Posts Tagged: Things

George Clooney Has Those Terrible Doors

Hate those doors.

But! From elsewhere in this bizarre video tour of his house: "That’s Einstein, that’s my dog. I was given the dog from a lovely shelter, but they’d gotten it from a place where they… take ’em out. He’s a fun dog." Which, aww, yay.


“All the News That's Fit to Gif”

Here, you really, really need this brand new web thing!


Cheap Kindle is Cheap

This is exactly what Amazon wants: cheap, ubiquitous devices that run their digital media stores. Because while most people focus on the purchase price, buying a Kindle is a lot like buying a game console: it’s not very useful until you spend more money feeding it with content, and Amazon takes a cut of all content sales.

From the cables to the screen to the ads it serves, the new $79 Kindle is cheap in every way, which in the end perhaps becomes a virtue: it's on the way to becoming disposable. (Well, for the 1%, obviously.)


Gird Yourselves for August

Oh my God, what are you guys doing this weekend?

"12 CDs for the price of 1?" No thanks!

Korean-American adoptees on their first trips to Korea.

America's Tea Party and Anders Breivik

"Just because you write most of a book doesn’t mean you can finish and sell a book." (Ruh roh!)

• Here comes August! Consider it proved: it's the month when real scandals grip the country and we pay attention to other things.

• And this weekend is going to be toasty. There may be cooling centers! Mmm, cooling.

Photo by Nicole Cash.


Popular Aspects of Celebrities And/Or Gadgets, in Ascending Order

• authentic

• virus-free

• attainable

• exclusive

• compatible

• popular

• English-speaking


A Week of Hysteria Crashes Hard

We investigated lady-related scifi visions of the future that may or may not work out.

We checked in with "Boardwalk Empire" at its halfway point.

We looked, with great yearning, toward what would come after this bloody horrid election.

We followed a spectacular contestant in the Apollo's famous amateur competition.

We got a smartass baby sister to go along with our joke- and poop-obsessed younger brother.

Of course the award for most-commented-upon post of the week goes to a conversation about political candidate Christine O'Donnell.

Hey! So let's meet back here on Monday to count how many children we've each [...]


What Not To Say

Dan Schneider, who is responsible for pretty much every non-animated show on Nickelodeon, has a list of "funny" phrases that deserve to be retired. It includes "Did I say that out loud," "Too much information!" and the ever-popular "Really?" I would add the "with [X]'s [genitalia]" construction, but otherwise, yes.


Already Over: Your Granite Kitchen Countertops

“Granite has taken on the Kleenex brand,” says Carino, the HGTV host. “Now everything’s Kleenex. Most people don’t realize that they don’t actually want a granite countertop.” They might want soapstone. They might want Silestone. What they’re really looking for, Carino says, is “granite-esque.”

The forward-leaning design snobs — the readers of “Dwell” and “Architectural Digest” — have already moved on. They want poured concrete in swirling designs. Carino is trying to turn people on to quartz, which is even harder than granite, even less porous.

Your aspirational kitchen material is barely valid.


"Animals In Places They Shouldn't Be"

From the Internet that brought you Barely Feral Dot Tumblr Dot Com and Animals In Casts and Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses Dot Tumblr Dot Com, please welcome Animals In Places They Shouldn't Be Dot Tumblr Dot Com. [Via]


Ifttt: Pretty Much the Greatest Thing Ever

Ifttt is pretty close to being the greatest thing in the world. Go explore the preset recipes or make your own.


A Few Environments

Playground next to low-income housing. At night. Modular squares of beaten rubber serve as gridlike, lunar ground. Swoop of a tubular plastic slide. Sag of a miniature plank bridge that joins a pair of raised platforms, one outfitted as nautical helm, the other roofed with a ziggurat. The vast brick cake—apartment complex—beyond. Counterfeit moons in clustered bulbs, the color of scrambled eggs, on poles.

Medicine cabinet mirror ajar. Shelves a mosaic: prescription orange, paradise blue. Twin hairs stuck to the grooved little shelf that should offer soap. Silver faucet a mounted bird’s neck. Raised drain-stopper whose ridge amasses a layer of slime. Damp jeans draped on translucent rod. Tile [...]


