“One of the most significant factors influencing a ski resort’s environmental impact is the use of man-made snow. An Arizona resort is trying out a somewhat unconventional method to reduce their use of fresh water for snowmaking — paving their slopes with snow made from reclaimed wastewater…. The EPA agrees that wastewater is safe for humans if treated properly. But some local activists remain unconvinced that the ‘poo snow’ is healthy for resort-goers and the environment.”

THIS IS THE PERFECT TREND STORY! This is IT. It is about how young gay men are “increasingly” (!!!) becoming “sugar babies” to pay for college! Let us break down how it works!

• “Kirk is hardly alone in his decision to sell sex in order to pay for school.” (Just alone so far in this story but hey, we get more anecdotes later!)

• “An increasing number of gay male students”

• “In addition to a lackluster job market”

• “While young gay men exchanging sex for money certainly predated the financial collapse”

• “recent events have pushed some students to consider”

• “risky behavior that in more robust economic times might have been unthinkable”

• “according to several owners of websites that broker such hook-ups.”

I. Can’t. Even.

There’s an expert who “studied the gay sugar baby culture as an undergraduate at George Washington University.” (Ooh, an undergrad research paper. Although to his credit he interviewed 100 kids and sounds smart!) And “an assistant professor of public health at Brooklyn College.” And it ends with an anecdote of a dude who can’t even get picked up on the “sugar daddy” websites.

Also the reporter randomly goes to a straight sugar daddy party for some color. It’s perfection. This is the end of trend stories: a glittering conjuring up of a thing that is to some unknown extent real, packaged into 3D, co-produced by Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer in a big gay SEO cuddle-puddle. I LOVE IT.

“Though you would never know it from the state of public alarm about education, the numbers show that regular public school performance has skyrocketed in the last two decades to the point that, for example, black elementary school students now have better math skills than whites had only 20 years ago. (There has also been progress for middle schoolers, and in reading; and less, but not insubstantial, progress for high schoolers.) The reason test score gaps have barely narrowed is that white students have also improved, at least at the elementary and middle school levels. The causes of these truly spectacular gains are unknown, but they are probably inconsistent with the idea that typical inner-city teachers are content to watch students wrestle on the classroom floor instead of learning.”
 — This critique of Steven Brill’s Let’s Blame The Teacher Unions is worth your time.

“If females can hear all song types equally well, they will go for the sexy ones, but if they cannot hear the sexy ones well anymore, then they might just go for the songs they can still hear. It could very well be that noise pollution is interfering with reproductive decisions by females.”
 — Wouter Halfwerk, a behavioral ecologist at Leiden University in the Netherlands, on his study that indicates male birds are increasing the pitch of their singing to distinguish their songs from man-made sounds. Which is maybe what Bon Iver did when he went out to that cabin after he broke up with his saxophonist girlfriend?

I love that “Holocene” video, but, man it makes me itchy watching that kid put on that fuzzy wool sweater with no shirt underneath. And then I get all bothered in later scenes, when he DOES have a shirt underneath, but sometimes it’s a white shirt and sometimes a black one. (Wardrobe! Who’s the script supervisor on this project?!) And I call BULLSHIT!!! when he skips what must be the most unskippable-looking rock in the history of rock skipping like twenty skips across that pond. But then he throws that other rock and it turns into a sea eagle, and then the cliffs he’s climbing on start morphing geologically like we’re watching thousands of years of tectonic forces unfold before our eyes in a matter of seconds and I realize that perhaps the video is not meant to be taken as a literal factual account. And I relax some and let my myself enjoy it’s stunning beauty. I’ve been watching it a lot lately.

Also, on the subject of people being like birds, do you know this song from Bonnie Prince Billy?

It’s one the most beautiful songs I know in the world. And the chorus, which begins “So tweet with me…” is hard not to think of every time you use the Twitter machine.

by Thomas Golianopoulos

For years, conversations about the women’s game have revolved around players missing from the tour — past Grand Slam champions Justine Henin, Martina Hingis, Kim Clijsters and Amelie Mauresmo all retired young. Henin, Hingis and Clijsters unretired. Henin and Hingis have since re-retired. Clijsters, who has stuck around and won three Grand Slams during her comeback, is not in New York this week, having withdrawn with a stomach muscle injury. That leaves the returning Serena Williams as the favorite during this fortnight. But what about world No.1 Caroline Wozniacki? Is she the latest in a long line of pretenders — Jelena Jankovic, Ana Ivanovic, Dinara Safina — that have held the top spot in Williams’ absence? Or will she win her first Grand Slam at the Open?

