This is pretty much the last thing my mind can handle while having coffee. But yes, good grief, Eliot Spitzer has been trotted out as a character witness for Supreme Court Justice nominee Elene Kagan’s heterosexuality in the world’s most ridiculous Internet show trial that proves the Internet has its head so far inside the Internet’s own butt. (Or maybe he has been hired as an expert witness? He is, after all, extremely conversant in the matters of professional heterosexuality.) Anyway, we were serious the other day when we referred to Kagan as “thoroughly actually heterosexual man-loving,” and, you know what, we are going to consider this matter addressed with total finality. This conversation is OVER!