The Worst Sounds In The World

by Matthew Newton

15. Death by electrocution, government sanctioned or otherwise.

14. Human or animal run over, hit, or maimed by a car.

13. Civil War surgeon amputating limbs.

12. Guillotine in use; subsequent lopping and dropping.

11. Monkey having its skull bashed open, brains eaten in the name of impotence-curing cuisine.

10. Cannibal chewing on his own penis.

9. Involuntary dual nipple piercing via meat hooks.

8. Bones breaking and/or cracking.

7. Disembowelment (not even Mel Gibson, Freedom!).

6. Human body ejected through the windshield of an automobile.

5. Drawing and quartering.

4. Reanimated corpse biting into your (or a loved one’s or a stranger’s) neck muscles, jugular vein or assorted sinewy tissues.

3. Hair torn from a scalp, human or otherwise.

2. Frenzied knife-stabbing-a-sandbag sound most often heard in cinematic prison shank scenes, except here.

1. Curb stomp.

Matthew Newton is the publisher/editor at Annals of Americus, a digital journal documenting art and culture in post-empire America. He tweets via @newtonmatthew; has a personal blog too.