"Dancing With The Stars" Contestants Ranked In Reverse Order Of Their Ability To Hold My Attention

by Mark Lisanti

• Rick Fox

• David Hasselhoff

• The Raven Kid from Disney, Or Nickelodeon, Or ABC Family Or Wherever Raven Was

• Jennifer Grey

• MargCho

• The Old Quarterback Who Almost Certainly Has Texted His Penis To Someone In The Choir, Just You Wait, It’s Coming Out

• Ma Brady

• Brandy

• Bristol Palin

• The Hot One From “The Hills”

• Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino

• Was Bruce Jenner On This Season? If So, Him

Mark Lisanti is sorry that “Mad Men” is over for the season.