Eight Questions to Ask Yourself This Weekend

• Why aren’t you charging more to tweet?

• Why aren’t you marrying some dole-slob from England?

• What the hell are you listening to?

• What are you making for Thanksgiving?

• Who are you hate-retweeting today?

• Should you fire your agent?

• Have you ever seen so many pictures of Barack Obama’s backside?

• Should you maybe become a nun? It sounds kinda great.