CAROLINE WOZNIACKI’S QUARTER
Caroline Wozniacki (1) is “a pusher.” That’s an insider term used to describe a player whose game relies primarily on retrieval and defense. A pusher typically wins points when their opponent makes a mistake. They hit few winners and even fewer unforced errors. It’s passive tennis and it’s kind of boring. It also doesn’t win major tournaments. Wozniacki is the No. 1 player in the world but is, famously, without a Grand Slam title. (She does, however, have a new boyfriend.) Her best chance so far came back in January at the Australian Open but she flamed out against Li Na in the semifinals. Since losing early at Wimbledon, Wozniacki has tried to incorporate a little more aggressiveness into her game and has been rushing the net more often, but the results have been poor. Still, she has a good chance to emerge from her quarter. Jarmila Gajdosova (29) is bizarro-Wozniacki: She’s a touch too reckless. She’s also had a tumultuous year off the court. Li Na (6) is a potential quarterfinal opponent for Wozniacki but she’s struggled since capturing this year’s French Open. That could open things up for Andrea Petkovic (10), the delightful German with the best victory celebration in the sport. (She changes the dance each tournament.) If her shaky serve holds up, Petkovic, who is supremely fit and can hammer the ball from both her backhand and forehand wing, is a favorite to make the semifinals.

Must-See First Round Match: Li Na (6) vs. Simona Halep
Li Na goes for broke a little too often but is a crowd pleaser, while Halep is a promising 19 year old from Romania capable of an upset.

Potential Early Upset: 1st Round, Sara Errani over Svetlana Kuznetsova (15)
Kuzie is a two-time Grand Slam champion (2004 U.S. Open, 2009 French Open) and one of the streakiest players on tour. If she’s a touch off, she’ll spray unforced errors all over the court.

Quarterfinal: Caroline Wozniacki (1) vs. Andrea Petkovic (10)
Both players have glaring flaws in their game but their fitness and defense should carry them past the round of 16.

Semifinalist: Petkovic (10)
Even when Wozniacki is assertive at the start of a match, she tends to revert back to being a pusher during big moments.

VICTORIA AZARENKA’S QUARTER
Pity poor Victoria Azarenka (4). She was the big loser following last week’s draw when she pulled a potential third round match with Serena Williams (28), the most dominant player in the game. Consider it karma for her hideous grunting. Azarenka is a very good player and capable of a deep run but, considering her 1–5 lifetime mark against Williams, will be a huge underdog. This will be Williams first time at the Open since her ugly, profane tirade against a lineswoman in the 2009 semifinals. A mysterious foot injury sidelined her for nearly a year but she’s quickly returned to form with dominant titles this summer in Montreal and San Diego and should steamroll to the semifinals. (Never mind that “toe injury.”) 2010 French Open champion Francesca Schiavone (7) and Serbs Ana Ivanovic (16) and Jelena Jankovic (11) are also in this quarter.

Must-See First Round Match: Reka-Luca Jani vs. Sloane Stephens
A glimpse of the post-Williams Sister Era as the 17 year-old Stephens makes her main draw U.S. Open debut.

Potential Early Upset: 2nd Round, Gisela Dulko over Victoria Azarenka (4)
Azarenka might not even reach her third round date with Williams; Dulko upended Azarenka in their last three matches, including a second-round clash at last year’s U.S. Open.

Quarterfinal: Serena Williams (28) vs. Jelena Jankovic (11)
Jankovic played inspiring tennis making the finals earlier this month in Cincinnati…

Semifinalist: Williams (28)
 …but lacks the necessary firepower needed to hurt Williams.

MARIA SHARAPOVA’S QUARTER
Maria Sharapova still hasn’t fully recovered from the devastating shoulder injury that sidelined her for a good chunk of 2008 and 2009. She still destroys anything hit short in the court and can end points with her forehand at will. But her serve hasn’t regained its pre-surgery form. Case in point: Yesterday against Heather Watson, a teenager ranked outside the Top 100, Sharapova served five aces, eight double faults and had her serve broken five times. She’ll need to improve that facet of her game to advance into the second week because Agnieszka Radwanska (12) and Julia Goerges (19) lurk down the line. At least, Sharapova won’t have to go through the woman that defeated her in this year’s Wimbledon finals, Petra Kvitova (5). The big lefty continued her post-Wimbledon hangover with an uninspiring straight sets loss to Alexandra Dulgheru on Monday.

Must-See Second Round Match (First Round is Completed): Julia Goerges (19) vs. Laura Pous-Tio
Goerges has the most potential from anyone remaining in this quarter.

Potential Early Upset: 2nd Round, Tsvetana Pironkova over Shuai Peng (13)
Initially, this was Lucie Safarova (27) over Kvitova in the third round but then this happened. Pironkova saves her best for the majors.

