The Greatest Beastie Boys Lyrical References To New York, In Order

by John Ore

30. “I’m the Kung Fu Master vs. The Sumo Wrestler
Got the beats in Manhattan you can hear in Westchester
 — “Do It”

29. “I love it when you hit those switches
A curve ball’s what my pitch is
So here we here we come
Like dum ditty dum
I keep all five boroughs in stitches”
 — “The Negotiation Limerick File”

28. “From the Hudson River out to the Nile
I run the marathon til the very last mile”
 — “Intergalactic

27. “I live in The Village wherever I go I walk to
I keep my friends around so I have someone to talk to”
 — “Mike On The Mic (B-Boy Bouillabaisse)”

26. “I got books with hooks and it looks like rain
Would someone on the Knicks please drive the lane”
 — “Unite”

25. “I got my hair cut correct like Anthony Mason
Then I ride the I.R.T. right up to Penn Station
Penn Station up on 8th Ave.
Listen all y’all you get the ball bath”
 — “B-boys Makin’ With the Freak Freak”

24. “Like a buffalo soldier I’m broader than Broadway
Keep keepin’ on I don’t care what they say”
 — “Hello Brooklyn (B-Boy Bouillabaisse)”

23. “Some call it Salugi, some hot potato
I stole your mic but you won’t see it later”
 — “Ch-Check It Out

22. “I’m a hip hop scholar while you’re left back
So Jeckle and Rush go back to LeFrak
 — “Shazam!”

21. “Kings County is my stomping ground
The Albee Square Mall, Brooklyn, Downtown”
 — “Hey Fuck You”

20. “While I’m politickin’ at Murray’s Cheese Shop
Believe what you heard when you talk”
 — “Oh Word?”

19. “I think her name is Lucy but they all call her Loose
I think I thought I seen her on eighth and forty-deuce
 — “She’s Crafty

18. “While you’re at the job working nine to five
The Beastie Boys are at the Garden cold kickin’ it live”
 — “No Sleep ’Til Brooklyn

17. “Went before the judge he sent me to the Brooklyn House of D
He said you behave son or we’ll throw away the key”
 — “High Plains Drifter”

16. “We all dressed in black we snuck up around the back
We began to attack the eggs did crack on Haze’s back”
 — “Egg Man”

15. “I’m like Spoonie Gee
Well I’m the metropolitician”
 — “So What’Cha Want

14. “Like George Whipple on New York One
Got a hairy ass and that’s no fun”
 — “That’s It That’s All”

13. “I’ll be in the paper, the news with Ernie Anastos
They’ll even print my recipe for pasta with pesto”
 — “Finger Lickin’ Good”

12. “Fresh dressed ’cause I shop at Modell’s
Deep in Brooklyn and I rode the els”
 — “The Hard Way”

11. “So many wack M.C.’s
You get the T.V. bozack
Ain’t even gonna call out your names ’cause you’re so wack
But one big oaf whose faker than plastic
A dictionary definition of the word spastic”
 — “Professor Booty”

10. “He knows the time with the fresh Gucci watch
He’s even more over than my mayor Ed Koch
 — “Johnny Ryall”

9. “Every mornin’ took the train to the High Street Station
Doin’ homework on the train what a fucked up situation”
 — “Root Down”

8. “Predetermined destiny is who I am
You got your finger on the trigger like the Son of Sam
 — “Looking Down The Barrel Of A Gun

7. “Get my BVDs from VIM
You know I’m reppin’ Manhattan the best I can”
 — “An Open Letter to NYC

6. “Pick pocket gangsters paying their debts
I caught a bullet in the lung from Bernard Goetz
 — “Stop That Train (B-Boy Bouillabaisse)”

5. “Your old lady left you and you went insane
You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 train
 — “Hey Ladies

4. “Look over here, like I live in Hell?
I’m running wild like rats in Taco Bell
 — “Long Burn The Fire”

3. “Because being bad news is what we’re all about
We went to White Castle and we got thrown out”
 — “Slow Ride”

2. “So I’m out pickin’ pockets at the Atlantic Antic
And nobody wants to hear you cause your rhymes are so frantic”
 — “Shadrach

1. “Yo, man, Cookiepuss there?
Cookiepuss, I want to speak to Cookiepuss, man
No, noboby here by that name”
 — “Cooky Puss”

John Ore is a writer, a poet, a genius, I know it.