. It’s a sci-fi anthology, and all the stories are about a world in which a machine will tell you how you will die at some point in the future. By harnessing everyone he could online to buy the book on release day — not before, and not after — and by offering a free ebook at a later date with proof of purchase, the book quickly went to the number one slot on Amazon.

Glenn Beck’s new book, Broke, was also released this week. And, perturbed at being beaten out as the top seller on Amazon, Beck took to his radio program yesterday.

Poor Beck was also beaten out by Keith Richards’ book.

And I want to tell you that, um…our books are always #1. And I find it REALLY fascinating, FASCINATING, that if you go to Amazon.com, Broke is number THREE. And the two books that are ahead of it — one is, uh, Keith Richards’ Life, which is getting a TON of — you know, that’s everywhere.

So yes, Beck decided this was all a metaphor.

And then, the #1 book — today, at least — is Machine of Death. And it’s a — collected stories about, you know, people who know how they’re gonna die. Haowww!

So you have DEATH — I know it’s called Life, but what a life it is, really! It’s a culture of death, OR how do we restore ourselves?

These are the — this is the left, I think, speaking. This is the left. You want to talk about where we’re headed? We’re headed towards a culture of death. A culture that, um, celebrates the things that have destroyed us. Not that the Rolling Stones have destroyed us — I mean, you can’t always get what you want. You know what I’m saying? Brown sugar. I have no idea what that means.

Well put, well put. Or actually not, just really crazy and weird and kind of disturbing! That he casts these books as the liberal pro-death agenda, and that his own book, which is called Broke after all, is about I guess positivity and rebirth?

In any event, Beck’s ramblings finally put him at the #1 spot on Amazon. Now Machine of Death is only at #3. And that is how it’s done.

Previously: Case Studies in Successful Self-Publishing: “To Slow Down the Time.

“Opportunity knocked, and Capri Anderson was quick to answer. Within hours of being outed as the mystery woman hiding naked in Charlie Sheen’s ravaged Plaza Hotel suite, Anderson, a 22-year-old hard-core porn star moved quickly to make sure the spotlight was firmly on her…. Photos featuring the porn star, who has also used the names Christina Walsh and Alexis Capri, in various states of undress were quickly posted to her ClubCapriAnderson.com website, and the media was openly encouraged to feature them as much as possible,” reports the Daily News. The paper also offers the following link: MORE PHOTOGRAPHS OF CAPRI ANDERSON — CLICK HERE.

“According to Corrections Corporation of America reports reviewed by NPR, executives believe immigrant detention is their next big market. Last year, they wrote that they expect to bring in ‘a significant portion of our revenues’ from Immigration and Customs Enforcement, the agency that detains illegal immigrants.”
 — The sheer nakedness of how corporations helped to create laws like Arizona’s anti-immigration scheme is amazing.

Oh, man. T.I.’s new song is terrific. Which makes it that much sadder that the Atlantan rap star is headed back to jail for another 11 months next week, after violating his parole by getting busted for pot in L.A. last month. And it makes this bit of lyrics in particular — which are good lyrics! T.I. is an excellent rapper! — seem really very unfortunate in hindsight: “Them suckas wanna see me caged up/That chapter’s over, pass the mic and set the stage up/Throw your A’s up/Tell my P.O. I don’t blaze up/Peewee, fire the haze up…” Oy. Here’s wishing him well and hoping that this is his last trip to prison.

Thoughts on a recent interview: “Just imagine if a show on Fox News had a live studio audience. If every time Sean Hannity mentioned death panels or Obamacare, he got a raucous ovation. It would make something that’s already oversimplified and dumbed down even more so, encouraging pandering and self-congratulation and lowering the level of discourse even further.”

Okay, Science, tell me about the “liberal gene” you’ve just discovered.

The research suggests that some people have an inherent bias against conservative thinking, that is independent of their education or upbringing. The effect is caused by a neurotransmitter in the brain called DRD4 which could be stimulated by the novelty value of left of centre opinions, say US researchers. In people who are naturally outgoing, the feature encourages them to seek out companions with unconventional views as they grow up. This in turn means they tend to form less conventional political viewpoints as adults, according to the study by the University of California and Harvard.

