Posts Tagged: Ugh

You Know What Was Funny on the Internet on April 1?

That's right. Nothing.

Can we change the calendar so that April 1 always falls on a weekend? Let's do that. Pope Gregory XIII can totally eat it.


Man Attacks 'Times' Success on Behalf of Its Readers

"His datapoints proving that Wall Street is irrelevant are (a) the fact that Lloyd Blankfein has hired a criminal defense lawyer; and (b) the megamerger between Deutsche Börse and the NYSE. Both stories, of course, have been extensively covered by DealBook; they’re right in its wheelhouse. And neither of them shows what Brisbane seems to think they show — that DealBook is an anachronistic throwback because Wall Street is less relevant than it used to be. Wall Street has always had lawyers and mergers; they’re what it’s built on." —Arthur Brisbane is a terrible Times' "Readers Representative," chapter 23 in a series. He's been at the job 14 [...]


"My family is eating stir-fried dandelions out of yards to keep from starving."

What are we to do about the disgusting plan to keep America's unemployment high? Since we're not marching on Washington, the right and the left aren't unifying on this issue on which we both agree and basically no one in the business world cares in the slightest, all we can do is create a few jobs ourselves and also keep putting out there what's really happening, which Yahoo!'s The Lookout is doing admirably. They've created a Tumblr where people tell their stories—lots of people. They got thousands of letters when they asked people to tell them what's really going on. You could just start here at the [...]


Paper of Record: That 11-Year-Old in Texas Is Actually a Victim!

The 11-year-old in Texas who was raped by a group of men was not, it turns out, asking for it, reports the paper of record, which was previously not really clear regarding the sixth-grader's ability to be considered a "proper" rape victim. (That is, when the paper wasn't overly concerned about the futures of the young men involved.) Yes, it's do-over time on the most outrageous story in the world, one that was so wildly mishandled that it prompted world-wide outcry and now… another, more thorough story—a story that is now about a "nightmarish ordeal." (You think?) It turns out the 11-year-old in question was a very [...]


California's Black Student High School Dropout Rate: 37%

"More than a third of California's African American public high school students dropped out before graduation day," according to the just-released 2009 data. (The actual number: 37%.) The state's superintendent of schools blamed this crazily outrageous number on cuts to schools; that, in part, "drastic cuts to summer school have prevented students from catching up on credits during the break." Overall, about 1 in 5 students drop out over four years.


Abe Foxman Still Has a Job

ADL head Abe Foxman: still employed. Anthony Weiner and Chuck Schumer: still very, very quiet on the subject of GROUND ZERO TERROR MOSQUE.


Huge Thieving Mortgage-Servicing Schmucks Indicted

Outfit that was already basically theft accused of more obvious theft! Since being raided by the feds last year, Taylor, Bean & Whitaker's decade-long attempt to make money out of nothing at all has not gone unpursued. The company, which bought and packaged millions of dollars in residential loans, including servicing mortgage loans for Freddie Mac, "filed for bankruptcy in August…. The lender began to experience cash flow problems in 2002 and in an effort to cover the shortfalls, the company devised a scheme to misappropriate funds from a bank and eventually did so as well from the federal government." To the tune of half a billion in TARP [...]


Talking Bus Stop Ad Annoys

"On the way home yesterday I noticed a bus stop shelter on Leeson St. has recently had installed a video with speakers into its poster board. Captives waiting for a bus must stand next to a short video explaining how to make something with a particular brand of cream cheese." —What's big in Ireland now? (Spoiler: bus stops with heinous annoying talking ads about cream cheese. Also probably drunkenness.)


Photos and Video from the Oslo Bombing

These pictures of the Oslo bombing today are terrible. And there's much more, to get a sense of the severity.


Kill Your TMZ TV

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@mmasters12 I don't know or care what Sam does. I want or have nothing to do with her, unless she affects my daughter in a negative wayless than a minute ago via Twitter for Android Favorite Retweet ReplyMichael LohanMichaelJLohan

Hey, did you read that Times story on the celebrity-media sexy pillow-fight that is our age? It is pretty [...]


Why Do People Take Snapshots of Themselves Holding Decapitated Heads?

