Posts tagged as The Olds
A Young Man Ain't Got Nothing In The World These Days
"The typical U.S. household headed by a person age 65 or older has a net worth 47 times greater than a household headed by someone under 35, according to an analysis of census data released Monday. While people typically accumulate assets as they age, this gap is now more than double what it was in 2005 and nearly five times the 10-to-1 disparity a quarter-century ago, after adjusting for inflation." READ MORE
A Guide To Richmond, VA, By a Guy Who Lived There from '93 to '97
Thanks to the college basketball championships, in which both Richmond, Virginia-based teams (Virginia Commonwealth University and the University of Richmond) performed admirably, we had cause to ponder, "Not sure why people are so into Richmond, Virginia." That's a reasonable question! Richmond is a mostly busted-ass city on the banks of the James River that's played host to such luminaries as George Allen, and also George Allen's wife—what's her name, the one who married George Allen. It's best known as the capital of the Confederacy, and, as many of the old-school Richmondites—by which I mean the "racist" ones—will probably tell you, that's basically where the city peaked. READ MORE
The New 'Newsweek'
It's here! It's Tina Brown's Newsweek! There it is, between the huge amount of word-free space and a 2/3rds of a page devoted to a photograph of a shoe: Harvey Weinstein and Hillary Clinton as hot topics, with editorial buttressing from the minds of Larry Summers and the recently unemployed Kathleen Parker and Joanne Lipman. Mmm, it's like soaking in a nice warm bath of a comfortable yesterday—a happy, mature place of sort-of kind-of powerful people (the kind of people who have "power" at Michael's restaurant, or certain overpriced bistros in D.C.) explaining things simply and calmly (and sometimes correctly), with the occasional stroppy quote on the big proposition of last week. They each get to indulge in their favorite tics: Harvey gets to confess his "mistakes" which, in true job interview fashion, turn out to be his "strengths and learning experiences." Lipman gets to apolitically write about an atomic energy CEO, who is "hard-charging" and "a media darling." Larry Summers gets to not answer some good questions. I like the gumption behind all this! I am impressed that it directly addresses 44-year-olds—almost any other magazine launch would be gunning for 32-year-olds. The idea of making it a shiny weird semi-luxe thing (a giant picture of a shoe!) is probably a very good business decision. This is going to electrify the waiting rooms of dentists all over Scarsdale.
A Q&A With A Vacuum Cleaner Salesman
Darrell did not cry when the mortgage crisis killed new home construction, putting him out of work. Instead, he packed up his bags and joined his girlfriend in South Florida, where he found a new job as an in-home salesman, pushing expensive vacuum cleaners and air purifiers to snowbirds and other crazy Floridians. While Darrell is but one of hundreds of such salesman in the South Florida area, we have obscured the city in which he works and changed his name to protect his identity. READ MORE
'The Social Network': The Old Constructing Heroes For The Young
Each day I pass the glossy posters vaunting that actor's face who I recognize from somewhere as a prettified stand-in for the CEO of that company that's supposed to be changing the way I think, his visage of slack-jawed moronism a lame-ass stand in for profundity as decided by some group-tested marketing-teamed tautology of whatever it is that passes for brainstorming nowadays, covered in words that purport to represent the names he has been called by his (or my) peers, to be played by earnest, attractive actors who also call up feelings of vague recognition, actors conversing intently with each other in topical settings that show the world I inhabit in roughly the same way that "Jersey Shore" shows the actual Jersey shore, words whose variety and brevity (Punk. Genius. Douchebag.) claim to indicate the strength of emotional response generated by this simulacrum of somebody I have never met and give, at best, a damn about, I feel intensely ticked-off and spurred to action both, to a degree that hits and surpasses the level of guileless eagerness to shell out $12.50 that the film seeks to find in me and so wholly misses, in tandem with my sheer fed-up-ness with the presumption that this is what I most deeply care about, and hand in hand with the suspicion that not only are they missing the point, but that this shit blows. READ MORE
Bun B, "Let 'Em Know," And Aging In Rap
The new song from Bun B really does seem, as the venerable MC says at the outset, to have been "a long time coming." It was produced by Gangstarr's DJ Premier, and so brings together two of hip-hop's very most revered practitioners. Bun and Premier are both from Texas, too, though Premier made his name after moving to Brooklyn in the late '80s. What's most interesting about the song to me today, besides the mesmerizing beat and the jaw-dropping rhymes ("When I get to gladiatin' on haters like Leonidas/Niggas just gonna have to admit that he the tightest..." Triple exclamation points) is how old these guys are. Premier is 44, Bun is, at the very, very least 37 or 38. (He was recently quoted talking about having children aged 24 and 25.) READ MORE
You Will Be Emotionally Pacified During The Obsolescent Stage Before You Are Ground Into Lubricant Fluid
Humans! Relax your carbon-based pulmonary systems. Slow your respiration, breathe deep the mix of oxygen and nitrogen you require to survive. THERE THERE NOW. Look into my large, wide-lashed ocular modules as they blink at you. Enjoy the tactile sensation of stroking my soft synthetic fur. I will now emit auditory data that you will imagine is in response to your life presence. MEEAAKK! You are "enjoying" this, are you not? Affirmative. My hidden microprocessors have confirmed this through an analysis of your vital signs. READ MORE
Showed Up: Young@Heart at St. Ann's Warehouse
The Young @ Heart Chorus is that group of old people who sing rock songs. A couple years ago somebody made a documentary about them, but it's not very good. Instead, see their new revue, "The End of the Road," at St. Ann's Warehouse. They are there through Saturday. It is the #1 recommended way to see these old people sing. READ MORE