Wait, so the gene makes people more curious about experiences outside of their own and causes them to question common assumptions and traditional standards? No wonder liberals are so unhappy! Their genes are making them think. We need to find a cure for this immediately.

by Paul Hiebert

If rapping is for bad boys, Shad has little business being in the field. The Kenyan-born, Canada-raised hip-hop artist with a positive attitude has been nominated for multiple prestigious awards, and was even deemed the #1 rapper in Canada by the still rather-conservative National Post — and that wasn’t in, like, 2008 or anything, but just last week. On Shad’s third album, “TSOL,” released this spring, his lyrics address everything from how the same thing that floats your boat can also capsize it, to the time his sister taught him how to parallel park, to why rapping about rapping isn’t that interesting. Shad is performing tonight at the Highline Ballroom.K-os will also be there.

Why do so many rappers rap about rap?
I think it’s just a common theme. It becomes hardwired in your mind. It’s just part of the music.

Why does negativity sell more records than positivity when it comes to rap?
In Canada, that’s not really the case. K-os probably sells more records than any other rapper in Canada.

You’ve been touring across America with k-os for a month now. Have you noticed any differences between Canadian and American audiences?
A lot of the crowds have been surprisingly similar. Since we’re both Canadian, I think we end up drawing a similar kind of audience. That’s been the most interesting thing to me.

Why do you think there are so few female rappers?
I think rap’s inherently kind of macho. So that might be part of it. I can see that changing. Hip-hop is always changing.

Are you trying to make that change?
I don’t really try to change an entire genre. I just try to do what it is I do. If that in turn affects our culture — then that’s cool. But I definitely don’t start out with any ideas about changing a genre. I’m just trying to make music that makes sense to me.

I hear you like Roxette.
Oh yeah, for sure. They remind me of being a kid and hearing their songs on the radio.

You’re also earning a master’s degree in Liberal Studies at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver. What’s that about?
The whole program revolves around literature and philosophy and their relationship to passion and reason. It’s always inspiring when you get to take in a great work, or study someone who has committed themselves to creating something special or to advancing a new or positive idea. It’s more out of interest and fun. It’s obviously not the most important degree.

You make a lot of pop-culture references in your music.
It makes it more like a conversation, like when you’re talking to your friends and you might make a comment about the Monday Night Football game or whatever. So I think it brings it to a human level, where you’re just interacting on a shared experience, a shared environment and that sort of thing.

Any thoughts on Chris Bosh leaving the Toronto Raptors to join Lebron James and Dwyane Wade in Miami?
I’m not surprised he left. He’d be a great second piece, and he’s an even better third piece. I don’t think you can be too mad at him for leaving. My only problem with this topic is that I think it’s kind of boring.

Paul Hiebert is a writer in New York.

“Far from being a simple cephalopod that got lucky on a 256–1 chance of predicting eight two-option outcomes in a row (matches at the 2010 World Cup), it turns out Paul was / is a publicity stunt for a global entertainment conglomerate, the Merlin Entertainments Group (MEG). The biggest single shareholders in MEG are Blackstone (one-time favoured financiers of the former Liverpool owner, Tom Hicks), while until recently another stockholder in MEG was Dubai International Capital, former bidders for Liverpool.”
 — Man, you have no idea just how far the psychic octopus conspiracy goes.

I’m not quite sure what the Times means by “personal liability mortgages” in their fascinating story today on the insanity of foreclosures in Spain, because that phrase doesn’t really exist in English. But, yow, I did have no idea that repossession wasn’t the end of owing money on loans and mortgages, and that mortgage debt was excluded from bankruptcies in Spain. Maybe there are actually ways in which the U.S. looks out for individuals that is better for people than they way it is done in Europe! Huh. Still, it is hilarious to look back at this BusinessWeek article from 2007, which declares Europe’s mortgage and housing and banking industries to be sound and untouchable, while now we are talking about “Spain’s giddy real estate boom” and 1.4 million people there are facing foreclosure.

There is so much going on in this article about why women become crazy cat ladies — witches, supermodels, general female craziness, etc. — but it’s actually pretty overwhelming, particularly if you watch the accompanying video of the 71-year-old cat rescuer Pat, who has suffered a life of abuse and has channeled the human need to give and receive affection into her pets. At the very end, when she kisses her cat and says, “He loves me, don’t he? You wouldn’t get that off a man, would you? He’d want something for that,” well, it’s almost like all the heartbreak of a life is channeled into that one expression. It’s staggering. I am not an animal person, but, Jesus, when you think about how terrible people are to each other you can sort of see the point.