Football Pick Haikus For Week 4


At Baltimore -12 Cleveland

Browns have a chance if
all the Ravens players get
themselves arrested. PICK: BROWNS


New England -4 At Buffalo

Last time the Pats lost
three games straight Massasoit
was the quarterback. PICK: PATS

At Detroit -5 Minnesota

Lions’ coach’s weird
plan to lose in overtime
last week worked out great. PICK: LIONS

At Atlanta -7 Carolina

Atlanta’s in first!
They also take an early

San Francisco -4 At NY Jets

Jets without Revis
aren’t much to write home about.
Let Tim Tebow ref! PICK: 49ers

San Diego -1 At Kansas City

The Chargers’ bad loss
last week reminds us that their
coach is terrible. PICK: CHARGERS

At Houston -12 Tennessee

Arian Foster
has become a true Vegan.
Titans’ D meat-free! PICK: TEXANS

Seattle -2.5 At St. Louis

After stealing the
game Monday night the Seahawks
might rob a few banks. PICK: SEAHAWKS

At Arizona -5.5 Miami

Not to jinx them but
the Cardinals look like the best
team in the league. PICK: CARDS

At Denver -6.5 Oakland

In the Mile High Air,
Janikowski makes field goals
from the parking lot. PICK: RAIDERS

Cincinnati -2.5 At Jacksonville

Fans might want to bring
that new J.K. Rowling book
to all Jags’ home games. PICK: BENGALS

At Green Bay -7.5 New Orleans

Wouldn’t want to be
a Foot Locker employee
In Green Bay this week. PICK: PACKERS

At Tampa Bay -2.5 Washington

RG3 is great
but the rest of the Redskins
are total horseshit. PICK: Buccaneers

At Philadelphia -1.5 NY Giants

The Giants average
four mystifying losses
during each season. PICK: EAGLES

Monday, October 1

At Dallas -3.5 Chicago

Hope you like defense!
Neither of these offenses
knows how to shoot straight. PICK: BEARS

Last week’s Haiku Picks went 5–11. That is grim. For the season that’s 20–27–1. Rally underpants time!

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.