Football Pick Haikus For Week 16

December 22

Houston -6 At Indianapolis
Can Indy’s back-up
quarterback beat Houston’s third-
string QB? Who cares. PICK: COLTS

December 24

At Kansas City -2.5 Oakland
Deal with the devil
Chiefs struck to beat the Packers
lasts another week. PICK: CHIEFS

Denver -3 At Buffalo
Tim Tebow comes to
Buffalo, beats the Bills and
parts Niagara Falls. PICK: BRONCOS

At Tennessee -7.5 Jacksonville
This game matches up
Two teams I’d like to contract
out of existence. PICK: JAGUARS

At Cincinnati -4 Arizona
The Bengals need this
to stay in playoff hunt but
they’re still the Bengals. PICK: CARDINALS

At New England -9.5 Miami
The Patriots rest
Tom Brady and Wes Welker.
Start Damon, Affleck. PICK: DOLPHINS

At Baltimore -13 Cleveland
Only on Christmas Eve
Could the Browns battle proudly
to beat this huge spread. PICK: BROWNS

At NY Jets -3 NY Giants
This Game’s Loser should
have to change their name from New
York to New Jersey. PICK: GIANTS

At Washington -6.5 Minnesota
“Luck” is a weird show
on HBO but Andrew Luck
may soon be a Vike. PICK: REDSKINS

At Carolina -7.5 Tampa Bay
I feel sorry for
all twenty devoted fans
of the Buccaneers. PICK:PANTHERS

At Pittsburgh -15 St. Louis
Steelers don’t have a
quarterback, but that shouldn’t
be a big issue. PICK: STEELERS

At Detroit -2.5 San Diego
The Chargers are now
suddenly fierce, just in time
to fire their coach Norv. PICK: LIONS

San Francisco -2.5 At Seattle
Seahawks have won
three straight since I started to
wear their knit green cap PICK: SEAHAWKS

At Dallas -2 Philadelphia
This is a game with
huge playoff implications.
Romo will screw up. PICK: EAGLES

At Green Bay -13 Chicago
’Twas Christmas Night and
nobody should watch this game.
“Peanuts” is better. PICK: BEARS

December 26

At New Orleans -6.5 Atlanta
This is secretly
the league’s best rivalry.
Jambalaya Bowl! PICK: FALCONS

Last week’s Haiku Picks went 11–4! A Holiday Miracle! Season to date is 106–116–6. Can we get to .500?!

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.