"You Won't Believe What's In Your Turkey Burger," unless you've seen almost every other scary story about ground meat and the doody contained therein, in which case your skepticism will remain at bay.
Each year for as long as I can remember, I've been invited to go to Israel for free, to see the country: the discos of Haifa! The towers of Tel Aviv! The horrible, horrible weather! Sometimes this solicitation comes from the government or the foreign ministry or its tourist bureau; sometimes from various nonprofits, or sometimes from the Emergency Committee for Israel. It makes a lot of sense, of course: you go over, you see some beautiful countryside, you meet some nice people—and suddenly you feel personally interested and even invested (if you aren't already) in the future of Israel. And then you're all like: Palestine? What Palestine? [...]
In lieu of a recipe from our Real American Thanksgiving Cookbook, please accept this safety video from the folks at State Farm, which combines the two great American pastimes of setting awesome fires and deep frying stuff. Enjoy!
This just in: "Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu could ease the blockade imposed on Gaza following international criticism of the deadly raid on an aid flotilla, Israeli media reported on Thursday." Wow. Also! It's always an interesting experiment when you switch it up and try some other news from non-American papers. "Gaza-bound flotilla activists given hero's welcome in Turkey" about sums it up from the English language papers in Turkey.
Not all turkeys will be overcooked and mostly ignored in favor of the tasty stuffing and wine this Thanksgiving. These birds live wild and free in Morro Bay, California—the feral turkeys hang around the golf course for a few hours, and then head down the stairs to the beach.
I eat a lot of Questionable Things, with gravy on ’em and stuff, so I thought I maybe should find some ways to improve my diet, and to that end, I have been eating a lot of those “Energy Bar” CLIF® bar things lately, in order to be Healthy, you know? I mean, it’s like this, I thought instead of a greasy baconeggandcheese every morning from the place on the corner, I would instead enjoy CLIF® bar at my desk (along with two giant glasses of water, which is also Healthy, but mostly because otherwise a goddamn CLIF® bar will choke you out because they are so compacted with [...]
Aww, the President made a wee little statement for the observation of Armenia's day of independence. It was very tepid! I'm sure he feels bad about not being able-literally, being prevented from-further enraging Turkey. Still though, in good news, even the president of Turkey sent good wishes to Armenia. One hopes everyone will continue to ignore the little slights.
"Terror experts called in after Turkish villagers mistake bird for Israeli spy… because it had overly large nostrils"
I definitely think Thanksgiving is better than Passover. Although the latter has the edge in terms of length, elaborateness and specificity of the ritual meal, the former pulls ahead with better food (despite lacking charoset), and none of that “thank you god for bringing us out of Egypt by your mighty hand” business.
I stopped going to synagogue in high school (other than weddings and bar/bat mizvahs—benei mitzvah for those of you who like proper Hebrew pluralizations, cause yeah, I still got it), stopped fasting for Yom Kippur in college and was never very good at a week without leavened bread, but it took me several years after that [...]
The shady charity that wants to send aid to Gaza, bypassing Israel's blockade, has "ties" to Turkey's government and "political elite"! Ties, I say! For instance: "A trustee of the charity, Ali Yandir, is a senior manager at the Istanbul City Municipality Transportation Corporation." They run the Istanbul ferry system! How shocking that the political "ruling class" in Turkey of all places should be involved in an organization that supports aid to Palestinians. (And how amazing that it seems so unfathomable to Americans.) And that this organization is allowed to donate money to (two!) charities run by the elected political leadership of Gaza! What's more, according to the [...]
How bad do you want to be on TV? Bad enough that maybe you could be tricked into being held captive for two months in a villa outside Istanbul, because there actually was no show? BECAUSE YES, THAT HAPPENED. The nine women weren't harmed but "were told to fight each other, to wear bikinis and to dance by the villa's pool." Which, sounds pretty much like my last weekend, only much longer, and therefore better? But also, how do you know that the reality show for which you are "auditioning" is a real reality show, not a prison? There are a couple of ways to know, and one of [...]