by Lindsay Robertson
What are the Christians up to these days? Rapping! Or, well, “rapping.” Still. But in a weird new TV-show-referencing way. This video comes courtesy of an honest-to-goodness Mom email forward: It’s a middle-aged lady, Tamara Lowe, doing her trademark “rap,” which is about cramming as many pop culture proper nouns into one singsongy poem as possible. (And God, and the Bible.)
The old guy’s “ha. ha. ha. ha.” laugh at the end is so appropriate.
If you enter “Tamara Lowe” into YouTube, you’ll find a bunch of videos of Tamara performing this same exact singsongy poem with approximated rap roots and gesticulations at motivational seminars and on shows like The 700 Club, all from the past six months or so (the above video has over 600,000 views). Many of the YouTube commenters are critical, either because they think rap is inherently satanic or they think Mrs. Lowe is too rich and famous to be delivering her message. (Cough: the bracelet!) Lowe doesn’t seem to have any other raps, just this one, and it’s amusing to imagine her practicing it for weeks in front of her mirror at home. (“Not now, Jonah, Mommy is rapping! Go watch your Veggie Tales!”)
Tamara Lowe and her husband Peter Lowe run a series of motivational seminars called “Get Motivated!” whose keynote speakers have included George W. Bush (his much-ballyhood post-Presidential speaking debut last fall was at a “Get Motivated!” seminar), Bill Clinton, Colin Powell, and Goldie Hawn (Yes, Goldie Hawn.) Wikipedia says of Lowe:
She describes her ascent from drug addict and dealer with an 8th grade education to a person who has met 6 U.S. presidents and has earned a Masters degree.
She’s probably met 6 U.S. presidents because her business pays them outrageous speaking fees, but no matter. Lowe describes her testimony as going “from LSD to PhD!” But we shouldn’t make fun of her too much, actually, because she sort of disses Fox News in her rap.
This is the introductory video that plays before every “Get Motivated” seminar. It’s about motivation (and the dictionary definition, of course), and how “motivation was the drive behind” many great historical moments. Well, no shit, motivation is the drive behind all actions. That’s why it’s called “motivation.” It’s synonymous with “drive.” So the video is very vague, but you have to hand it to them for diversity. And for trying to get away with something in supreme last-minute fourth-grade report style.
Anyway, that’s what the Christians are up to right now.
Previously: Old Christian Videos: Amy Grant’s ‘Lead Me On’
Lindsay Robertson writes about pop culture and weird videos for places like Vulture and Jezebel, and about celebrity hair for Yahoo!.