Quarterfinal: Agnieszka Radwanska (12) vs. Maria Sharapova (3)
Radwanska took Sharapova down in the 3rd round of the 2007 U.S. Open…

Semifinalist: Sharapova (3)
 …but has lost to her in their six meetings since then.

VERA ZVONAREVA’S QUARTER
This section of the draw epitomizes the weird, unpredictable present state of women’s tennis. Last year’s finalist Vera Zvonareva (2) is the highest seed and does everything well — serving, groundstrokes, movement. She can, however, get unnerved at times. Marion Bartoli (8) is an eccentric genius with tons of moxie — her victory over Serena Williams at this year’s Wimbledon was an inspiring triumph — and, unfortunately, an equal amount of inconsistencies. Samantha Stosur (10) flaunts a fearsome serve and forehand combo, but, for some reason, has regressed following her run to the 2010 French Open final. There’s also a talented youngster (Sabine Lisicki), a steady, unspectacular veteran (Nadia Petrova) and a seven-time Grand Slam champion that has played three tournaments all year (the unseeded Venus Williams).

Must-See Second Round Match: Venus Williams vs. Sabine Lisicki (22)
Williams will have to shake the rust off early. This match’s winner is the favorite to make the quarterfinals.

Potential Early Upset: 2nd Round, Christina McHale over Marion Bartoli (8)
McHale is a young American that scored an impressive win earlier this month over world No. 1 Caroline Wozniacki.

Quarterfinal: Nadia Petrova (24) vs. Sabine Lisicki (22)
Again, this is the most volatile quarter in the women’s draw. Petrova and Lisicki have both had decent summer seasons and there’s always a dark horse, right?

Semifinalist: Lisicki (22)
Lisicki is one of the few players that can win loads of free points on her serve.

Semifinals

Williams (28) over Petkovic (10)
Williams will devour Petkovic’s weak second serve and apply pressure from the opening game.

Sharapova (3) over Lisicki (22)
This would be a rematch of this summer’s Wimbledon semifinal. Expect a similar score line: Sharapova in straight sets.

Finals
Williams (28) over Sharapova (3)
Sharapova is one of the few players that can hang with Williams from the baseline but Williams has the best serve in the history of women’s tennis to fall back on.

Thomas Golianopoulos is a writer living in New York City whose work has appeared in The New York Times, New York Observer, Spin, Vibe and a few other places. You can follow him on Twitter.

Photo by The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.

Here is something good: Houston mayor Annise Parker has declared today, August 30th, 2011, “Bun B Day” in her city. Bun, who made up one half of the rap duo UGK until his partner Pimp C died in 2007, and is now is about to start his second semester teaching a course on Religion and Hip Hop Culture In America at Rice University, is actually from nearby Port Arthur. But he is easily awesome enough to cross municipal borders.

Recently discovered cave art in Wales, believed to be Britain’s oldest wall carving, depicts a reindeer that has been stabbed.

Were you thinking about Haiti, while the east coast of the U.S. was under varying levels of attack from earthquakes and hurricanes? Well, 19 months after the quake, things are not great! For instance, there are nearly 600,000 people still leaving in tent camps, which are becoming permanent ways of living.

“We have NGOs telling us, we are packing up and leaving at the end of this month,” said Emmanuelle Schneider, spokeswoman for the U.N. Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs, who blames a lack of funding for the departures. “Of the $300 million consolidated appeal the U.N. system is requesting to cover humanitarian needs, only 52 percent has been funded.”

But that’s not the rough part: “Population explosions after a disaster are nothing new. But in a country already rattled by a collapsed health system, cholera epidemic and now sordid conditions in congested camps, experts say they are worried about the impact. Adding to the concerns are conditions under which the pregnancies are occurring: insecurity and rapes in the camps despite increased U.N. peacekeeper patrols, lack of education and medical services, and desperation among girls, some as young as 13.” Still, a big caveat: there’s no numbers for this “population explosion” (not that such numbers would exactly be easy to gather!) so I’m not all in on this. But it does seem possible that there could maybe be a relationship between the government-funded Christian charity movement in Haiti and unintended pregnancy.

Scene From ‘When Harry Met Sally’ Used To Illustrate Newspaper Story About Sex For Historic Millionth Time

“Meg Ryan showed how women fake orgasms in When Harry Met Sally, but when they’re not faking them, they are more likely to fall in love with a man after sex”

Look, I realize that race is a social construct, that ethnicity and religion are simply affiliations based on tradition and location, and when it comes down to it we are all the same under the skin and that to somehow prize your own racial/ethnic/religious group above others, to attribute it with specific superiorities, is to fall prey to the same small-minded tribalism that has been the cause of so much bloodshed and conflict throughout human history. As a rational human being I know all this. I do. Still, there’s some part of me that can’t help but be disappointed every time I am reminded that Jews can be stupid too.