Posts Tagged: What?
8

Forget It, Jake, It's Kristallnacht

"Five days on, the commentariat continues to drop anvils on Tom Perkins, who may have written the most-read letter to the editor in the history of The Wall Street Journal. The irony is that the vituperation is making our friend's point about liberal intolerance—maybe better than he did."

Ha ha, how on earth.

7

What Was Brooklyn? A Deeper Look At The Corcoran Tumblr

We generally leave our daily trolling of the Corcoran "10 a.m. special" Tumblr to our own Tumblr but this is special. Today's Corcoran "special" is a $1.05 million two-bedroom apartment in downtown Brooklyn, at a little over 1000 square feet, which, that's not okay already. But what's this bit of staging??? LET'S ZOOM IN TOGETHER.

Spanish lesson. Coffee. Smile. Weekends. Theatre. Travel. Never Look Back. And a few intriguing illegibles. Maybe Frank O'Hara is still alive—and brokering real estate.

Someone needs to hold Brooklyn's face in a bucket of water until it vomits and drowns.

4

Huffington Post and Goldman Sachs Have Make-Out Session at Davos

Would you like to read something weird? Here is a Goldman Sachs press release headlined "OP-ED, THE HUFFINGTON POST – ARIANNA HUFFINGTON AND LLOYD C. BLANKFEIN DISCUSS OUR COMMON GOAL: EMPOWERING ENTREPRENEURS AND CREATING JOBS."

I mean, some of it is true! Goldman Sachs does indeed mentor women all over the world in creating small businesses, and their 10,000 Women project is actually one of the most interesting programs in the world. And then there's this: This past summer, The Huffington Post broke new ground in the way the media commonly report economic news. Frustrated by the relentless coverage of disaster, tragedy and scandal in traditional media sources, The [...]

2

"The Greening of Gitmo"

"In this remote corner of Cuba that is better known as a lab for Pentagon justice and interrogation, the U.S. Navy has been quietly engaging in more low-profile offshore experimentation — seeking environmentally friendly alternatives to reduce its whopping $100,000-a-day fossil fuel dependence." —I hope they're making all the unconstitutionally detained prisoners make their own natural soaps!

9

The Scariest High School Elective Ever

Criminology was taught by one Buddy Longo, a figure of legend around the halls of SHHS. I have no idea how Buddy was qualified to teach the class, other than the fact that he knew a lot of cops and had a friend who was supposedly some kind of former spy, who came in one day to show us the Zapruder film ("Look how his head comes off! Like the lid of a cookie jar.") Buddy LOVED serial killers, and would enrapture us with stories about Edmund Kemper eating his mother's larynx like he was reading "Make Way for Ducklings" to preschoolers.

Every high school should have [...]

10

Hamptons Jitney "Not Amused" by Mockery

“It’s not okay with the people here. At one point you can see she was in our offices.” —A spokesperson for the Hampton Jitney says the "company is not amused" and apparently hasn't ruled out some sort of legal action (LOL?) against Nina Katchadourian, creator of the song and video "The Jitney's Just a Fucking Bus."

3

Wayne Koestenbaum Gives Free, Wonderfully Terrible Advice

Did you know that Wayne Koestenbaum, poet and cultural critic, has basically launched a video advice column? Obviously he is doing this to promote his forthcoming book, Humiliation. The best part is his advice is not really that good! By a prevailing standard, at least. He seems to seek an embrace of humiliation, while most of us would rather flee. And he does bravely address the most heinous topics on earth….

1

Why Do You Keep Making Cops Shoot People, Crazy Man?

So far all anyone has to say about the Manhattan District Attorney charging a crazy man with assault because two cops opened fire on him (while he was unarmed) and shot bystanders is… "wait, what?"

This is also pretty choice: After his arrest, Mr. Broadnax was taken to Bellevue Hospital Center, where he told a detective that “he was talking to dead relatives in his head and that he tried throwing himself in front of cars to kill himself,” according to a court document released on Wednesday.

A judge ordered a mental evaluation, and a psychiatrist later found Mr. Broadnax competent to stand trial, Ms. Appling said.

Either [...]

11

The Real Weird Twitter Is Espionage Twitter

The concept of people typing Dadaist humor on Twitter has existed since Twitter got its first big batch of smart-ass users in 2007, at that year's SxSW. Twitter was suddenly the place to get breaking news on inconsequential online-media events. Also, it was full of banter and inside jokes and drunken jabbering. It became fun, because a lot of bored funny people now had a way to narrowcast every oddball thought to people who might appreciate that kind of nonsense.

Only last year did anyone refer to this as a certain thing, Weird Twitter. My own Twitter feed has always been weird, because I follow a lot of [...]

