Posts Tagged: Vegetables

Don't Meat the Eggplant

Most summer produce has a cult of worship; there are those who wait all year for the few weeks of tomato season, those who will serve fresh corn with every meal, those who will gorge on peaches until the sweet-tart juice carves furrows into their faces like Grand Canyon erosion writ small. But there is one item which rarely if ever inspires devotion. I’m speaking here of the noble eggplant.

Many people do not like eggplant. Common complaints are that it is spongy, or bitter, or mushy. All of these are symptoms of improper cooking. Because, friends, when eggplant is cooked properly it can achieve something few other fruits [...]


Did You Eat The Bones?

Food marketing is psychotic. It creeps. Smithsonian magazine ran a cover story with the headline How the Chicken Conquered the World. "Let us now praise chicken in all its extra-crispy glory! Chicken, the mascot of globalization, the universal symbol of middlebrow culinary aspiration!" That was last year. "Nothing is more worthless than an individual chicken," Joy Williams once observed. Not for Smithsonian. Obviously there was some war going on and the chickens kicked our ass.

It’s not just the birds. For a character in Francesco Pacifico’s novel The Story of my Purity, the place of psychosis is apricot pastries: "Industrial apricots had become humanity’s enemy number one, [...]


You Are Going To Get Cancer Anyway, So Have The Steak

Now this is the kind of Science I can get behind! You know how vegetables SUCK and people only eat them because they think they have to, even though they are absolutely terrible and boring unless they are breaded and deep fried in butter? Good news! They aren't even healthy!


Life: Is It Really Worth Living If You Have To Eat More Vegetables To Do It?

"Five portions of fruit and vegetables a day – a familiar mantra for those concerned about their own and their children's health – may not, after all, be enough, according to a new report by scientists, who suggest we should instead be aiming for seven a day, and mostly vegetables at that. Alarmingly for some who thought they were doing the right thing, tinned and frozen fruit may not be helpful at all."


Bacon, Cream And Other Secrets Of Enjoying Late Fall Vegetables

We hear a lot about eating seasonally. I bet Maira Kalman's illustrating a Michael Pollan rule about it RIGHT NOW. In fact, I bet she already did. And I love eating seasonally—yes, it makes me feel superior and in tune with Mother Earth, ohm, but also it just tastes good. Like, a seasonal tomato versus a February tomato, those are two different vegetables. Two different planets. Two different galaxies. Two different universes that only Brian Greene can explain the simultaneous existence of. One is a vegetable, and one is gross, tasteless nonsense. Okay and also I do enjoy feeling sort of touchy-feely at-one with the planet, eating in-season, because otherwise, [...]


Produce Unattractive

"Deformed carrots, knobbly lemons and discolored zucchini are deemed unsellable by German supermarkets, resulting in an enormous amount of food waste each year. Students here recently launched a campaign to help get the ugly specimens back on store shelves." There are photos, and they are amazing.


Vegetables Are Bad For You

I don't know why you'd want to, but if you are eating vegetables, please do me a favor and rinse them very thoroughly before consuming them. They are covered in doody, and will probably give you an antibiotic-resistant strain of E. coli. Better to avoid altogether, or, if this is impossible, bread and deep-fry prior to eating.