"Three-quarters of a century ago, Swedish authorities tried to put a stop to the pernicious encroachment of international pop music, and instead they accidentally built a hothouse where it flourished."
"After a visitor group had left the compound area, Santino went inside the enclosure and brought a good-sized heap of hay that he placed near the visitor's section, and immediately after that he put stones under it. He also appeared to have placed projectiles behind, just before he went in after the hay. After this, he sat down beside the hay and waited. When the visitors came back, he waited until they were close by and, without any preceding display, he threw stones at the crowd. What makes this a bit special is that he actually had not experienced before what he seemed to anticipate. He, in a sense, [...]
Pity the vampires. They've been tucked and slicked and oiled and waxed out of any shred of real dignity. Whatever happened to the grainy, unwashed horror of Dracula? The blood-soaked poetry of Bram Stoker? Nowadays vampires are a joke–walking sex toys with their spackled hair and waxy genitals and teams of rabid publicists who are far scarier than any bloodsucker in history.
And yet for even the most heinous cinematic-genre crimes, redemption can arrive in myriad ways. In this case, it came from Sweden.
Remember that badass helicopter heist in Sweden last September? The one where "masked robbers dropped from a helicopter onto the roof of a Swedish cash depot before dawn, broke into the building through a glass pyramid, set off explosions to get to the millions inside and escaped by hoisting themselves and their haul back up on rope lines"? The ten people charged in the haul go on trial this month, and footage of the crime has finally been released. It's okay, I guess, but it would be better with someone going "muhahahaha" in the background.
That amazing heist in Sweden we talked about last week was even more cinematic than we thought: Apparently Serbian paramilitaries were part of the team. Former members of the "Red Berets" paramilitary unit who fought wars in former Yugoslavia in the 1990s took part in the heist, along with Swedish robbers, said Interior Minister Ivica Dacic, who heads Serbia's police.
Six men are currently in custody for the crime, but if this thing continues to hold true to dramatic convention, expect an incredibly sexy girlfriend to bust them out while a waiting speedboat is revved and ready to help them make their escape.
Nearly half of all voters are so dumb they'll completely change their strongly held political beliefs if you give them a piece of paper with opposite beliefs, researchers have discovered. Even the youngest wizards and witches can perform such simple magic, meaning that all future elections will be decided by our oldest and still most believable religious system: magic.
To get people to reverse their opinions, crafty researchers had the test subjects fill out a survey about an upcoming election. After the dummies finished their forms, the researchers used "sleight of hand" to return a form with the opposite answers selected. "92% of the study participants accepted the manipulated summary [...]
"The religion is like a glue. We attract each other. If a drum is beating, and someone hears it, the next thing you know, this place is packed." —Brooklyn Voodoo priestess Marie Saintil talks to the BBC about how her religion has helped Haitians recover from last year's earthquake. Coincidentally, probably, the beloved and troubled singer D'Angelo played a concert in the Swedish capitol of Stockholm. It was his first performance in ten years. And he is apparently preparing a new album, which would be his first since 2000's Soulquarian masterpiece, Voodoo.
"There is a ruling with legal force where a man was acquitted for the same reason after having peed behind a container. The court of appeal found then, just as we have, that the intent to offend or offensiveness in and of itself, was lacking." -Annika Johansson, district court judge in Nacka, Sweden, explains that she threw out the charges against a man arrested in March for illegal public urination because he "went behind a bus shelter to relieve himself, taking care to keep his back toward the sidewalk."
"I thought maybe he was taking notes. So I asked: 'Are you taking notes?' I could hear his heavy breathing before he woke up. He stayed awake for just a few more minutes before slipping off again into slumber." -A despondent man in Sweden phoned a suicide hotline hoping for guidance only to be answered by an exhausted cleric who fell asleep during the call. The suicidal Swede was so irate that he decided against taking his own life so that he could complain about the somnolent pastor.
Holy crap, Sweden! "With cinematic flourish, the masked robbers dropped from a helicopter onto the roof of a Swedish cash depot before dawn, broke into the building through a glass pyramid, set off explosions to get to the millions inside and escaped by hoisting themselves and their haul back up on rope lines. All in 20 minutes, and all while Stockholm police were grounded by a fake bomb planted outside their own helicopter hangar." They even stole the helicopter they used to commit the crime. That is some badass shit right there.
"A cleaning lady stole a train and drove it off the end of the tracks and smashed into a house in Sweden on Tuesday, injuring only herself in an incident police are investigating."
By all accounts, Scandinavia is one of the most prosperous, peaceful and income-equal places to live in the world. Sweden, Finland, Norway and Denmark hold four of the top five spots in the World Democracy Index (the U.S. ranks 15th). The Scandinavian countries are all the way at the top of OECD’s ranking of the happiest countries in the world (the U.S. is 19th), and they’re all the way at the bottom of the CIA’s ranking of countries by income inequality (the U.S. is 40th out of 140).
But when, on October 15, rallies inspired by the Occupy Wall Street movement were held around the [...]
It's good to remember-for reasons both depressing and, in the misery-loves-company way, oddly comforting-that other countries struggle with the same issues America struggles with. Take Sweden, for instance, where a television station's refusal to air a clearly racist television ad promoting an anti-immigrant political party has raised an interesting debate over censorship-and calls from neighboring Denmark for international election observers to monitor the September 19th vote. Here's the ad, from the Sweden Democrats party.
Chinese media have confirmed what we in the West suspected all along: that concealed in the northern Swedish woods is a city of 25,000 women, many of whom have turned to Sapphic love to satiate their natural Scandinavian sexual desires. According to news agancy Xinhua, the all-female enclave is called 'Chako Paul City', and was founded in 1820 by a 'wealthy widow'. The city is guarded by two blonde sentries who prevent men from entering. Those chaps who do unwisely attempt to force the issue risk being 'beaten half to death' [...]