Football Pick Haikus For Week 6

Thursday, October 11

Pittsburgh -6 At Tennessee

Troy Polamalu
Is injured again. Titans avoid
an execution. PICK: TITANS.

Biden -3 v. Ryan

Joe’s always gaffe-prone
but Ryan tends to just make
shit completely up. PICK: BIDEN

Sunday, October 14

Cincinnati -1 At Cleveland

I grew up Democrat.
I have a soft spot for all
pathetic losers. PICK: BROWNS

At NY Jets -3.5 Indianapolis

The Colts won last week
for their hospitalized coach.
Jets lose just because. PICK: COLTS

At Tampa Bay -4 Kansas City

Kansas City cheered
When their quarterback got hurt.
Terrible karma. PICK: BUCS

At Atlanta -9 Oakland

Raiders’ quarterback
Tells the media the team should
Run the ball more! Yikes! PICK: FALCONS

At Baltimore -3.5 Dallas

Baltimore, at least
The Ravens are still awesome.
And crabs are yummy. PICK: RAVENS

At Philadelphia -4 Detroit

These teams both aren’t that
good but Philly fans’ anger
keeps them warm at night. PICK: EAGLES

At Miami -3.5 St. Louis

The Dolphins’ defense
gets potent penetration.
Yes, that’s what she said. PICK: RAMS

New England -3.5 At Seattle

Seattle Front Four
could get to Brady but he’ll
just hand the ball off. PICK: PATRIOTS

At Arizona -4.5 Buffalo

Cards will bounce back
The Bills will keep it close and
I will eat nachos. PICK: CARDS

At Washington -2 Minnesota

Carrie on “Homeland”
is a huge Redskins fan but
she’s super crazy. PICK: VIKINGS

At San Francisco -6.5 NY Giants

Playoff preview game.
Something tells me Alex Smith
will be sacked a lot. PICK: GIANTS

At Houston -3.5 Green Bay

Aaron Rogers should
Discount Doublecheck himself
and then play better. PICK: HOUSTON

Monday, October 15

At San Diego -1.5 Denver

Broncos play better
in the Mile High Air at home
but the Chargers stink. PICK: BRONCOS

Last week’s Haiku Picks went 7–7. That’s 35–41–1. Mary-help-of-Christians, Pray for us.

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.