Spam Dad

by Alan Hanson


Whats up Alanhanson09, my son —

What if I told you, you could get any girls you wanted to fuck, right now, in your area? I guess you would doubt that, but fact is, everyone no matter what you are, how old or young, how much money you can make, CAN…haha really! I mean, i COULD, but I guess the SEVENTIES were a bit different, you and I

you and I? we are pretty similar, i have a $10,000 business offer i want to share with you my business. See, I own a business by age 25, actually, what have you done by age 25 is a good question, AND if you help me transfer these multi funds a Finders fee can be pen-pal’d to you on the IMMEDIATE arrival of my

which sadly is, even though all of our dissagreements are lush and inexpensive, basicly, inevitable ;-).

LOSE WEIGHT WITH THIS ONE EASY TRICK I TAUGHT MYSELF WHEN I WAS IN GRAMMER SCHOOL which mainly is 2 shed yr emotions, for you carry far 2 much mental baggage, are far 2 sensitive, to transfer these funds, or be trade in yr pounds for PROTEIN and make me proud in physical battle or your very own baseball stadium., a far more profitable income than drama department et ceteras and MAKEUP?! no

The point is, my dear son, there are just tons of drip wet singles in your area looking to fuck in youre area just like your lazy friends are looking to fuck around, especially that CL1NT character, isnt it WELL KNOWN SECRET that denim jackets w// lambswool lining are KNOWN STONERS ship free legal marijuana substitutes

but you dont even work hard for even anything FREE CHEAP EASY you say NEON GLOW METROPOLIS MAKESHIF LIFE but we already covered that, again, yo u are me, my biological son, recepient of funds.

MILFS in your general vicinity no longer exist and 4 that I am TRULY the most apology, your mother gone and with allimony relief accounts AFRICAN PRINCE transfer and GRATIS visits tues & thurs, every other weekend, negotiable holidays, paypal, venmoes, or cashier cheques faded in place of memory of your young face its ok if she do not REMEMBER you we have made many discount on divorce lawyers in your area.

All in all, the main takeaway is nondifferential highly transferrable currencies of LOVE in your main heart area and protection, solemn old culture and BRASH ways, we reflect and hold delicate balance before I reimburse you,the continuing correspondance? the continuation of familial regeneration?

Please to respond quickly. I eagerly await your forgiving response! Flaws aside, much mutual beneficiary will be made.


Alan Hanson is a Californian writer living in Harlem.