Things Keep Getting Older

Here's a list of 10 things turning 20 and 10 things turning 40 this year. As there is no designation for things turning 30 this year, here's 10 of 'em: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Sonic Youth, Stripes, "Super Freak," The Road Warrior, Metallica, Polyester, "Tempted," A Light in the Attic and "The Smurfs" cartoon. You will feel young or old accordingly.


Varieties of Things That One Rarely Bothers to Mention or Document

The week I had my wisdom teeth removed, I saw a man in line at the corner bodega drop a pencil, a nice-looking one, without noticing. I was fixed in a Percocet fog and stared at the pencil (handsome wood, something an architect would use) instead of telling the man he had dropped it. His transaction completed, he left, and I stepped up to the register, placing my beer next to it. I then turned to watch as an employee mopping the floor discovered the pencil, picked it up and admired it. I regretted not doing the same when I had the chance, but it seemed fair that all [...]


So This Week Is Gonna Be Like This, Eh?

From the inbox: "Media Advisory: Top 125 Dogs in Pop Culture Unveiled. INFORMATION CONTAINED HEREIN EMBARGOED UNTIL DEC. 22 AT 11AM. The American Kennel Club (AKC) and AOL will announce the results of the nationwide poll that determined the 125 most iconic dogs in American pop culture on Tuesday, December 22nd from 11:00 AM – 12:00 PM at the Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum. PHOTO OP: Beagles representing Snoopy – with one dressed as the Red Barron – and Underdog; a Collie representing Lassie and Texas A&M mascot Reveille (wearing a doggie jersey); Bulldogs representing University of Georgia's UGA and Georgetown's Jack the Bulldog (also wearing doggie jerseys) [...]


252 Things Our Readers Bought on Amazon This Year

As an Amazon affiliate, we get a wee percentage of sales from people who click through from our site to Amazon. But better than that, we get a report from Amazon about what people have purchased! (Don't worry, it's all anonymous: there's no information at all passed on about the purchaser's identity.) One thing we can guarantee: you people buy things online. Here are just a few excerpts from the year 2011, here with quantity, title, media and cost.

1 Chupacabra (HD), Amazon Instant Video, $2.84

2 "Top Chef: Don't Be Tardy for the Dinner Party," Instant Video, $1.89

1 Buffalo by David Bitton Men's Bridle Strap Belt [...]


Eleven Impossibilities

Doctor Says I Can’t Fly Anymore Something to do with kidney strain. Now, absurdly, my feet are what move me. I look to the sky, clouded by people: executives floating to work in suits… kids soaring too high, backpacks dangling by a strap. Police officers hover ten stories up, analyzing the flow of traffic. When my neck aches from tension and longing, I return to the rippled shade of the sidewalks, which are in severe disrepair, as everyone in this city flies. I avoid fellow terrestrial travelers, who inevitably seek to combine their misery with mine. The path is dim—is cracked, unreal and lonely—but veined with a sunlight sifted [...]


One Socialist World Currency! Understanding Bitcoin

This is a fairly helpful explanation of bitcoin mining. To back up a little, and to put it in non-nerd terms, your computer "earns" (or "makes") bitcoins by, basically, doing math. Because it's an "economy," you have to do a lot more math to "earn" the same amount of money over time; new bitcoins are being "issued," with greater "value" (defined as amount of work), until the system reaches a cap, in the year 2033, when we all live in space. Our guide writes: "Since competition made the difficulty level astronomical, they’ve overwhelmingly joined 'mining pools' that hand everyone a consistent small amount of bitcoins proportional to [...]


We Are Hijacking This Awesome Free Vacation Giveaway

Would you like to win a four-night stay for two at the Montpelier Plantation in Nevis? There is a contest giveaway of just that! There are no cellphones and no TVs; but there is a free breakfast that includes homemade yogurts. Um, basically it's kind of nice, if you like 19-room boutique hotels on 60 acres with dogs roaming around and tropical beaches.


New Internet Now Allows People to Interact on Video

This thing just happened. It's called VYou. Basically it's non-live Chatroulette without any dudes masturbating. (Yet.) We are testing it out ourselves to see if it has any practical uses whatsoever. Really though, all I can think when I look at it is: oh gosh, wait till the gays get their hands on this.


Look At All The New Fishies!

The long-haired crab, the Darth Vader jellyfish and the vampire squid are but three of the new species discovered in the "global marine census." You know what? It's all pretty cool. Enjoy.