We all know what time the Super Bowl starts, whether it's here in New York City or in other, less important places, but there's one question nobody has asked: what time does the Super Bowl start… on the moon? The answer will shock and surprise you! And also confuse you!
The answer: 46-11-27 ∇ 10:43:09, according to the helpful site Lunarclock. Haha look at those weird numbers and that triangle thing in the middle! What!
When South Africa hosted the World Cup, the European Press was filled with denunciations of this choice, because surely “a developing nation” wouldn’t have the wherewithal to host an event of such status and magnitude. What does the thirty-four-minute blackout—caused by too much electricity—say about this country? Have we overdeveloped or are we actually undeveloping? Are we the player, so pumped up on steroids that we can barely squeeze out of their jerseys or are we the player so decimated by repeated blows to the head, we need help remembering the names of our family? We’re both: two Americas defined by structural inequality and the withering of the idea that [...]
AARRROOOO!!! Now, right now, is Super Bowl! This week! The most American week of all! Super Bowl has more America™ in it than Fourth of July, Election Day, the Academy Awards, NASCAR, and Tet all rolled up into one, and now is the time when America has Super Bowl all up in it!
Super Bowl is here for America, the Whole America! Super Bowl is here for you! Even if you don't want it! Especially if you don't want it! Super Bowl will football you until you love it! Super Bowl is here for the 47%, and the 98%, and the 99%, and it is brought to you by the [...]
Want to be a pretentious show-off with your friends this weekend when the big game is on? But you don't know the difference between the infield fly rule and a two-line pass (or even to what sports they apply)? Well, it's OK. Sports radio enthusiast and noted laundromat-lurker Jim Behrle, who graced us with his haiku picks this NFL season, has once again written down a cheat sheet of smart-sounding things you can spout during the Super Bowl! Remember, always take a pause in the middle of every sentence for maximum gravitas. Don't choke on a nacho while you opine!
"During their last meet-up in the [...]
From time to time, we offer free editorial space to common folk with something to say. Today, the subject of a documentary which appeared during last night's Super Bowl discusses his strange compulsion.
I hear the hatred. I am aware of the mockery and the fear. How could it be otherwise? I’ve known it all my life. People point at me on the street in equal parts pity and disgust. Mothers will cross dangerous intersections, children in tow, in hopes of avoiding me. My employment history is an entirely predictable picture of vicissitude; I am hired, I spend a couple of weeks on the job, and then HR finds [...]
Despair though you might at the idea of the Black Eyed Peas, do not forget that Super Bowl halftime shows used to be like this. [Shudders.]
"No, you shouldn't be checking your pulse every five minutes during the Super Bowl. You can enjoy it. Jumping up and down and high-fiving is probably good, because at least you're getting some physical activity. It's the bad behaviors – the eating nachos and pizza and drinking too much – that need to be avoided." —,Stanford cardiologist Dipanjan Banerjee offers some perspective in one of those annual Super Bowl scare stories. Anyway, be careful out there; the game is a stressful event which may very well destroy your big fat fucking heart. [Via]