This is how Showtime kicked off their double season finale of "Dexter" and "Homeland" last night. There are so many things that ring strange about this disclaimer. The language for one, though I recognize that likely a team of people wrestled with how to communicate this, and I feel for them. "In light of" is not the right phrase. "That may be" is too damning: "That may be" essentially means "That some may find." So: Some of you may find these images disturbing; some of you may be callous and dead inside, and/or east coast liberal elites.
Start your hoarding! Today is the last day that Four Loko may be brought into the gated City of New York. Aunty Entity has forbidden Four Loko in her Nanny State Thunderdome! Here's a preview of what this weekend will look like in the District of the Youngs.
"Hoboken police were dispatched to the 300 block of Marshall Dr., and a 20-year-old Jersey City woman was crying and told police that her boyfriend punched her a few times and hit her with a 'feline cat,' reports said. She said she had pain to her lower back and the back of her head, reports said." -Wow. I've been surprised at the lack of mayhem in the Garden State lately. I was thinking maybe the rest of state's residents had thrown in the towel 'til Snooki moved to Hollywood for good. But yesterday, in Jersey City, a man was arrested for attacking a woman with a cat. The [...]
The other day a gang of jobless local yobs attacked two "charity walk" trainers, who were clad in workout gear, for being too fancy-but the attacking chav pack had no knives or bottles. The fancy do-gooders are named Fraser and Gareth, so, well, in England, they basically had it coming. But it's not just the youngs who are running this class war! "'There was an older bloke of about 40 and at first when he walked up I thought "Thank God, there's an adult who will calm things down' said Gareth. 'But then I saw he had a key in his hand and he slashed my cheek.'" Margaret [...]
Are girls becoming more violent? Everything you see in the news would lead you to say yes. But a women's studies professor and a researcher with the suspicious sounding name of Mike MALES say no.
"Bernard Madoff, who is serving a 150-year sentence in North Carolina for running a fraud scheme that cost investors billions of dollars, was physically assaulted by another inmate in December, according to three people familiar with the matter…. The former inmate said the dispute centered on money the assailant thought he was owed by Mr. Madoff…. Mr. Madoff spends free time in the prison library on the weekends and often watches movies, including 'Lethal Weapon,' according to the former inmate. He said he chatted with the admitted Ponzi schemer on Saturdays in the library and asked for financial advice: 'He gave me ideas on my index funds.' Mr. [...]
Things mayors shouldn't do when upset with stories that say charges are still open on your alleged participation in a 1948 gang rape: get into a fistfight, on the street, with the publisher of the town newspaper. And then? Have the city attorney say "he started it"! To wit: "The Mayor has indicated [publisher Bob] Zollinger forcefully poked him in the chest with his index finger." Ah, New Mexico. Good grief, ladies! (via)
I would say that the Denny's Brawl Video just beginning to make the rounds is rather a 6 on the scale of the genre, where the 63 Wall Street Fight is a 4 and the Pedicab-Taxi Street Fight is a 5.5, the Muni Fight is an 8, and the Tranny Taco Brawl is a 9. (The Gay Hipster Fight is a 9.8.) Who's inured to violence thanks to the Internet? Who is?
Oh, it's been a while since we last checked in on America's Zero Tolerance For Violence and Bullying Public Schools. I would say they are pretty much still hotbeds of people beating each other up and other people filming them on their phones.
Here is a secret thing I do sometimes, when I'm feeling old: I search for school fight videos on YouTube, and revel in not being in school. Because school is awful, just like this video from Los Banos High School, in beautiful Merced, clearly shows. High school was always a pretty terrible place, with violence and math, the two worst things ever. Just now it's online. Which is very disturbing.
People are hot for The New Theories about violent videogames and violent popular art in relation to the crime rate. Already back in 2008, one study thought perhaps "violent films prevent violent crime by attracting would-be assailants and keeping them cloistered in darkened, alcohol-free environs." Now some are thinking much the same about Grand Theft Auto, et al. (Also probably Mario Brothers. Really do you know what the body count is in Mario, if you count Shellcreepers and Koopa Troopas and whatnot?) Still, the more popular view is still that the insanely high incarceration level is what keeps the current crime rate low-ish. But that sort of neglects the [...]
