Football Pick Haikus For Week 3

Thursday, September 20

At Carolina -2.5 NY Giants

Cam Newton versus
Giants’ torched secondary?
I smell barbeque! PICK: PANTHERS

Sunday, September 23

At Chicago -7.5 St. Louis

Jay Cutler is not
one of those quarterbacks that
you want on your team. PICK: RAMS

At Dallas -8 Tampa Bay

Most of Mitt Romney’s
47% are
Dallas Cowboy fans. PICK: COWBOYS

San Francisco -6.5 At Minnesota

There’s something about
Coach Jim Harbaugh that is just
very off-putting. PICK: 49ERS

Detroit -3.5 At Tennessee

If the Titans win,
it will definitely be
because of scab refs. PICK: LIONS

At Washington-3 Cincinnati

RG3 should be
named the new Secretary
of Pure Awesomeness. PICK: WASHINGTON

NY Jets -2.5 At Miami

Darrelle Revis is
so good you never get to
see him on TV. PICK: DOLPHINS

At New Orleans -9 Kansas City

The Saints are better
in Verizon commercials
than Reality. PICK: SAINTS

Buffalo-3 At Cleveland

Picking the Browns to
win every game sounds like a
really lame book deal. PICK: BROWNS

At Indianapolis -3 Jacksonville

Maurice Jones-Drew
will be double-teamed all game.
Jags will get shut out. PICK: COLTS

Philadelphia -3.5 At Arizona

Cast-off quarterback
Kevin Kolb gets revenge like
a cheesesteak gone wrong. PICK: CARDINALS

At San Diego -3 Atlanta

This would make a good
Super Bowl with maybe The
Pixies at Halftime. PICK: FALCONS

Houston -2 At Denver

When Peyton Manning
loses he looks exactly like
that Droopy Dog. PICK: TEXANS

Pittsburgh -4 At Oakland

What’s a great place to
lose one’s virginity? The
Oakland Coliseum. PICK: STEELERS

At Baltimore -3 New England

Ray Lewis, hello.
Please do not hurt my boyfriend
Tom Brady — Thanks, Jim. PICK: PATS

Monday, September 24

Green Bay -3 At Seattle

Seahawks win at home
because of ‘The Twelfth Man’ and
‘The Patchouli Stink.’ PICK: SEAHAWKS

Haiku Picks went 6–9–1 last Week. For the season that’s 15–16–1.

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.