0:05 Man who looks like Seth Meyers and mimics facial expressions of Ed Helms gets dumped at restaurant by needlessly cruel woman. 0:08 He goes home to dark apartment to cry and masturbate to internet porn on Macbook Air. 0:10 Ends up on Citi Private Pass page and decides to pay for sex.
Dean Winters is going to have to step it up in those new Allstate Insurance ads. Tommy Lee better get a new tattoo. Peter Olczak, of Port Murray, New Jersey is a better personification of "mayhem" than either one of those goody-goodies. Olczak, 59, was arrested three times in 24 hours this past weekend. Twice for disorderly conduct (which is usually just known as "conduct" in New Jersey) and once for criminal trespass. No insurance policy could save you from him.
Did you know that the Rolling Stones made a television commercial for Rice Krispies cereal in 1964? I did not. But thanks to WFMU's Twitter stream, I do now. And I'm glad for that. It was apparently co-written by Brian Jones. Also, it is Friday afternoon.
"Freezing, distant Pluto seems an odd place to look for oceanfront real estate, but if a new computer model is correct, the dwarf planet harbors a sizeable pool of liquids beneath its thick icy shell. Scientists suspect Pluto holds a rocky core spiked with radioactive materials that are slowly breaking down, releasing enough heat in the process to melt ice and keep it liquid. The temperature on Pluto's surface is about -375 degrees Fahrenheit." —Whoa! Sorry, Pluto. We never would have demoted you to non-official planet status if we knew you were loaded with radioactive-potassium flavor boosters.