Last year, the Army undertook a war crimes probe, with, as evidence, some 4000 photos and videos from Afghanistan. Which sound in some cases really bad, and in some cases, in extremely poor taste: posing next to dead bodies alone seems like a gross way to pass the time. Apparently people really get into this: "Soldiers have told investigators that such photos of dead bodies were passed around like trading cards on thumb drives and other digital storage devices." 12 soldiers in all have been charged, most of them for lesser crimes; five were charged regarding "premeditated murder." Now Der Spiegel has just published three of the photographs, [...]


The Black Eyed Peas Are Back and You Have to Hear This Heinous Single!

Raiding the worst of the 80s, the Black Eyed Peas have released a semi-cover of the improbably titled "(I've Had) The Time of My Life," the Dirty Dancing-enabled monster-smash duet of late 1987. Were you there? It was terrible. Fortunately, the BEP have reduced the title to "The Time" because, words r long. And then they took a bath in Autotune. It fits nicely in their genre of "it's Friday night, let's get dressed to go out and dance in the mirror and everything is going to be awwweesssoommme" music. (All that being said, the synthy verse beat part of the song is kind of great, it's undeniable.) [...]


"Party Down" Is Over

The very funny Party Down, which just aired its season-two finale, has been canceled by Starz. "After careful consideration," "grateful to everyone involved," "proud," said the corporate blah blah announcing the axing.


10 Sequels I Will Watch Before 'Ghost Rider 2'

I am a proud American who paid to see Ghost Rider in the theater. You may remember it (I barely do!) as the movie in which Nic Cage is a flaming skull. I had to read the Wikipedia entry to make sense of the plot, involving as it does the devil's agent, a series of contracts and the devil's agent's angry son. (Like the film's own plot, the movie itself required about six years of contractual wrangling to even begin filming.) Well, apparently there is going to be a sequel! Without even Googling, I can think of ten sequels I would watch long before Ghost Rider.


Joe Lieberman, Worst Person Ever, Pimps Book in NYC Tonight

Senator Joseph "That Idiot" Lieberman is pimping his book, “The Gift of Rest: Rediscovering the Beauty of the Sabbath," up at the Yeshiva University's Lamport Auditorium (Amsterdam Ave. at 187th St.) at 6:30 tonight. I'm trying to think of anyone more terrible than him, and I'm failing. Anyway, just thought you should know. By which I mean, in case you want to go (peacefully) shout at him.


Google Is Gamifying Reading!

Oh perfect, Google News has announced a revolutionary new product: badges for your Google News Reading Activity. See now when you prove you are Good At Reading, your Google Teacher gives you a gold star for the day.

Actually, no gold stars: the badges range "from Bronze to Ultimate," which… that's not really a coherent scale? I think folks just think no one knows what "platinum" is anymore and why it's "better" than gold. But come on. It's not like I'm suggesting maybe rhodium should start showing up in the metal-based scale of BADGIFICATION.

Anyway, R U going to READ MOAR now that Google gives you [...]


This NYC Cop Rape Case Is the Worst

Unsurprisingly, I'm not particularly enjoying each morning's report from the New York City police offer rape trial. (Yeah, go figure.) Here's part one and here's part two, and it's a rotten thing to wake up and read. The story, in brief, is that a young woman came home to the East Village intoxicated; she needed help getting out of the cab, so the cabbie called 911; two cops arrived, took her in; paid the cab; and then they returned to her apartment three more times that night. (They said they were discussing her alcoholism with her, which, that's not something you do while someone has come home [...]


Bad Stuff Still Happening

If you're worried that you haven't been horrified or upset enough today, click here: "The parrot was mimicking, 'Help me. Help me.' Then he would laugh," Bonnette said. "We think he was mimicking the mother when he said, 'Help me. Help me,' and mimicking the daughter when he laughed."


'Cosmopolitan' Seeks To Understand Men (And Sell Magazines)

"We're asking so much more of men today. We want them to be great providers – but we also want them to get pedicures. We want them to be sensitive – but we also want them to be alpha males." -That's Cosmopolitan editor Kate White, proving why she's a high-paid executive in a time-bubble of 1998.


BREAKING: Madonna Allows Lola To Type in Public

This is, to put it very plainly, a huge gay catastrophe! The tween clothing line that Madonna and her daughter Lola are doing for Macy's is getting pimped to high heaven, because it hits stores soon, and the latest bit of marketing is… a blog post. Written by Lola herself-a "From The iDesk of Lola" kind of thing, to rile up the tweens. It's sort of heartbreaking, actually. Beginning, as it does, "Helluuur thurrrr, I'm Lola and this is my first blog entry so it's kind of like ummmm….."