2

The NDA Generation

We don't make fun of children, so we won't, because it's all their parents' doing. (And also, these kids are totally adorable and funny.) But everything else aside in this hot mess… who taught pre-tweens about non-disclosure agreements? That is not right. I thank the universe every day that I'll be dead when you kids are running the world. [via]

15

Bizarre Candidate Warns Against American Executions of Monarchs

Potential American president Rick Santorum isn't even pretending to make sense anymore: "When you marginalize faith in America, when you remove the pillar of God-given rights, then what’s left is the French Revolution. What’s left is the government that gives you right, what’s left are no unalienable rights, what’s left is a government that will tell you who you are, what you’ll do and when you’ll do it. What’s left in France became the guillotine."

7

Powerful Lady Talks Unusually

"So Ms. Abramson's 20-25 Hz phrase-final amplitude modulation of her 140-145 Hz fundamental frequency is heard as a sort of superimposed infrasound. (Technically "infrasound" should be below 20 Hz, but this is close.) 140 Hz is not unusually low for the bottom of an adult woman's pitch range — but 20-25 Hz is low for humans of any kind…. [T]his is first time that I've ever seen such a large-factor amplitude modulation so stably superimposed on a speaker's sequence of pitch pulses." —So Times executive editor Jill Abramson is apparently a freak of nature.

34

Well, This Happened

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Who do I have to bang to get an advance copy of the new @coldplay album? I mean, really.less than a minute ago via WhoSay Favorite Retweet ReplyGwyneth PaltrowGwynethPaltrow

Well, this happened.

21

The Lars von Trier Trailer: WHAT???

I have a new title suggestion for the 1. new Lars von Trier movie that 2. stars Kirsten Dunst that is about 3. OUTER SPACE: let us just call it WTF. (Also, I guess this marks a final break with Dogme 95, ya know?)

10

EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET IS FAKE AND CONNECTED AND SUCKS AND WE ARE PAWNS UGH

UM. So long, Horse_ebooks and Pronunciation Book! Because:

the creators of the two accounts, Jacob Bakkila and Thomas Bender, will prove that they are indeed human, appearing in a performance that is the final flourish in this suite of conceptual-art pieces, weaving together Horse_ebooks and Pronunciation Book

HOLY SHIT, WE ARE ALL DUPES. I don't understand anything. NO NO NO. We thought Alexey Kouznetsov was @horse_ebooks? And that… IDK BuzzFeed something something has dirty hands into this? UGH. *climbs into hole screaming* OH NO:

Bear Stearns Bravo

— Horse ebooks (@Horse_ebooks) September 24, 2013

23

Slate Complete

My poor friend Dan Kois. Apparently he lost a big bet, and had to write a bizarre and maniacal Slate piece to prove that literally anything could be denounced in a counterintuitive Andy Rooney freakout. And here it is: "Tilting your seat back on an airplane is pure evil." His solution: don't bother replacing the seats, just outlaw people from reclining in them. AM I STILL ASLEEP UP HERE IN MY FULLY FLAT BUSINESS CLASS SEAT, IS THIS A SURREAL DREAM???

3

Does Your Nanny Drive a Zamboni?

The Pavillion Agency's vice president Seth Norman Greenberg "has also known families to prize nannies who can steer a 32-foot boat, help manage an art collection or, in one case, drive a Zamboni to clean a private ice rink." —This "economy of nannies" story is amazing.

31

'Times' Poll: Should or Should We Not Print Lies?

Everyone is pretty aghast and/or in stitches over today's weird and kinda embarrassing escapade by the New York Times public editor, Arthur Brisbane: "I’m looking for reader input on whether and when New York Times news reporters should challenge 'facts' that are asserted by newsmakers they write about." Not just when; whether! A list of people currently making fun of this runs from editors of city papers to New Yorker correspondents to totally random unemployed people to… well, the Times staffers are all sitting on their hands right now. GOSH, HOW THAT MUST BURN.

How does this argument even go, anyway? PRO: Sure! Let the record reflect whatever [...]

15

A Fresh Foot: The Great Canadian Severed Feet Mystery

"Tuesday’s discovery marks the eighth foot to be found on the B.C. coast since August 2007. Three more have washed up in nearby Washington…. All of the feet discovered so far have been in running shoes." But who are missing the feet? Yeah, here's the Wikipedia page, Encyclopedia Brown. (via)

18

"French 18th-century furniture was in serious trouble"!!!

Here's the most needlessly dramatic sentence you'll read today: "The curtain is slowly coming down on the lifestyle of the old Western world establishment, and the impact on the art market is spectacular."

NO, NOT THE CURTAIN!!! COMING DOWN! On the old Western world establishment! Aaaaagh!

Anyway, there is something of a mini-debacle in auction-land? All of the old garbage from the Lyons Demesne, in County Kildare, which is itself for sale, built 1785, was sold, but not for very much money! And this sale is rendered in the most vicious phrasing imaginable! "The monumental portrait of Mrs. Thomas Edwards Freeman done around 1778 made a laughable [...]