Is there a more a dangerous place to work than at a McDonald's? Remember last year, when the woman in Florida called 911 three times to report that the McDonald's she was out had run out of chicken McNuggets? And then three months ago, when the woman in Ohio punched through a drive-thru station window for the same reason? Well on Sunday, in South Brunswick, NJ, a man, apparently frustrated that the filet-o-fish he'd ordered at the drive-thru was taking too long to appear, climbed from his car through the pick-up window, slapped an employee inside, grabbed his sandwich and walked out of the restaurant. What [...]
TreacherGate, in case you have not been following the blow-by-blow of the Daily Caller employee (Jim Treacher, real name Sean Medlock) who was viciously assaulted by a State Dept. Security Services SUV, is hotting up tonight. "A second DSS spokeswoman… claimed that 'a jogger collided with one of the U.S. Department of State, Diplomatic Security Service's official vehicles'-as if Medlock, who does not jog, had somehow attacked the SUV." But Tucker Carlson is on the scene.
This weekend, Sunday, December 6th, marks the 40th anniversary of Altamont, the free concert the Rolling Stones put on at a speedway outside San Francisco to end their U.S. tour in 1969. It was meant to be like Woodstock. At a press conference before the event, Mick Jagger said, "It's creating a sort of microcosmic society which sets example to the rest of America as to how one can behave in large gatherings." More than 300,000 people attended. But things went very wrong. Hired as security, but full of acid and beer, the Hells Angels motorcycle club were not on the same blissed-out flower-children vibe as much of the [...]
I've become more and more uncomfortable with "Boy that Jared Loughner is craaaaazy" talk. Like Time's diving in to be servicey: "If You Think Someone is Mentally Ill: Loughner's 6 Warning Signs." Time says it's "easy to see" that he's crazy: because he laughed randomly a lot and posed strange questions! That's literally what those mental health experts over there suggest. Which: uh oh? Am I headed for a psych eval again? But people's first rationale for Loughner being crazy is that he shot a bunch of people. (Their second is that he believed that language enslaved you—yeah, well, so did bell hooks—and something something the gold standard—which, [...]
If only Brad Ferro, a 24-year-old former gym teacher, had, while drunk off shots the color of stop lights, hauled off and smashed in the tanned faces of someone named Ronnie or Vinnie, perhaps then he'd still have his old life. If only he'd taken a step back from that Seaside Heights nightclub bar, dropped his shoulder and thrust his fist violently into the famous abs of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. Or, you know, if only he'd decided not to hit anyone. Perhaps then he wouldn't have been fired from his job, convicted of assault, forced to attend anger management classes and finger-wagged into begging for forgiveness in [...]
So last we checked on Gucci Mane's crony Waka Flocka Flame, it was to marvel at the cover art of his latest mixtape, Lebron Flocka James Pt. 2. What's he been up to since? Well, the Atlanta rapper has had some success with his single "O Let's Do It." He appeared on The Mo'Nique Show last night to perform it. And he surely enjoyed the peekytoe crab salad at Gucci's welcome home party last week. But also, and unfortunately, while filming a video with Gucci on their city's West side, Flocka was confronted by a group of local guys-one of whom was very vociferous in [...]
"Just hours after an historic vote in the House of Representatives to pass Health Care Reform, Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords got her first feedback. Early Monday morning, someone vandalized her Tucson office by kicking or shooting out a front glass door." Either that or someone was really angry about local NCAA betting. Oh wait, no? "Giffords had announced on Friday she would vote 'yes' on the legislation. That followed 10 days of phone calls, many angry and vulgar according to her staff, urging her to vote against the legislation." Oh I see.
Paramedics on Prison Island are calling for a ban on pool cues and glass ashtrays in pubs to prevent attacks. The government of Queensland, Australia, had previously "banned glasses from some pubs and clubs to stop so-called 'glassing' attacks," but enterprising assailants have simply turned to other tools at hand in their apparent war against ambulance workers, approximately 150 of whom were assaulted in the last year. While Queensland's government has indicated that it is willing to consider further legislation, but local publicans are less convinced.