Remember that “I Love Lucy” episode where Lucy and Ethel take jobs in the chocolate factory and the conveyor belt starts pumping out candy faster than they can pack it in the wrappers so they start stuffing their faces and cleavage with the excess, cowering from the intimidating factory matron? That’s kind of what it’s like to work for Demand Media, as I found out during a brief, ill-fated stint as a freelance copy editor at the 17th largest web property in the U.S. this summer.
Fast Company took a look recently at some offices of the 'future,' which, ha, who's going to work in offices in the future? Among others, they look at Macquarie, which is where Prison Island trading floor drones watch porn while their coworkers are doing live TV spots. One bit that is of interest is making plans that deal with the fact that, in offices, people don't actually work so much! (Hence: the existence of blogs!) The average complete workforce turnout is 50% of headcount. So they are underbuilding office plans now: "At Macquarie, 50% attendance translates to 85% occupancy in the new office." So, some day in [...]
How boring and human is it to think that the female crab spider would change colors to ward off predators and cajole plasma-swollen bugs into webs? Pshaw. Who drinks blood anymore? Vampires are out! Centaurs are in! Fashion spiders are innest of all! Stop scratching your heads scientist-people! Don't be all up in de rigeur arachnid biznass, harshing the mellow, weezin' the juice, and trying to divine some sort of evolutionary FUNCTION for the spider looking appropriately resort seasonish on a resort seasonish flower. There are no reasons, there is only FASHION! Fashion that maybe should crush these delicate exoskeletons to make pigment because these bitches WORK. Unless crushing [...]
One thing that happens is that you stop speaking altogether. One Thursday afternoon, shifting between various gchats—all with friends bored in their cubicles at offices across the city—I realized that I hadn’t said a word out loud in close to 18 hours. So I said "test" out loud. For a split second, before the word came out, I was actually worried about whether or not I was still able to speak. After I found that I could, I then worried about the fact that I had been legitimately worried about this.
I had stopped shaving. I mostly dressed like “Jonah Hill at the beach” or “Kristen Stewart on laundry [...]
For last summer's college break, I was looking for work that would lead to lots of "networking" and "opportunity." I ended up at a retirement home, washing dishes at minimum wage for sixty hours a week. I trained and was then replaced by a deaf, mentally challenged gentleman.
This summer, I'm an intern at an international, multi-billion dollar company. I'm not sure exactly how this happened. I do know it started on the Internet. I blogged about a product I liked-right as the product's creators simultaneously started their initial online advertising campaign.
"They abuse power as much as bankers do, and they make the average person feel insecure about themselves: â€˜Why am I not Sarah Jessica Parker?' It gets very existential, because you first got into it because you were interested in these artists, but these folks are not artists, they're just famous." -Joanna Molloy understands gossip folk.
Now that American finance capital has laid waste to much of the productive economy, Newsweek weighs in with the question that eventually occurs to all fretful magazine editors in the face of a crisis: What about the children? Or more precisely, what about the generation of striving Americans coming of an age when the lords of finance live in a state of plush federal retainership-and old-economy perks such as pensions, benefits and job security now seem like a sick joke?
For young people launching their tours in the workforce, explains Newsweek reporter Rana Foroohar, it's hard to summon much in the way of free-spending pluck.
Now this is how it's done, kids! "Blogging will be relatively light for the next six days as the Key West Business Guild is bringing me down on a press junket to cover Fantasy Fest…. Full disclosure: The Guild is paying for our airfare, lodging, meals, excursions-the whole shebang. Fuller disclosure: I'm completely open to similar offers from the cities of Rio de Janeiro, Barcelona, Mykonos, Sitges…." I didn't even know where Sitges was, I had to Google it!
A friend of mine recently graduated with a degree in public relations, minor in journalism. It was a pragmatic concentration balance on its face: one of these fields represented at least a modicum of investment toward gainful employment, the other did not. In a different time, my friend, we’ll call her Fiona, may have given herself over to the romantic notion of the well-traveled journalist, marrying her wanderlust and literary inclinations to a desire to do something in the interest of the public good. But she believed in realism and clear-eyed ambition. Cautious that the budgets to buoy any latent journalistic aspirations had gone the way of the dodo, [...]
No one wants to hear about the dreary plight of working, let alone nonworking, Americans in our grand consumer republic. The whole subject is a colossal downer-and as a recent Pew poll shows, Americans are, despite all evidence to the contrary, strung out on uplift. They believe that in the near future, we will have cured cancer, sloughed off our fossil fuel dependency, created a race of talking computers, and even-oh, what the hell-revived extinct animal species. Sure, there will also be nuclear terrorist attacks and another world war-but that, of course, is just the price of admission for the return of Jesus, an event that 41% of [...]
The Chicagoland rail system Metra, thanks to some budget constraints and a refusal to bombard passengers with the sort of infotainment they're confronted with in elevators, won't have on-board wi-fi anytime soon. This even though a study commissioned for the state of Illinois claimed that doing so could "have positive impacts on traffic congestion, traffic safety, the economy, and other aspects of the quality of life Illinoisans enjoy." (Look at the "positive impacts" being experienced by the man in the photo at left, which was borrowed from a sales pitch for a company that provides this service!)
"Things Co-Workers Have Shown Me That Are Worse Than A Sports-Bra," by a lady who apparently works at Gomorrah Slag and Harlot LLP:
* bites on chest sustained during sex with bitey new guy.
* various and sundry rashes
* impressive bruises all over butt from being (consensually) spanked
* the place on the floor of an office where sex was had the night before, including the wet spot.