This is mostly an experiment on my part to see if the Internet's devotion to Sriracha is so strong that it will click through on pretty much anything about the beloved "hipster ketchup," but you may as well watch this video anyway, it is a decent primer on chile pepper heat. My personal addiction remains Huy Fong's chili garlic sauce, but as far as sweet and spicy stuff you squeeze out of a bottle I cannot really argue with the Sriracha, and theirs is the best of its kind.
It looks like there is no wine shortage after all, and the Sriracha is safe for another year! Now what will the Internet panic about? Probably nothing. I think we can all assume that the Internet has learned its lesson and will from this moment forward approach all news stories with a measure of skepticism and restraint and hahaha no I can't do this with a straight face either.