Posts tagged as Whatever
"O" Book Written by Man
Well that didn't take too long: Mark Salter has been "officially" fingered as the author of O, the fictionalized, non-sadomasochistic work of fiction about the president, written by someone described by the publisher as someone who "has been in the room with Barack Obama." You remember Mark Salter as the man who writes everything for John McCain. Oh I see. Political ops. The book has been in print for two days. "Trite, implausible and decidedly unfunny," says the New York Times!
'New York Observer' Loses Straight Man, Gains Woman and Gay
New York Observer revolving door update, for the two people playing along at home: This week alone, one straight man out—but one woman and one gay hired! Don't everyone get all excited at once. Back to your desks!
Yay! We're Going to Stop Spending Money on Defense and Give it to the Schools!
That is what's going to happen, right, when we don't pass the defense reauthorization bill, because of the Don't Ask Don't Tell repeal rider on it, yes? Susan Collins, Republican of Maine, "who backs repeal of the policy, said she would nonetheless vote against moving forward with debate because of a dispute with the Senate majority leader, Harry Reid of Nevada, over whether Republicans would be allowed to offer amendments to the bill." So, you know, LOL, good to know, they are not going to take these gays and (legal, and not government-funded!) abortions and having the Mexicans in our Army, so there are not 60 Senators who are going to pass the military spending bill. Some people are still afraid of that little gnome John McCain, who's all insanely atwitch about gays in his military. Also, maybe Mexicans actually aren't the new Irish. I guess they can only be the new Irish if they invade Canada, not Iraq.
Mini-Footnotes of Mad Men: "The Last Alpha Male"
According to their press release, Jon Hamm is on the cover of the October Details: "After years of struggling, Jon Hamm finally arrived with Mad Men, creating a style icon who's come to help us rediscover our lost masculine cool. He is...THE LAST ALPHA MALE." Haha, okay! The last, you say! Bonus fun profile sentence: "Hamm's high-school girlfriend's older brother's college roommate was an eager actor named Paul Rudd." And a spoiler alert: worst so-obviously editor-inserted last sentence of a magazine profile ever. Should have been headlined Jon Hamm Has A Sad.
Financial Reform Bill: Eh, Don't Worry About It!
Do you not understand the Senate Financial Regulation Overhaul bill that passed yesterday? Have you been struggling to make sense of it in this morning's papers and blogs? We come with good tidings: don't bother! We now enter the long, boring process of reconciliation of the passed Senate bill with the House bill, that passed some six months ago now. There's a rather dull chart that highlights some of the major differences between the two, but you know what? You don't even have to worry about that. The mutated offspring that will emerge all bloody and feet-first will probably be a totally different kettle of fish. (... Sorry about that.) So, unless you're one of the 3000 lobbyists in the $1.3 billion finance reform lobbying industry, you don't really need to worry your pretty head. The bill contains provisions like the merging of the "Office of Thrift Supervision into the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency"! What does that mean to you? Not much! The Senate bill was nearly 1600 pages. You know who's read that? Nobody!
Agency Of Toothless Incompetents Watched Country, Porn Stars Get Screwed Simultaneously
"As the country was sinking into its worst financial crisis in more than 70 years, Security and Exchange Commission employees and contractors cruised porn sites and viewed sexually explicit pictures using government computers, according to an agency report obtained by CNN." I'm not sure what everyone is so upset about here: These were bored office workers! What else were they supposed to do? Regulate? Investigate obvious cases of fraud and other financial chicanery? These guys already had one arm tied behind their back; I applaud them for at least using the other one to jerk off with.
But ASDljkdfasdf; COULD Make Other Volcanoes Happen, Says Someone
EVEN THOUGH other volcanoes besides Iceland's Asdlfjasdfasdf; aren't blowing up, it doesn't mean they couldn't, report scientists, newspapers hungry for filler.
Bill Thompson To Replenish His Busted Coffers
Oh, remember that guy, who was almost mayor of New York City, and maybe would be if you'd turned out to vote? He had to go and get a job.
Water-Milk Last Beverage Option for Socialist America's Malnourished Tweens
After Congress comes back from its Hot Spring Break or whatever, the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010 [PDF!] is out of committee and awaiting arguing and posturing and maybe voting. It'll expand food programs for low-income children pretty radically, from what we can tell. Which is great! On the other hand, some kids have too much food, or something, and they are storing it in their bodies, so the bill will, in its Food Death Panels section, take food away from them in the form of giving them food that is barely food. Also the bill would cause schools to maybe stop feeding children millions of pounds in recalled meats, but whatever. Also! It will make sure that all children only drink skim milk, according to the Times: "For example, milk is the biggest single source of saturated fat on the lunch line. The bill would allow only skim milk to be offered, banning whole and 2 percent milk." While this is not actually stated anywhere in the bill, at all, that is possibly true! Because what we know now is that milk is what makes children obese.
Famous Person Has Press Conference on TV
This morning, a famous person held a press conference, in which he talked about himself. He said, while speaking about himself, that he'd been selfish.
